𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐎𝐟 𝐀 𝐌𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐚𝐥 ♡ MinSung

Ch. 47

Minho watched as Chan fiddled around in the kitchen working hard to make a nice dish for his younger brother.

The elder had noticed the way that Minho had been moping around for the past two days, more than usual and he was starting to get slightly worried.

Normally Minho at least had some kind of jokes are comments to make, but now he didn't.

All that the boy was doing was sitting there and staring at his feet, his thoughts barely leaving him any room to listen to what anyone else had to say.

He seemed to be way to caught up In a  world far, far away from reality. What could possibly be dragging him down so much?

Chan continued to prepare the meal while he thought. It probably had something to do with school. Whenever he was down like this it was always because of that.

It's no surprise though. His school life honestly sucks, how was anyone supposed to deny that? Everyone that knew Minho knew it as well.

There was an audible sigh that echoed through the quiet room as Minho let his head fall to the table into his arms.

Chan didn't even spare a glance, not really finding it necessary. What did it matter? He knew what was going on anyway. He put the food he made onto the plates and scooped them up into his hands.

Setting them onto the table gently, he placed one in front of him, and the other in front of Minho. When Chan sat down he waited a while to say anything and just gave a look of pity to his brother that the younger would never see.

His head was still burried in his arms when faint whimpers started to struggle their way through the air. At first Chan said nothing and let him be, but then a much louder choked back sob could be hear loud and clear.

The elder reached out over the table and placed his hand on the other boys head, still not saying a word. Minho's breath hitched as he felt the contact on the top of his scalp, but felt too weak to say anything about it. He was a coward.

Heavy breaths and sniffling could still be heard for quite a few minutes still. The fact that Chan had been playing with the hair on his head didn't make him feel much better.

He wasn't looking for pity or sympathy, he didn't deserve it.

"Alright Minho," Chan said while he exhaled a breath, "'Fess up. What is this about." He asked.

Minhos arms clenched more around his head and he pushed his forhead into the table trying to disappear. Tears stung at his raw eyes as he watched the small puddle form through his blurry vision.

"Just make it go away."

"Minho?" The words sounded distant as the phrase reflected off the closed walls of his mind.

"Just make it go away."

It was getting louder now and it overpowered everything that was happening around him. The words deflected the worried tone in Chans voice as he tried to get his Minhos attention.

"Just make it go away."

The voice called again, this time it sounded familiar. He'd heard that voice before- who's voice was that? Minho was starting to doubt that it was even in his mind, it sounded so real?

"Just make it go away.." Minho whispered to himself. It felt like he was drowning deep in an ocean, the feeling and voice around him seeming unreal, like a pressure to the surface of his skin.

"Minho!" Chans voice finally broke through to him and his head jolted up quickly. He looked around for the source of the voice, only to find a worried gaze from his brother watching closely as he panicked, "Are you okay?" Chan asked, placing his hand on Minho's cheek and using his thumb to wipe away a stray tear.

Slowly Minho nodded, finding it hard to understand the words coming from his mouth.

"What happened?" Chris asked, his eyebrows still furrowed and coated with a thick layer of worry, "You look.. out of it." He picked his words carefully.

"I'm okay. I'm fine." Chris nodded, though the words were more directed at himself.

"Talk to me.. what's going on Minho?" He asked, pushing his plate of food to the side, "Is it Jisung..?" He asked.

How did he know?

Minho suddenly occluded, his hands grasping at his jeans. His eyes darted from the table to his brother.

"It is isn't it." Chris said, catching on to Minho's reaction quickly.

Minho chewed at the inside of his lip, "How do you know.." he whispered. His eyes fell to the table again, the feeling of guilt ripping at his chest.

"I always had a suspicion Minho. Tell me about it. Please." He said in a low voice, as if he was making sure no one else heard him speak, though the two of them were alone.

"I.. it's complicated." He shook his head.

"I have time."

"I.. I hurt him Chan. Really, really bad.." his throat tightened and his chest constricted making it hard to breath. More tears pooled in his eyes before splitting into his cheeks.

Minho sobbed as he explained. Explained how he stole his journal-- though Chan already knew that-- how he used him for his body, how he scared him, the way he had gotten feelings and how he was so terrified of showing them.

He spilled everything to Chan. He had been right that Minho was Bi, but it didn't mean anything anymore. None of it did.

Finally Minho collapsed and blurted out how he had given Jisung up to Jeong-Hoon, and how he could end up badly hurt or worse because of Minho.

At the end, Chan said nothing. Not a word. He reached out and took Minho's hands in his, squeezing lightly.

"I promise everythingwill be okay." He whispered.

"No it won't and there's nothing I can do anymore." Minho choked on a sob, "I'm useless Chan! I don't deserve anything I've gotten!"

. . .

"Just make it go away.."