𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐎𝐟 𝐀 𝐌𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐚𝐥 ♡ MinSung

Ch. 115

As soon as Felix was seated in his car he buckled his seat belt, turned on the ignition and did everything else he needed to. He had to get out of there as soon as possible so that no one saw him more than they had to.

Tears were streaming down his face as he gripped the steering wheel with his trembling hands. He forced himself to bite down on his bottom lip so that he could focus.

He tried to drive away, but after getting onto the main road, he realized that he was in no state to be driving a vehicle. His hands were shaking so much he couldn't get a proper grip and the tears blurred his vision on the road.

He cried out in frustration, pulling into an empty parking lot of some random building that looked very closed. There was only one other person in the lot.

He quickly grabbed his phone, speed dialing his support system. The phone only rang a few times before the other line clicked and Jisung's smooth voice came over him, "Hey, Lixie, how'd it go?" He asked, referring to hanging out with everyone.

Felix took a deep breath. Jisung was so happy after spending quality time with Minho. Why couldn't he have that? A relationship that could actually work.

Someone that isn't afraid of kissing him.

"Terrible."

A bittersweet pinch stung at his voice when he spoke. Why was he even calling Jisung? He had horrible relationship advice... he was his best friend though.

"Oh? Seriously? What happened, do I need to beat someone up?" He asked. Even through the worried tone you could tell that the latter was making a joke, but Felix didn't take an ounce of the humor.

"I tried to kiss him Jisung. I tried to kiss Chan." The response came in a weak voice, just barely transferring over the line.

"You what!?" Jisung's voice cried over the phone, Felix shutting his eyes tightly.

"It was a whole thing. Jisung.." he trailed off, his lip quivering, "Why can't I have a relationship that will work? Why can't I have that? What did I do to get myself into this mess?" He sobbed.

Jisung wasted no time in responding, "Hey, why don't you come over to my house? Me and Minho aren't hanging out anymore, and I'm sure my dad wouldn't mind." He suggested.

Felix sniffled, nodding his head even though he knew Jisung couldn't see him, "Okay... just give me a minute to calm down so I can start driving."

The phone crackled, "Okay, drive safe. I'll see you as soon as possible!"

. . .

As soon as Jisung heard the door ring, he hurtled down the hallway in order to let his best friend in as soon as possible. He swung the door open, and immediately threw himself to hug the teary eyed boy.

"Oh my god, you have to tell me everything. Is it really this bad?" Jisung questioned quickly, still holding onto Felix as he closed the front door.

Felix nodded, breathing in heavily so he could explain everything, "I went to get a drink of water in the kitchen, and then when I turned around to leave Chan was leaning on the island; he said 'why have you been avoiding me lately' and I said 'I was busy' and he said 'so it doesn't have anything to do with your crush on me?' – oh my god, Jisung, when I tell you I nearly died! I said I had no idea what he was talking about, but he confessed that he had a crush on me, so I confessed back – it all seemed so perfect and then we were just staring at eachother with that one look so I took the hint and leaned in to kiss him, but listen! He held me back and said in the stupid fucking sexy voice 'you know we shouldn't'!" Felix wailed, holding tightly to his friend.

Jisung had his mouth slightly agape, trying to process, "Why did he stop you if he likes you back?" He then asked.

"Because I'm a minor still! He's too good hearted to do something like that and we both know it!" Felix cried out.

"But we know for a fact that he likes men?"

"Well apparently he likes me, so I guess so?" Felix's voice was muffled as he shoved his face into Jisung's neck.

Jisung didn't say anything and instead rubbed soothing circles into his friends back.

Felix felt like shit. Jisung got everything. He got it all. He got people's attention, he got a relationship that could actually happen, and everyone fucking adores him! Sure people liked Felix, but not the way that they liked Jisung; Jisung didn't even have to try. They all just pitied him so he never had to do shit.

"You know though, you should still keep trying. That's what worked with me and Minho, and look where we are now." Jisung pet his hair.

Felix pulled back, "Trust me Jisung," he suddenly said bitterly, "I don't want advice from you. All you have is a toxic relationship with a guy that is literally only liked for his looks."

Jisung made a confused face, taken aback by the new attitude.

"Don't look confused, you know it. Minho is shit and I keep telling you, yet everytime he hurts you you always run back to me like a spoiled child. You have everything Jisung! Everything!" He took a heavy breath, fully stepping away, "You have no right to lecture me about my life, when you don't even have yours together – you think you're 'all that' because suddenly you got some friends? Who got you those friends Jisung? Me. Me! I got you those friends! The only reason they keep you around is because they feel sorry that Minho is treating you like shit and that youre too fucking blind to see it!"

Jisung's soft smile had fallen away now, into a look of guilt, "Why are you mad at me.." he whispered softly, trying not to upset the boy more.

"Because Jisung, I feel like my life is dedicated to you! If I didn't have so much on my mind all the time, I probably would have thought about it before trying to kiss Chan! I worry so much about you, and you barely give me anything in return, Jisung, – I'm tired of it! All I want is for you to deal with something on your own and not run to everyone else to solve you're issues for you! I'm humiliated, sad, disappointed, betrayed and angry all at the same time, and you won't even bat an eye! Not a grain of affection for me – at least not anything genuine! I know that Jeong-Hoon can be mean, but you can be meaner; you never think of anyone but yourself. You're blind Jisung! You don't see when people have had enough of you! You don't see when you should simply just. Leave."

Jisung didn't say a word, not about to cry in front of him and prove Felix's point. He took a deep breath, "I think you should leave.." he whispered.

"I think so too."