𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐎𝐟 𝐀 𝐌𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐚𝐥 ♡ MinSung

Ch. 5

Jisung watched as his father clicked away at his keyboard, not even acknowledging his son. Jisung assumed he wasn't even aware the boy was standing there.

He was leaning against the door frame with his arms hugging around his waist nervously. He wanted to talk to his father, but he knew that he would he mad if he interrupted.

So, he just stood there waiting for his father to finally look up at him, and possibly have the type of conversation a normal family would have.

The boys mother past away when he was about 12 leaving him as an only son to a single father.

The family had been completely normal and happy until she past away. Afterwards, his dad started working extra to pay the bills.

He started to work more and more using it to distract himself from his lost wife, but even after he got a well paying job, he didn't stop.

He had gotten so used to working all the time, that if he were to stop, it would lead to a complete breakdown of his life, seeming like everything would fall apart of he took time to himself.

Jisung had been standing there for far to long, so he gathered courage to just say something to grab his dads attention. "Appa.. could we speak..?"

The man looked up at his son, only now realizing he had been there, "Not now hunny I'm working." He dismissed quickly.

"You're always working though-- and it's kind of important.. to me." Jisung bit his lip waiting in silence for a reply that may never come.

Hus dad kept working and the caps of his keyboard on continued to get faster and louder, as the silence in the room grew heavier and heavier.

Finally, he clicked one last thing before looking up rather annoyed, "Spit it out. I haven't got all day."

Jisung nodded taking a large breath of air into his lungs, "I might be.. gay?" He said unsure of the way his father was looking at him.

"My brother said the same thing as a child, now he's happily married to his wife with 3 children. What's your point." He started to type again.

Both of the men in the room knew that was false news. Jisungs uncle had been cheating on his wife with different men for years now, and everyone but her knew it.

This was beside the point though. "I'm telling you dad, I'm not straight. Whatever I am, I like men."

His father only shook his head, the clicking of his keyboard starting to annoy Jisung more and more as they continued to hunt his racing mind like a ticking clock. "It is though Jisung. I know you, you're not gay."

"How do you know that?" Jisung asked in an accusatory tone.

"I raised you. You're first crush was Li Ji-Eun."

Jisung knew he was right, but that didn't stop the way he felt now. "Why won't you ever just look up from your work and talk to me." He hissed before slamming the door behind him.

He jogged up to his room feeling angry tears threaten his eyes. He opened the door to his room closing it behind himself immediately after.

He knew that his father was way to busy with his work to come looking for him, in fact, he probably forgot all about it by now.

The teenage boy sat in his desk pulling his notebook from the drawer and grabbing a pen, starting to write.

Nov 14th, 2020, 7:34pm

Dear diary,

It seems like every day my father gets farther and farther away from me and his reality. Does he not see how he's the reason this family if being torn up?

If my mother were here I know she'd feel the exact same way. Everyone always told me how much I looked like her growing up, even my father says that sometimes.

I get that he was distraught over her sudden death, but if I've gotten over it by now, why can't he? I loved her just as much as he did.

Just stand up, put the work away, and go have dinner with your son. The son that's been watching you fade away for the past five years. Isn't it simple?

I bet Minho has great parents, with tons of money that love him unconditionally, no matter what. He seems like the type of person to have a perfect life.

Sometimes I wonder if I really love him, or I just want to be him. But then I remember how I daydream about him holding me in his strong arms while we lay under the stars together, like a real couple.

Could you imagine that?

But I know it would never happen. He barely knows me, not even my name and he so straight it hurts to look at him.

I bet if he told his parents he was gay, they would hug him and tell him that they would still love no matter what.. my father just calls me a liar.

Tells me that I dont even know myself, and I can't make my own decisions. I can't believe he cares so little about me and who I am as a person. Does he not realize how much this means to me?

I actually gathered the courage to tell him and he calls it a phase.. pathetic.

- Jisung

He closed the book quickly and bound it up again, just for the extra boost of protection, that actually won't do much.

Maybe Felix was right about Minho. That he was no good, but he was just so.. amazing.

Something about the boy drew Jisung to such a point that he really did like him, more than anyone else he had ever had a crush on.

You could as far as to say he was in love.

983 words