SaVe Me Ft. Kim Taehyung (BTS) {COMPLETED ✔️}

Part Fifty-Five 오십 오

I park my car in front of my house. The tears still roll down my face. I haven't stopped crying ever since I got in my car. I feel horrible, devastated and lifeless. Up to about an hour ago, I lived the most amazing life. I had my dream job, amazing friends around me and the most amazing boyfriend. I lived the life of my dreams. But now... All of that is gone... 

I leave my car and grab my bag. Slowly, I walk to the front door of my house. As I open the door with my key, I feel like I am living in another world. A world where my dream life, never existed. I go inside and close the door behind me. I drop my bag on the floor, not caring that it falls over.

I see Yana and a guy - who I expect to be Jim - in the living room. Yana stands up and looks at me, "Ali? What are you doing here?" As she walks over to me, she looks really happy and has a smile on her face. But when she looks at my face, she scares. "What's going on?" She asks.

I open my mouth to tell her, but no words roll off my lips. Instead, I start to cry again. I put my hands on my face and burst out in tears all over again. Yana quickly comes to me and hugs me tight. She gives me a moment to let me cry, because she knows I won't be able to speak.

"What happened?" Yana asks as I stopped crying a little. Uncountable tears roll down my cheeks, but I am able to speak again. "Tae and I broke up..." I tell her. As I hear what I am saying, I feel like I could burst out in tears for the millionth time within the past hour.

Yana scares, "What? Why? How?" I take a deep breath. "His management found out..." I tell her. Yana seems to realize what that means. She hugs me again and holds me tight. "Oh, honey, I'm so sorry," she says. She doesn't seem to need any further explanation, or maybe she doesn't want to push me into telling her.

For a moment, we just stand there, holding each other. I am well aware of Jim's presence, but I don't care. I feel like my life is falling apart, so I don't care about some guy who doesn't know me, staring at me, wondering why I cry so much.

When Yana and I let go, I feel empty. I feel a hole in my heart where the guys of BTS used to be. Even though, I just left less than half an hour ago, I feel like they have completely disappeared from my life. And there's nothing I can do about it...

Yana turns around to Jim, standing in the living room and looking at us with worry in his eyes. "Maybe we should continue our movie-marathon another time," Yana tells him. Jim nods, "Yeah of course. I will leave you two alone." I wipe some tears off my face. "I am sorry for barging in and crying like this on your date..." I say.

Jim smiles kindly, "Don't worry. This is still your house and you are allowed to barg in here and cry whenever you want to." I smile weakly at him and nod. "I'm also sorry for the weird introduction... We haven't met before, but I swear I don't act like this all the time," I try to joke. Jim laughs, "I know. Yana has told me a lot of great things about you. Everyone has bad days, so don't worry about it."

He grabs his jacket and turns to Yana. "I'll call you later," he says. "Thank you," she says. They say goodbye and Jim walks out the door, leaving me and Yana alone. Yana puts her arm around my shoulders and we go into the living room. I sit down on the sofa and Yana disappears into the kitchen. Within two minutes she comes back with two cups of tea. She puts the cups of tea on the table and takes a seat next to me. She wraps her arms around me and holds me tight. "Do you want to talk about what happened?" She asks carefully. My first instinct is to say no, but she deserves to know. Besides, maybe it feels good telling her. 

So, I tell Yana everything. From the second Mitch and Min-Jun came in, until the second I got in my car and drove home. With tears rolling down my face like I am my own waterfall, I tell her everything that happend and how my life went from heaven to hell. Yana doesn't push me when I burst out in tears or need a moment to catch my breath. She stays silent and gives me time to tell the story in my own speed.

"I am so, so sorry for you, Ali..." Yana says after I told her everything. "I wish there was something I could do..." She says. As I look at her, I see tears rolling down her cheeks as well. "Me too... But I guess I just have to learn to live with it..." I sigh. I hold my cup of tea and take a sip. "I will always be here for you, okay? Even though nobody knows how, I will help you get through this," Yana says. 

I have no idea if there is even a way to get through this. I had the most amazing time and the most amazing life, but now all of that is gone... And I won't get it back. Everything that I've planned for the future, will never happen. We won't be able to make more memories. The only thing I can do is relive the memories I do have for the rest of my life.

I know I will do just that. Even though I told Taehyung to find a way to let go and move on without me, I know I won't be able to do the same. I won't be able to let go of him. The only thing I can do, is to find a way to live with it. I need to find a way to live with the fact that I will never be with him again... I will never hear his beautiful voice next to me or feel his arms around me...

In my new life BTS doesn't exist. Well, they do exist, but just like they did before I met them. From now on they will just be that amazing band, that looks so far out of reach. The only thing I can do to feel them close to me, is listen to their music or relive old memories.

After I've spend the rest of the evening talking to Yana about anything and everything, I take my bag and go into my bedroom. I finally stopped crying, but not because I don't want to cry anymore. I feel like I don't have any tears left to cry. Not that it surprises me, because I feel like I've cried for years!

As the door closes behind me, I look at my bedroom. I haven't been here in a while... I only slept here a few times with Taehyung or I came here to get more stuff to bring to the boys-house. I put my bag on my bed. I guess it's best to unpack it right away, before I postpone it forever.

As I open my bag and start to put my clothes back in my closet, I notice a hoodie on my chair. I grab it and see it's a black BTS hoodie with their logo on the front in white. I grab the hoodie with both my hands and bring it to my face. As I take a deep breath, I smell Taehyung's scent.

My body starts to shake and I feel like my legs turn to spaghetti. I nearly fall on the floor as I smell the hoodie one more time. I close my eyes and let myself believe that he is right here with me. I imagine that he sits next to me and wraps his arms round me. He kisses my head and tells me it will all be okay and we will get through this together. I lean against his chest and feel the warmth of his body against mine.

But when I open my eyes again, Taehyung is nowhere to be found. It's just me, holding his hoodie, crying without tears. I hug his hoodie and smell it one more time. If this is the only way to feel close to him, I know I will hold onto this for the rest of my life. How pathatic it might look, holding a hoodie and crying with dry tears, this is my life now. Just one broken girl, in a broken world...