The Heartbreak Factor - Part Three

Chapter Forty-Eight.

Sat on the sofa in our apartment, George flicked through endless amounts of channels to find something decent to watch, but like normal, there was absolutely nothing on.

“Wanna know what I’m craving?” I asked. “I’m craving a huge tub of marmite.”

“Marmite?” he laughed. “You hate that stuff.”

“Baby wants what the baby wants,” I said, putting my hands on my stomach.

I hadn’t even developed a proper baby bump yet but it still felt amazing to put my hands on my stomach and know that there was a baby growing inside of there – and not just any baby; it was mine and George’s baby. The thought made me instantly smile.

“I’ll get you some marmite once we’ve had a talk,” George grinned to me, pulling me closer towards him as we snuggled up.

“Talk?” I asked as I started to panic about what this ‘talk’ was about. “If you’re gonna dump me, think again because I know I really won’t be able to cope being a single mother as I will struggle and I can’t even begin to imagine the idea of bringing up this baby on my own. He or she will need his or her daddy and..”

George interrupted me as I began to get emotional over nothing. “Don’t be silly,” he laughed. “I just think we should set a day to tell our families.”

“Oh,” I sobbed, wiping the tears from my eyes. “But we promised that we wouldn’t say anything until the first trimester was up.”

“That’s next Friday,” he grinned.

“Oh, you’ve been keeping track then?” I asked.

“Think about it though,” he smiled. “How much more exciting is it going to be with everyone else getting excited about it too?”

“Let’s do it after we’ve been for the scan though?” I asked.

“Sure,” he grinned.

As we settled back down on the sofa, there was an unexpected knock at the door. “I’ll answer it,” George smiled, getting up from the sofa and leaving my head to fall back onto the seat where he was sat.

“Get me some marmite while you’re at it?” I grinned.

“Fine,” he laughed. “I won’t be too long.”

“Love you,” I called to him as I grabbed the remote and began to flick through the channels again, looking for something relatively watchable on the television.

I heard the door open, some mumbling and then the door shut again. Thinking I was home alone, I began to sing along to Beyoncé’s I Was Here as the music performance replayed on MTV at the top of my voice.

“Good to see you’re still on vocal rest for your recording session tomorrow,” a voice laughed from the door way.

In shock, I turned to see Lisa stood in the doorway, laughing at my mini concert in the lounge. “Lisa,” I grinned. “I didn’t know anybody was here.”

“George let me in,” she smiled, sitting down on the sofa besides where I was laid. “We need to talk.”

“Why does everyone need to talk to me today?” I asked, sitting up.

“What?” she asked, looking at me in confusion.

“Oh, nothing,” I shook my head as I turned Beyoncé off the television. “What do you need to talk to me about?”

“We really need to get you doing a tour soon,” Lisa grinned. “We’ve had a meeting and think if we get tickets released before your new album is released then..”

I stopped her. “Lisa, I’m pregnant.”

Her jaw dropped as she stared at me. “What?”

“I’m pregnant. I’m expecting. I’m with child,” I smiled, trying to list as many different ways of saying ‘pregnant’ as I could.

“What?” she asked again, in even more shock as she tried to come to terms with what I’d just said.

“I’m eleven weeks pregnant,” I smiled.

“Again?” she asked, but once realising what she said tried to cover it up with a cough.

“Again?” I asked. “What do you mean by ‘again’?”

“Sammy, I knew about the miscarriage,” she confessed.

I looked as shocked as she did when I told her just seconds before. “What? How? Why didn’t you say something?” I asked.

“George told me as I knew something was wrong,” she said, looking guilty. “I didn’t say anything because..”

“Because?” I asked, starting to get a little frustrated. “You’re supposed to be my manager and you’re supposed to be the one who helps me with things – personal things, not just business things.”

“You could have told me about it though,” Lisa said.

“I didn’t know what to do,” I explained. “I didn’t know how to feel and I didn’t want to talk about it, but if I knew that you knew already, it would have been easier to talk about it.”

“You could have turned to me for support because..”

“How could you have supported me though? You wouldn’t have known what it’s ever felt like to have something and then lose it. All the doctors and nurses in the world can tell me that it wasn’t my fault, but I know it was and I do blame myself for it. You wouldn’t understand,” I said, wiping a tear away from my face as she looked at me, getting quite emotional.

“Because I knew exactly what you were going through,” she blurted out.

“What?”

“When I was your age, maybe a year or so older, I got pregnant by accident but wanted to keep the baby. I miscarried my baby when I was five months pregnant and I was devastated. I split up with my boyfriend because of it and it was just awful,” she explained. “After I miscarried, I got told that I had 1% chance of ever having children.. I could have been there for you, Sammy.”

Within seconds of it registering in my mind as to what she had just said to me, I felt guilty.

“Lisa..”

She interrupted me. “Sammy, it’s okay,” she smiled, putting her hand on my leg. “How was you to know?”

“But still..”

She interrupted me again. “Sammy, I guess I’m just trying to say that you could have told me. Like you said, I’m your manager and I’m here to help you with personal things, not just all the singing stuff.”