Alastor's Fading Static Hatred (Radiodust mpreg)

Chapter Eighty-Seven: Jeff's Radio Station

Rat had come to our house to put powerful protect-and-deflect spells on the gates, his slitted pupils looking like they had disappeared in the sea of blue scleras behind his sunglasses when he was done. I offered him a coffee afterwards.

He sipped the coffee as he tuned the radio to a station I thought didn't exist. He sat there as a bizarre Night Vale style radio station broadcasted.

"Again, being in heaven was not my choice, but I have chased my fiancé's double out of my apartment with a broom and I kinda hate that he keeps coming back. In other news, the humans have decided to look past the stars, so I offer them this warning: stop looking past the stars if you don't want to see something you don't want to see. Like your dead grandma masturbating. Thank you." A voice that was on the feminine end of masculine said through the radio. Fae perked up automatically.

"It's Jeff." He whispered before making a girlish giggling noise and digging through his backpack for a slip of paper. He scribbled down the radio station and calling number before putting it in his phone case.

"We release a statement issued by my fiancé's double: "you fucking get back here, you hawt fuck, I want to destroy you in Mariokart 4." I then proceeded to kick his ass in Mariokart 4 and then I beat his high-score in Just Dance 2026. He's still crying because I beat him by 420 points, to which all I have to say is nice. Don't do drugs, kids." Jeff added.

"That's beautiful." Angel laughed, crying slightly. "Neither you nor your double can dance, Fae! You're both doomed!"

"Shut up, Angel, I had to teach you how to do a formal dance instead of just twerking or flossing or something." I retorted, causing Fae to absolutely scream "OOOHH BURN" in Angel's face. "Quiet you." I said, tapping him with the paper. Jeff continued about the respective weathers of Space, Heaven, Urban Heaven, Earth, Night Vale, Magic Earth, Urban Hell, and Hell, describing each with menacing tones in some places (mostly Night Vale, which was getting meteor rain, void, a desert hurricane, and dropping corpses over the next several weeks).

"How did you know this station existed just now? It wasn't a station before." I asked Rat while Jeff put on requested music.

"Ya fuckin' know why, Alastor, don' play like yer daft. I'm the author." Rat said, staring at me over his sunglasses with the most unamused look on his face.

"Right, right. So is this Jeff's little radio station?" I asked.

"Yep. He got permission t' use it last night. So, his dad an' his mom's double are helpin' 'em by directin' calls and givin' 'em th' papers t' read off." Rat stirred a little bit of milk into what remained of his coffee to get up the last little bit to drink easily. "I might help once I don' haveta keep an eye on what all is happenin' down 'ere when th' book is in th' final drafts and bein' audio-recorded for th' newer generations."

"Okay..." I vaguely agreed, not understanding what the fuck he just said because of the thickness of his Scottish accent. Angel and Fae seemed oblivious to our conversation, so I assumed Rat put a muting spell around us so they couldn't hear our talk.

"Jeff started th' radio station in an attempt t' keep ya updated on his state of wellbeing 'cause he knows you still don' have a phone an' ya are secretly a compulsive worrier and overthinker. He dint want ya t' worry as much. He told me that he would outright tell ya all over th' radio if anythin' bad happened t' him." Rat said absently to me and I felt angry that he was so casual about something that I blatantly refused to accept about myself.

"Don't-"

"Mention that yer a compulsive worrier? And an overthinker? No. I'm makin' sure that ya know what ya are." Rat said with a sly grin. "It's unhealthy t' ignore things, Alastor. Close your eyes eyes for a moment." Rat's accent disappeared. I squeezed my eyes shut. "You ignored me when I told you to stop killing people. You ignored me when I tried to help you with your anxiety and depression. You ignored me when I told you I loved you. I loved you so much, but it was never reciprocated properly. That is why he's coming for you now, my lovely little demon." Rat hummed in Daniel's voice. I wasn't entirely sure that he wasn't being possessed by Daniel, so I opened one eye.

Sure enough, Rat's eyes were green and he was sitting in the exact same position that Daniel would always sit.

"O-oh..." I choked back a sob. "That was why you were always trying to get my attention. I thought I was loving you back properly, Danny. I'm so sorry."

"I want you back, but I know that that can't happen." Daniel said sadly. "You're already married."

"Yes, I am, but we agreed that a breakup was the best idea when you were dying from taking a bullet for me. I could hook you up with someone who would love you unconditionally after we stop this mess." I offered. He nodded and muttered yes please.

"Ally, do you have any idea how to stop him from killing you or your family?" Daniel asked hopelessly as a tear fell down Rat's cheek from his eye.

"Is it your dark unforgiving side that hates me right now?" I asked softly, sliding a hand across the table to put it on Daniel's borrowed hand. Daniel nodded.

"I can't take back my body anymore. Everything hurts when I'm in that body because of how much my other half is fucking around with curses and being hexed." Daniel told me with tears rolling down his borrowed cheeks.

"Oh. Come with me for a second. I have something for you to inhabit for the time being if you want it." I told him, going upstairs to grab a mannequin that was shorter and thicker than me that Dad, Harlow, Heather, Mom, and I had all tinkered with so it had full range of motion and a better facial structure that could actually move.

"Oh! That's perfect! Did you make it?" He asked, making Rat's roughly stitched on fingers hover just inches above the mannequin.

"With a lot of help, yeah. There's actual bones in there and a human heart-shaped enchanted piece of metal because we thought we could reanimate it, but it didn't go well. The voodoo doll accepted the reanimation better than the mannequin, but the heart beats if stimulated, which is always lovely." I informed my ex. "The heart literally controls the whole mannequin because it acts as a brain and a heart."

"Can I get into it now?" Daniel asked cautiously.

"If you want. I'd probably have to make the heart beat and do a temporary sealing spell, but go ahead and try it on." I told him. He rested the roughly-made hands on the mannequin and Rat's body sagged really hard, toppling backwards and falling to the floor.

Daniel opened his eyes and saw Rat's head hit the floor.

"Is he going be okay?" Daniel asked softly.

"He'll be fine. He's got a plastic skull in there." I shrugged as I pulled a book off the shelf and opened up the chest cavity of the mannequin Daniel was in now. The heart was now warm to the touch, but not beating. I grabbed a wire and shocked the thing a few times, causing Daniel to shiver and the heart to start up. The wires around the heart buzzed with little shocks of electricity and Daniel sat up now that he could. I put a spell on the mannequin and helped my ex off the table.