James Buchanan Barnes Imagines

Flashbacks

Requested by, jeonisbub.

Nightmares and Flashbacks.

That was all Bucky would get everytime he closed his eyes for even 5 seconds. Something new would pop up and shake him, he'd be so deep in his own fears that sometimes he'd see them infront of him. Like he was back in his memories, trapped in his own mind for the millionth time. It wasn't anything new, but the memory was. And tonight, was no different.

You left the kitchen and was about to head back to your room when you heard a scream. Not any type of scream, this scream had meaning, a painful meaning. You knew this scream. You looked at the clock and saw it was around 3am. Running twords the sound, you ended up at Bucky's room. Your heart ached for him, you two have been together for more than a year now and you haven't left him alone in bed, ever. Half because he said he needed you and the other half is because you promised to protect him from these nightmares. You opened the door slowly, trying not to have him freak out. You saw him in the corner of his room, standing up. He was visibly shaking and mumbling to himself. You stepped into his room and closed the door, the sound of the door shutting grabbing his attention. He was quick to move from that corner and in the blink of an eye he was in the far corner to your right.

"Bucky?" You mumbled, taking a step to him.

With a yelp, he crouched down in a ball and whimpered.

"Stop! Please, I swear-" He couldn't even finish his sentence.

His breathing was heavy and out of order, his body now full force trembling and shivering in a ball. He was having a panic attack. It's been a while since he last one, 2 months to be exact. He was avoiding all possible triggers for them but you guess he slipped up this time or had a nightmare. One that activated one of his triggers. You slowly started walking twords him again and bent down to his level, he immediately started to try and fight you off but failed due to his state. You grabbed his face in both your hands and caressed his cheeks.

"Посмотри на меня." You whisper, his eyes slowly meeting yours. (Look at me.)

You could see the fear and pain in his eyes. You could see him begging behind them, begging for you to spare him.

"Breath in and out. Copy me." You spoke softly, your fingers never ceasing to caresse his cheeks.

He complied. Copying your breathing. You gave him a small smile and moved your hands from his cheeks to the back of his head, fingers running through his hair. Hesitantly, he rested his head against your chest, feeling an overwhelming desire to relax. But he was still shook from the recent experience, his panic attack hasn't fully gone away yet. He continued to breath in and out at a normal pace, slowly feeling safe and secure. He wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you to his lap, your legs hooked around his waist. He moved his head from your chest to the crook of your neck, planting light kisses there. Standing up with you still wrapped around him, he crawled back in his bed. He brought you closer to his chest and you pulled your head back a bit.

"I'm sorry, I made you worry." He pouts.

You pout too, but not before covering his face in kisses. He chuckles and scrunches his nose as he returned the favor and covered your face in kisses as well. You giggle as he climbs ontop of you and starts to tickle your sides. It's bewildering to you how he changes from broken and scared to the softest man you know so fast, that's what you love about him. And he loves that you have that kind of effect on him, he loves that you can drag him out his dark thoughts and back into your arms. Laughing. After a while, you both calmed down. He was laying on top of you, arms around your torso and his head resting on your chest. You fiddled with his hair before running your hands through it again.

"Don't apologize to me ever again. I do this because I want to see you happy, I want to see you laugh, I never like to see you cry, Buck. It hurts my heart to see you that way, I'll do anything to see you happy all the time. Understand?" You raise an eyebrow.

He looks up at you and smiles, "Yes ma'am."

"Get some sleep, I'll be right here." You mumble.

He scoots up a bit to kiss you. Your lips molding perfectly with his, all his affection pouring into that one action. He pulled back and kissed the tip of your nose and your forehead before laying back in his original position.

"I love you, doll." He smiles, closing his eyes.

"I love you too."