𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐎𝐟 𝐀 𝐌𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐚𝐥 ♡ MinSung

Ch. 43

Minho felt a hand tug on the back of his sweater as he walked down the hallway to his next class-- which happened to be math. In his mind he knew exactly who it was, but prayed against it.

Ever since last Monday Minho made it his sould effort to avoid Jisung at all costs. He had even canceled their meet-up on Thursdays and Monday to come. It was now Friday of the week after.

No matter how much his brain told him that he missed the younger, he didn't make any move to talk to him. He couldn't. He physically wouldn't allow himself.

Minho had fucked up really bad. Like really bad.

How was he supposed to face Jisung knowing that he was simply using the younger for his body? He had been doing it this whole time but only now was he truly realizing it.

Had Jisung been aware of that, or was he just as blind as Minho was to all of this. Who knows.

Maybe Jisung was just as pissed off at Minho as he was at himself. Last Monday Minho had tried to make himself feel better by forcing himself onto Jisung-- what if he hadn't pushed the elder off? Would Minho simply have taken advantage of him like that?

Or worse, what if Jisung had said no but Minho only refused and kept going? I'm pretty sure that counts as some kind of sexual assault, and Minho knew he was 100% capable of it.

Minho took a sharp breath and turned around to see the younger boy looking at him with careful eyes. He only looked for a moment to catch Minho's reaction but soon started to speak, "I want to talk to you.."

Minho blinked hard and looked away at a row of lockers beside them, "If it's about Monday I'm sorry. Just leave it be Jisung." He warned, but the younger wasn't having it.

"I want to have a serious conversation with you Minho.." he looked him in the eyes, probably trying a puppy dog face on the elder, "Please..?" He asked again.

Minho heaved a heavy sigh off of his chest and looked away quickly, "Fine." He said in more of a grunt than anything.

"Meet me in the back of the library at lunch?" Jisung asked carefully. He normally wasn't one to give orders.

Minho nodded silently. What more was there to say?

. . .

Jisung sat quietly swinging his legs back and forth in the seat. He was were he was supposed to be in the library.

It was the same secluded spot that they had done their first study session in, and one of the only two times that it had actually been a study session...

Jisung went over in his mind what he wanted to say and what he wanted to apologize for. Everything that had been running through his mind non-stop for the past month and a half since all of this started.

Jisung had caught onto the fact the Minho was changing from who he once knew. Just the other day he had genuinely said sorry and felt guilty, not to mention what had happened when he hurt the youngers shoulder-- which had gotten much better since then and would probably be taken out of the brace in the next week by the way.

He clasped his hands in front of him when he hear footsteps approaching, knowing simply from the way he walked that it was Minho.

Oof.

The elder sat down without muttering a word at the table in the same spot he had sat in last month.

"So uhm.." now that Jisung was really about to talk he somewhat froze up for a moment. What was he doing? This was stupid.. "I uhm.. I had a few things I wanted to say.." he said quietly looking off to the side.

"You mentioned."

"Ah.." Jisung laughed awkwardly.

"Well?" Minho asked, trying to sound annoyed, but he really wasn't and Jisung could tell. He was just as scared as the younger was.

"Right. Ever since that first day seeing you in this school I knew that there was something special about you... I mean you know I like you but.." he started to choke up, "Minho I can't do this anymore. I'm serious. Everytime you touch me it makes me feel dirty and used like some sort of sex toy-- and, and maybe that is how you see me but it starting to he more than I can handle.

"Only for the breof moments that all of my senses are taken over by the touch if your skin do I feel at ease, but then afterwards its like I have a hard time taking a shower. I feel so dirty and disgusting for letting someone touch me the way you do with nothing in return, but I don't feel like I deserve to shower.

"You might think that all I have is some crush on you, but Minho I seriously love you. So so much. Too much for me to know how to deal with it, especially knowing that I'll never get closer to you than stupid fuck buddies. I facking hate this.." Tears welled up in Jisungs eyes finally.

Minho opened his mouth to speak, but closed it quickly when the younger boy continued on, "I love the way you touch me Minho but seriously, I don't want to do this anymore. Ever since Monday I'm realizing how little you care for me. Sure, you've changed slightly but not enough for me to want to stay in this situation. I get it Minho though. You're straight. I'll never be enough for you and that's fine but I just want you to stay away from me for a while.." he paused, "In the nicest way possible I mean."

Jisung rose from his seat quickly not intending to stay to hear what the elder had to say, but Minho stood up every faster, shifting around the table and lightly grabbing the youngers face pulling it close to his.

The kiss was soft and sweet, nothing like what had happened before. Not even when Minho was apologizing for Jisung shoulder compared to the emotion that was put into the small kiss.

For once the seventeen year old felt confident enough to kiss back in a real way, with real emotions involved.

As soon as it had started, Minho pulled away, still holding the younger boys face. He opened his mouth to speak, "Jisung I didn't want to tell you but I-"

The loud speaker went off over the school cutting him off, especially with the announcement to come, "Lee Min-Ho to the front office. Lee Min-Ho to the front office before the last lunch bell. I repeat, Lee Min-Ho to the front office before the last lunch bell."

That was simply enough to cut Minho out of his trance, realizing what he was about to say to the younger. He quickly removed his hands and grabbed his stuff, rushing to leave the library.

Jisung watched as the elder left his line of vision..