The Heartbreak Factor - Part Three

Chapter Sixteen.

"I said I'll go and stop around Chloe's tonight for a movie night," I smiled as me and George sat on the sofa watching rubbish on television.

George looked at me and then looked back at the television screen. "Chloe's?" he asked. "You're always around Chloe's recently."

"She is my best friend though," I laughed.

"But I'm your boyfriend.."

"I'm sorry," I said confused. "I didn't think I needed to ask you for permission to go and see my best friend."

"You don't but don't you think I'd like to spend some time with you?" he asked.

"I can't be fucking doing with this anymore," I screamed, standing up from the sofa and storming out of the lounge into the bedroom.

"Doing with what?" George shouted, following me. "You're the one who's always in a fucking stress."

"Do you really blame me though? Do you, George?" I asked, grabbing my suitcase from the top shelf of the wardrobe and slamming the door of it shut as I threw the suitcase onto the bed.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"I'm leaving," I snapped. "I can't do this to you or to me anymore."

"Can't we just talk about this before you do anything drastic?" he said, pushing me against the wall, pinning my wrists to the wall as he stopped me from putting anything in the suitcase.

"Talk? Talk? Fat chance of that happening," I snarled. "Whenever we talk recently all we do is argue."

"We never fucking connect anymore," he snapped, still pinning me to the wall.

"Connect?" I asked.

"Talk.. kiss.. sex.. you know," he said. "Connect."

"You want sex?" I asked, looking at him straight in the eyes as he held me against the wall.

"I want to connect with you, Sammy."

"Fine," I said, breaking his grip on my wrists and reaching down to unzip his jeans. "Let's have sex."

"Stop it," he snarled.

"No, you want sex so come on then."

"Calm the fuck down," he shouted at me, pushing me back onto the bed.

"Don't fucking tell me what to do."

"No," he said. "I will fucking tell you what to do as I don't know what the hell is going through your head recently, Sammy. Tell me what's going through your head because all I'm getting is just mixed messages."

"You really want to know what is going through my head right now?" I asked.

George nodded as he sat down on the floor, resting his back on the shut bathroom door.

"Fine," I said, sitting on the bed to face him properly. "I'm just sick of us always arguing and I hate seeing what I'm doing to you."

"But.."

I stopped him as he tried to interrupt me. "No, you wanted to let you know how I was feeling so hear me out fully." He nodded. "I hate seeing what I'm doing to you because I know how much you blame me for losing our baby. I blame myself as it is so I don't need you blaming me too. I know I didn't want the baby to start off with, but that night at the gig before I collapsed, I wrote a text to you. In fact, I'll read it out to you as I saved it since I got called back on stage before I had chance to send it to you." I reached over to get my phone off the bedside table.

"I'm sorry. I hate it when we fight. I know you're right as I should be thinking about the baby - our baby. I promise that Monday I'll sit down with Lisa and tell her all about the pregnancy and see what she says about the rest of the shows. From now on, you and baby come first. I love you so much and I hate arguing. Please don't be mad at me again."

"I.."

I stopped him from interrupting me again. "I don't want this to be over but I can't go on with you hating me for losing our baby as it's not good for either of us. We both deserve to be happy and this," I pointed at me and him. "This isn't making either of us happy."

Standing up from the bed, I looked at George as he sat slumped against the door staring back at me in disbelief. "We're over."

"We're not over until I say we're over," he snapped, getting up from the floor before barricading the door so I couldn't get out.

"Move, George," I growled as I looked into his eyes of anger.

He shook his head. "I know you're hurt but we can fix this."

"Fix what?" I asked. "There's nothing we can fix. Just move."

After he refused to move again, I pushed him out of the way and raged past him. "Don't you fucking dare walk out of that door!"

"I'll be back in a few days to collect my stuff and Lily," I said, grabbing my keys off the side.

"Sammy, please," George pleaded as I opened the door to the corridor.

"I have to," I said, turning back to look at him for one last time. "Neither of us are happy and I can't live like this anymore."

"Sammy," he said, rushing up to me and putting his hand on my cheek.

"No," I whispered, shaking his hand off my cheek.

"Please don't do this," he cried. "I love you."

"That's why I'm doing this," I said, looking at him as he looked at the floor with tears rolling down his cheek. "It's for your own good. I'm sorry."

Walking out of the apartment, I closed the door behind me. As I sat on the top step of the staircase, tears streamed from my eyes, landing on my leg.

"It's for the best," I kept reassuring myself.