𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐎𝐟 𝐀 𝐌𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐚𝐥 ♡ MinSung

Ch. 66

Jisung sat, confused, on his soft mattress. He held the brown packaged gift Minho had got him in his hands delicately, as if it might shatter any moment.

He wasn't sure how to feel. What even was that? He didn't know if he should be happy, sad, angry, disappointed or even humored that Minho had kissed him.

It all felt so... fresh. Maybe that was because it had happened less than an hour ago, but still.

Maybe he should feel happy, because maybe this could mean that Minho had feeling as well, or at least wanted to be around Jisung?

Jisung was kind of sad to admit, that even after all of this time, he still thought about the elder on a regular basis, and what he had done wrong to be treated so poorly.

He had always been scared to admit how much he truly liked Minho... he felt like maybe, just maybe, he loved the boy, but never could he say that out loud. Not even to himself.

He hated to feel vulnerable like that.

Perhaps Jisung should be scared. What if Jeong-Hoon found out somehow..? What if it was a test to see if Jisung would fall for it...

Suddenly he was scared.

What if Minho was playing with him and he hadn't meant any of it? What if the present was all a big joke.

Jisung tossed the package onto the bed beside him, not wanting to look at it any longer. How could Minho get his hoped up like this... did Jisung deserve it?

He hated being played with like a toy. His emotions mattered too.. right? Or maybe they didn't. What if he was such a bad person, that he deserved everything bad that came his way?

Jisung bit down on his lip. He wanted to tell himself it wasn't true.. but what if it was?

He eyed the present carefully. Should he open it..? Maybe he should.. maybe he shouldn't though.

He was scared that I would be something bad. What if it was a card that said 'Sike. Fuck off you stupid hoe' or something mean like that.

The message itself wasn't so mean.. but if Jisung got his hopes up and convinced himself that Minho actually meant any of this, then he would be mortified.

He sucked in a sharp breath and scooped the gift up into his hands, carrying it gently to the top cupboard of his cabinet.

Maybe he would find time to open it later..

He looked at the door, hearing someone make their way inside the house. Jisung didn't panic, knowing that it was probably his father getting back.

The man had started to pull away again.

For a brief amount of time, it seemed like he was actually making an effort to be a part of his sons life, but that only lasted about a week and a few days before he pulled back again.

He wasn't ready for that type of commitment. Not even to his own son, and it kind of hurt.

Jisung knew that he was mentally ill, not being able to stay away from his work for more than a few hours on end before becoming an anxiety endused, paranoid mess.

Jisung peeked his head out of the door, spotting his father slipping out of his suit jacket and placing it on the kitchen counter.

Jisung wobbled down the stairs and made his way up to the man.

"Hi Appa." He tried to smile, not wanting to make it obvious that he was in the middle of a crisis.

"Hello Jisung." He smiled back slightly, not putting in much effort. He must have been tired from staying out all night, "You look to be feeling better."

Jisung felt kind of bad that his father only called by his actual name, and no nicknames anymore, but that was kind of his own fault wasn't it.

Jisung nodded, remembering the half excuse he had made to get away, "I'm sorry again for leaving so early.. I really didn't feel great. Maybe an allergy to the food."

He nodded, "How was the drive home with his son? Is he a nice kid? I think he's about your age right."

"About a year older. And yeah.." Jisung paused, "It was a nice ride."

Maybe that was lie, maybe it wasn't. He kind of felt happy though. He felt like there was now closure between him and Minho in some way.

Like a goodbye.

"Ah, that's good." He checked the time on the kitchen stove, "It's already 9 O'clock." He laughed slightly, "Time passed fast."

"I'm glad you enjoyed yourself. Sorry I couldn't be there." Jisung let his smile fade slightly.

"It's really no worry. As long as your safe- it would have been worse if you hade puked on the floor or something." He added, trying trying crack a joke.

Jisung nodded, "Are you going to bed then?" He asked, watching as his dad loosened his tie.

The man nodded, looking sleepy, "I'll see you in the morning Jisung." He leaned down and kissed the top of his sons head, ruffling his fluffy hair slightly.

Jisung watched as he left the room, making his way to the back of the house where he would reside for the night.

He let out a deep sigh, feeling kind of tired as well.

He probably needed sleep too.