The Heartbreak Factor - Part Three

Chapter Nine.

 “Are you ready for this?” George smiled to me as we got into his car to go to the hospital.

“Yeah,” I smiled to him. After a week of constant reassurance from George, I’d started to warm to the idea of this baby – only slightly though. I still knew it’d ruin our lives, but for his sake, I didn’t tell him that. He seemed so happy with the news and wouldn’t stop smiling.

The drive to the hospital was longer than usual. For the whole duration of the journey, me and George both stayed in silence and only exchanged the rare glance and smile at each other.

“We’ve got an appointment with Doctor Carter,” I said to the receptionist as me and George walked to the front desk, holding hands.

“Name please?” she smiled.

I could tell by her grin that she knew exactly who we were but was only asking to look professional. “Sammy Jones.”

“If you’d just like to take a seat in the waiting room, Sammy,” she smiled, pointing to a door opposite the entrance. “Doctor Carter shall be with you shortly.”

Timidly, me and George made our way into the waiting room. In the corner of the room was a young girl, probably a year or so younger than me, cradling a crying baby. “Hi,” the girl said, looking flustered.

Neither me or George replied - we were too lost in thought; so instead we just smiled as we sat down on the chairs opposite her. I couldn’t help but look at the girl as she attempted to soothe the baby as it continued to cry. “How old is she?” I asked.

“Two weeks tomorrow,” the girl smiled as the baby stopped crying.

“She’s gorgeous,” I said, admiring the baby in her arms.

“Thanks,” the girl laughed, looking exhausted.

“I hope you don’t mind me asking, but is she yours?”

The girl came and sat down on the empty chair next to me. “Yes,” she smiled. “You can hold her if you want.”

Hesitantly, I took hold of the baby as the unknown girl passed her to me. I looked at George as he looked back at me, unsure of what to do.

“You’re Sammy Jones, right?” the girl asked.

“Yeah,” I smiled, looking down at the baby asleep in my arms.

“And you’re George from Union J, right?”

“Yeah,” George smiled.

“Why are you two here then?” she asked.

“Medical check-up for the tour,” George answered before I had chance to even think up an excuse that wouldn’t make her suspicious as to why we were in the maternity ward of the hospital.

“Oh,” the girl grinned. “Cool.”

“She’s precious,” I smiled, holding onto the baby’s tiny hand.

“I think so,” the girl smiled. “Her dad, on the other hand, doesn’t.”

“Oh.”

“I didn’t even want this baby when I fell pregnant by accident,” the girl began to explain. “The dad convinced me to keep it but two weeks before she was due, he told me to put her up for adoption. I couldn’t do that. I fell in love with her as soon as she was born.”

Looking up at the girl, I tried to think of a response back to her but I couldn’t. Luckily the door opened and the receptionist walked in. “Sammy Jones,” the receptionist. “Doctor Carter will see you now.”

“We’ve got to go now,” I smiled, handing the baby back to her. “You’re blessed with her and I’m sure you’ll make an amazing mum.”

George grabbed hold of my hand as we walked out of the waiting room, leaving the girl clutching onto her baby. “I’ll never do that,” he whispered, reassuringly as we followed the receptionist down the corridor towards Doctor Carter’s office.

*

“So Sammy,” Doctor Carter smiled, sitting back down at his desk. “You are quite along with your pregnancy already.”

“How long?”

“You’re just over four months – half way in fact,” he said, handing me a piece of paper that dated the pregnancy. “Normally symptoms start to show a few weeks into the pregnancy.”

“Four months?” George said, looking shocked.

“Four months?”

“Four months,” Doctor Carter smiled, tapping away at his computer. “I will need to run a few tests today to make sure that baby is healthy.”

My heart sunk as I heard him confirm “four months” and “baby”. Until now, it just felt like an awful dream but hearing him say those words made it a reality – a reality I really didn’t want.

“Sammy,” George asked as Doctor Carter made a telephone call. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

“I’m fine,” I smiled.

I could tell, just by the look in his gorgeous eyes, that he was so happy. I couldn’t crush his happiness by telling him I didn’t feel the same way as he did about this thing growing inside of me. He gave me a look as if to say “are you sure?” so I gave him another smile in an attempt to reassure him that I was fine.

“Do you want to see your baby?” Doctor Carter asked us, putting the phone back down on the desk.

“Yes,” George grinned without even consulting me.

“Sure,” I smiled, trying not to laugh at George’s enthusiasm.

Hopefully by seeing the baby I’d fall in love with it like George had fallen in love with it.. hopefully.

*

“I must warn you,” the midwife laughed to me, rubbing a freezing gel on my stomach that made me squeal in shock. “It’s cold.”

“Thanks for the warning,” I smiled, gently slapping George as he laughed at me.

The midwife smiled at me and George as she tapped away at the computer besides the bed I was lying on. “Young love,” she grinned as George had his hand resting on top of my hand that was next to me on the bed. I glanced up at George as he grinned back at me.

“Let’s see your baby then,” the midwife smiled, turning the monitor towards us.

I watched George as he looked at the blank screen in anticipation, waiting for his baby to show up on it. I couldn’t bring myself to watch the screen; instead I just waited for his reaction.

“There you go,” the midwife said.

George’s eyes lit up as he continued to watch the screen; then a huge grin appeared on his face. “That’s my child,” he beamed, getting teary as he still looked at the screen. “Sammy, look. It’s our child.”

“Sammy,” the midwife asked. “Don’t you want to look?”

I wanted to say ‘no’, but I couldn’t – not after George’s reaction. Turning my head to face the monitor, I didn’t get what George was grinning at. All I could see was a black and white blob pulsing in the centre of the screen. It didn’t even resemble anything like a baby at all – in fact it just looked like an egg. George grabbed hold of my hand and squeezed it tightly as he sat down on the chair next to me and rested his head on my arm. “Isn’t it perfect?”

I turned back to look at him and smiled. I couldn’t tell him how I felt; so instead I nodded before looking back at the blob on the screen.

“I’ll just print you a few copies out so you can give them to friends and family,” the midwife smiled before she closed the door on us – leaving us alone with the blob on the screen.

“I love you,” George grinned to me. “And I love you,” George laughed, gently prodding my stomach.

I smiled, but inside it was killing me to see him this happy and knowing that I didn’t feel the same way about it.