Torin: Why am I not a watermelon?
Emory: Because your genetic code dictates that you are human. However, it should please you to know that you share 50-60% of your DNA with a watermelon.
Torin: Thanks, man.
Elijah: Wait, are you telling me that some humans are 10% more watermelon than other humans?
***
Taeka: If I had a dollar for every time Kadir spoke about Ilyas, I'd have one dollar.
Carnol: I don't understand. Kadir's always talking about Ilyas. Shouldn't you have more dollars?
Taeka: I would, but that would imply that my brother would have to shut up about Ilyas for half a second so I could earn my next dollar. I mean, look at him.
Kadir: ...Ilyas is just amazing. Did you see the way he beat that trainer? Arceus he's strong. I wonder if he could bench press me? I'm going to ask him. Hey Ilyas, could you bench press me? You could? Oh Arceus, that's so hot. You're so amazing. Ilyas' eyes are so purple I could drown in them. Do you think Ilyas knows I have a crush on him? I mean, we're married, but do you think he knows I love him? Ilyas, did you know I love you? You're my star.
Carnol: Is he always like that?
Taeka: *long suffering sigh* All the fucking time. I need a drink. Or many.
***
Carnol: When I said 'bring me back something from the beach', I meant like a seashell or something!
Xenala: *holding a struggling Wingull* Well, you should have fucking said that!
