James Buchanan Barnes Imagines

Don't get close

I don't know why I'm startingnto post 12 in the morning now but hey, helps me stay up and think.

Warning: Cussing, sad, and possible cringe

Word count: 1476

You lost anyone who came close to you. From your mom, to your dad, to your little cousin, your aunt- let's just say...you ran out of family members. At first it was painful. You were broken, you didn't eat, sleep, or even move for as long as you could remember. Those tears soon dried up and you became numb, not a single tear fell down your cheek, you didn't even tear up anymore. H.Y.D.R.As taken everything that they could away from you, it's normal now.

It's part of your expectations.

Now, you didn't think of this when you joined the Avengers. But you damn sure remembered when Nat got ambused a mission. If Tony hadn't been there just in case something like that happened, she would've been dead. A goner. You used to be happy. Actually, genuinely, happy. You smiled and laughed, you became friends with everyone, you even dated a certain soldier. You guys were happy, it felt like more than 5 months of you two being together. It felt like you've known each other for years. 5 months of nothing but smiles.

5 months of H.Y.D.R.A plotting.

After the attack on Nat, you became distant. You stopped talking, you stopped smiling, you stopped laughing, you stopped looking their way, you stopped eating, you stopped sleeping, and eventually you stopped coming out of your room. You locked your door, hiding away from society. From your life. You had this lifeless look in your eyes, dark circles bags. You stayed in your bed not moving a muscle. Buckys noticed your change and frankly, he's become worried. He has no idea why you isolated yourself in your room, or why you two haven't talked in a while. He misses you and there's nothing he can do about it. Sometimes, after this training he goes to your room and knocks on your door. When you don't answer he starts to talk, he knows your listening and he can hear your rough movements in the bed. Tonight, was no different. Or so you thought. The familiar footsteps came from down the hall and got closer and closer, until the knock came. It was him. Your Bucky.

"Doll," He sighed, "I- I miss you. We all do. Steve is in a coma, don't know when he'll wake up-"

You covered your mouth.

"His mission didn't go to well." You could hear the cracks in his voice, "Come on doll, please open up. At least just see your face, I miss our talks. I miss us."

You squeezed your eyes shut.

"Please." He sobbed, "I can't lose you too."

Lose you too? Steve—

He's dead. You covered your ears hoping this was all a bad dream. You thought if you didn't talk to them anymore H.Y.D.R.A wouldn't come after them. You thought if you stayed away they wouldn't be hurt. Steve wasn't in a coma, he was dead and Bucky was in denial. He was trying to make an excuse just so he couldn't break down or do anything stupid, just so he could be strong. A light whimper came from you, muffled by your hand but Bucky heard it. He could hear you. He pulled himself together and took in a deep breath.

"Y/n, baby, open the door. I just want to talk." He mumbled.

Another light whimper came from you, only this one was accompanied by shaking. He was dead. Because of you, Steve Rodgers, Buckys best friend, everyone's go-to, was dead. You tried not to scream. To hold it in. Why were you hurt? This always happened. That's why you distanced yourself from the others, from the world. H.Y.D.R.A is so hell bent on you being bitter that their willing to kill anyone and everyone you've made contact with.

"If you don't open I'm pick locking the door." He threatened, "It's been months, doll. Can you just- God, please!"

"I- I can't. Don't let him in. Don't do it." You whispered to yourself.

Your ears perked up, the door lock was being picked. You immediately stood out your bed and hid in your closet, the closet place to you. The door swung open and you kept your hand over your mouth, muffling the trembling breaths. You were shaking, violently. You don't want him to find you, to hear you, you don't want him to even land a glance on you. If you dissappear now, maybe H.Y.D.R.A would spare him. Maybe they'd let him live. The footsteps grew closer until the door handle on the closet turned, it was about to open when you pulled it back. Slamming the door back closed.

"STOP!!!" You shouted, "Stop it."

"What's going on?! You won't talk anymore, you're keeping me from seeing you, and you stopped coming out your room! What the hell is going on, Y/n?!" He shouted back, finally breaking.

"It's nothing! Go away!" You said holding back sobs, "Please! You don't understand!"

"I would if you tell me!" He yelled trying to open the door.

You were scared. Scared that he'd be next, or Tony, or Sam, or even Thor. You were scared it'd be all of them. You squeezed your eyes shut not letting the door handle go, your sobs broke through.

"They'll kill you! All of you! Just stop!" You uttered.

The door handle stopped moving. It was just you holding onto it now, you didn't let it go. Just incase it'd be a fake.

"Wh- Who are you talking about?" He mumbled just loud enough for you to hear, "Y/n. What is going on...?"

You gritted your teeth, clenching your jaw so hard it was shaking with the rest of you, "H.Y.D.R.A. They killed Steve bec- because of me. They killed him because I know him!"

Silence. That's what you heard. Things shuffled around and you heard him lean against the door, his metal hand resting on the side of the hinges. You took your hand off the handle letting it back into place. You scooted to the far side of the closet, the dark corner.

"Why did they kill him?" His voice was soft, suspiciously calm.

You hesitated, "When I was in H.Y.D.R.A, they used me for their pleasure. Like a puppet. When you guys found me...they started looking. Killing anyone who knew or talked to me. First it was my family, then it was close to being Nat, now it's Steve. They'll find you too. Their so-...he'll bent on making me miserable. I'm trying to protect you! Just go away!"

You couldn't see it, but he had tears in his eyes. He closed them, turning around and leaning his head against the door, his heart ached for you. H.Y.D.R.A killed his best friend, their messing with you, and above all their aiming for more of your family. His family. He can't lose anybody else, not to them, not now, and not ever. With a light sigh, he gathered himself and stood up. You immediately reached for the handle but pulled away once the door swong open. You put your knees to your chest and your hands on your head drowning out any sound, you felt his presence stand over you. Waiting to be yelled at, tears pricked your eyes again, your breathing ragged. You felt a hand on your shoulder, you internally jumped and slowly looked up. You were met with a pair of blue eyes staring right in yours. He got on his knees and pulled you in for a hug, the wind in your ears from how fast his movements were. He tangled his fingers in your hair, bringing your head to the crook of his neck, he used his other arm and wrapped it around the small of your back.

"I won't let it happen again. I swear, on my life, no one else if going to die, okay?" He whispered.

"I-I can't take that risk." You mumbled holding him closer. You didn't realize how much you needed this hug, "I can't lose you just because you know me."

"You won't. I'm different. I swear I'll protect you and everyone else. Just....promise me you won't shut anyone out. You'll let me help. You'll let the team help."

"I-I don't know."

He held you tighter, tears threatening his eyes, "Promise me!"

Your breathing hitched. You gave in. Even if you said no he'd find a way anyway, he'd help you anyway he could. If he's to protect you with his life then you vowed to make sure he dosen't lose his life protecting you. You took a deep breath and clinged onto him tighter.

"I promise."