Entanglements: A Beynika story (Part 1)

Loved?

*Onika's P.o.v*

After lunch, I got up and went to my bedroom. I unpacked and took a long warm relaxing bath. I got out and changed into a black shirt and underwear. I slipped on some pink shorts and went into my closet. I sat on the floor and pulled out the purple fabric box I had hidden away. Inside, I looked at some paperwork and an old check for three million dollars that I never cashed. I felt the guilt wash over me as I put in the box and went downstairs to Beyonce's office. I heard her sobbing and quickly opened the door. I saw her sitting in her desk chair crying into a handful of tissue. I locked the door and walked over and put my arms around her.

"Hey, what's the matter? Why are you crying?"

Beyonce looked up at me and started to say something but couldn't get it to come out. She just buried her face in my shirt and cried. I knew she'd get a headache from crying so much so I tried to get her to calm down but she couldn't and eventually went to sleep. I called Julius in to carry her up to her room. In Bey's room, I laid next to her in bed running my hand through her honey blonde curls. I missed this so much. Lying in bed watching her sleep. She used to be so loving towards me and I guess that's why I stayed outside of the other reason. Bey used to treat me like a Queen, anything I wanted or even looked at I got. Bey loved to spoil me when she could. She knew I valued her time more than anything so when we weren't working, Bey would make time for me. We'd spend the night in fancy hotels, we'd play flirty games with each other when were apart and when it was time for parties, we sneak and have fun having sex or making out with the fear of being caught. After we got married in the garden, I was ready to enjoy the perks of being with Beyonce but it didn't happen.

Bey stirred in bed and opened her reddened eyes. I leaned forward and gave her a light kiss on the lips. She kissed me back for a moment before breaking it.

"I have to tell you something."

"Okay."

"I never annulled our marriage. I was hoping it would work out so I held the paperwork."

"Why?"

"My Dad. He threatened to pull an immigration stunt on you and I married you to protect you but I also loved you and was going to marry you anyway but then shit just got messy and I hated it. I can break it all down later but I'm too tired right now."

"Can I tell you something?"

"Yes, Baby girl?"

"I know you never annulled our marriage. Your Dad came to me a month after we got married and before you started to act funny. He threatened to deport me and I had Simon look over my papers and I was fine but Mommy wasn't. My Dad did something years ago and messed up her papers that she wasn't aware of. It's why for the last few years, my Mom has been going back and forth to Trinidad to live for a few months at a time. She finally got it straight this last trip and that's why she moved back for good. I didn't want to tell you because I felt bad that I was using being married to you to keep me here without issue and to keep being able to help my Mom. I gave her money every month to help pay all her bills for her and 'Caiah while she's been going through this. I even paid Simon for her legal fees and such. I've been using you and I'm sorry."

"Onika! Why you didn't tell me?"

"I was going too but I didn't want you to get in trouble if something bad happened. I just wanted to protect you and Mommy from Mathew."

"Fuck Mathew! He has ruined our lives up until this point! Look at us and our relationship, we should be so in love and we can barely stand each other some days. Even with the Megan foolishness, I loved you with my whole being."

"Loved? I knew it." I reply quietly looking down.

"Onika, you know it's been real different with us. That love we had before this happened is dead. I'm sorry but it is."

My throat got really dry all of a sudden and words that wanted to form got muddled and stuck. I got up and ran into my room and went into my closet. I sat next to the bench inside and started to bawl my eyes out. Bey's words cut me like a knife and the shame of what I had done hit me all at once. It was ugly Kim Kardashian cry moment and I was glad there was no cameras to catch that. I cried until I had a headache and felt nauseated. That meatloaf was coming up and I barely made it into my bathroom in time. I felt the door open behind me as my head was over the toilet. The cool air from the door opening made me feel better in between my stomach clenching. I felt some hands on my hips before my hair was pulled back from my face. 

          "It's going to be okay Baby girl, let it out."

"You don't...have to... be in here."

"Shhhh! We'll talk when your stomach settles."

I nod as my stomach made another up churn. It was a long ten minutes before my stomach settled and I was able to walk away. I brushed my teeth and went over to get into bed. Bey left my room and I turned on my TV and started to watch cartoons. I recently picked up watching cartoons again since I'd been watching them with the baby soon. I bonded fast with my little one and would talk to my belly as of late. I wanted the world for my little one and now with my Mom's and I's affairs in order I could focus on the baby. I felt the baby move as I ran my fingers aimlessly around my belly button.

"Hi my love, I hope you are feeling okay in there. I can't wait to see you. Mommy loves you." I say quietly.

"Knock-knock." Bey said walking in with a glass of ice and seltzer water with three halves of lime. "Have some of this Baby girl."

I sat up and took the glass and had some of the water before putting it on the night stand. Bey gave me a kiss on the cheek and left. I sighed as I settled into bed. God, please give me a sign about what I should do about Beyonce?  Please. I prayed in my head as my eyes were shut tight waiting for sleep to over take me.

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Thoughts/ Comments?

My laptop died :( so slow updates maybe for a few days.

Excuse all errors.

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