The Amazing Technicolor Love

Trouble in Paradise #30

Jack's POV

"So?" I questioned the doctor, becoming impatient. The doctor cleared his throat, "I'm very sorry..." He began. I immediately knew the news he was about to deliver. Peyton's little hand clenched onto mine even harder. A lump in my throat formed. The silence was painful as we waited for the doctor to continue. "The baby was lost," he said solemnly. He gave us both a sympathetic look. The doctor walked over to Peyton and patted her shoulder. "I'm very sorry," he genuinely said while glancing up to acknowledge me. I nodded in response, unable to mutter a thank you. "I'll let you two be," he said while exiting the room. He closed the door gently behind him. I turned to face Peyton. She sat there motionless on the hospital bed. "Pey?" I asked. She seemed to be in a daze. Suddenly she snapped out of it. "Yeah?" She turned to me, her voice somewhat upbeat. "How are you doing?" I asked her, confused at her laid back demeanor. "I'm fine, it's probably for the better," she said. I was taken back with that comment. Peyton gave me a small smile, attempting to look okay. However, I read straight through it all. She was breaking at the news. The brightness in her eyes was gone and in return a dullness resided. I decided not to press the issue, rather just leave the hospital and get her back home. "Alright, well let's head home," I told her. She nodded. I helped her into the wheelchair they had left next to the bed so Peyton could be wheeled out to the car. The emergency room was quiet as Peyton and I made our way to the front. I quickly jogged out to the parking lot to get the car. I pulled up to the ER and got out. Peyton was sitting waiting in the wheelchair. I helped her out and into the front seat. The car ride home was similar to the ride to the hospital, filled with silence. The roads were still quiet considering it was only around 4 in the morning. Peyton stared out the window. I sighed, not knowing what to do. I clicked on the radio to ease the moment. The DJ's voice hummed in the background as I focused on the highway ahead.

Peyton's POV

I didn't have the energy to make conversation with Jack on the way home so I just kept my mouth shut. I tried to preoccupy my mind by watching the silhouette of the mountains pass by the window. It felt like eternity but eventually we pulled into the garage. I started to get out of the car but Jack stopped me. "Woah, Pey, let me help you!" He said, getting out of the driver's seat and coming over to my door. I sighed at his protectiveness but allowed him to help me out. "You want me to carry you?" He asked me. "No, I'm fine," I smiled at him. He nodded and took my hand. We made our way up to the apartment and quietly walked inside. Sam and Johnson were still asleep and to that I was thankful. I didn't want to deal with their sympathy and their looks of pity at that moment so I was glad our commotion earlier hadn't woken them. Jack and I walked upstairs to our bedroom. "Jay, I'm going to shower. You should get some rest though." I told him while kissing his cheek. He nodded. "Let me know if you need anything. And Pey?" He said. I turned and looked at him. "I'm so sorry babe, I really am." He told me, a look of pain and hurt on his face. I swallowed hard. "Thanks," I smiled and continued into the bathroom. I closed the door behind me and stripped my clothes. The steaming shower felt welcoming to my body. I stood under the shower head and let my thoughts drift away.

~

After a long shower, I got out and dried myself off. I was trying my best to be numb, to not think or feel at all. I brushed through my wet hair and then opened the door. The cool air of the bedroom tickled my exposed skin. I snuck through the darkness and searched for one of Jack's sweatshirts. I found one laying in a pile on the ground. I slipped into it, warming the goosebumps on my body. Jack stirred in bed. "You okay, Peyton?" He asked. "Yeah, I'm just going to get a drink from the kitchen." I told him. He immediately sat up. "Here, no I'll go get it for you," he said. I cut him off. "Jack, it's fine, I can do it. Stay in bed." Before he could argue, I walked downstairs. I made my way into the kitchen, careful to remain quiet as to not wake up Sammy or Johnson. I found a glass in the cabinet and then went to fill it up in the sink. As I stood over the faucet, I felt a rush of emotions hit me. Suddenly, being alone in the dark kitchen, everything washed over me. The events of the morning became reality. My little baby was gone. I felt hot tears begin to stream down my face, I tried to steady my breathing as I held onto the counter but I eventually sank to the ground. Shakes began to rack my body. I knew I couldn't prevent it any longer so I allowed the sobs to come out. I was a mess. A mess of tears, curled up on the kitchen floor at 4:30 in the morning. A mess who had just lost her baby. I felt so guilty. Why did I lose the baby? What did I do wrong? I lost Jack's baby. He wanted that baby so badly and I managed to screw it all up. I didn't even want it in the beginning. I should've been more appreciative. It was all my fault. My heart raced as my breathing became hard to control. All of a sudden, I felt Jack's strong arms grasp around me. "Shh, shhh, come here, come here," he whispered into me as he pulled me tightly against him. His grip on me was strong but it felt so right. I needed him, I needed his arms and strength. "I'm so sorry, Jack. It's all my fault. It's all my fault," I managed to say between sobs. Jack pulled me tight against his chest as we both sat on the kitchen floor. "Peyton, no it isn't. It was out of your control. Babe, you didn't do anything wrong." Jack told me gently while rubbing circles on my back. I buried myself into his chest. "I should've loved that baby from the beginning, I feel so guilty," I cried harder as I told Jack my feelings. "Pey, you loved that baby. It doesn't matter if you were nervous in the beginning. You were being realistic. Don't beat yourself up for that. That isn't why this happened, sweetie," Jack comforted me. I felt the sobs let up and I gazed up at Jack. He looked down at me, his muscular arms still holding me. "I'm sorry, I know you wanted to start our family," I told him quietly. He shook his head. "Don't be sorry Peyton Rose. We have the rest of our lives to do that. Okay?" He looked at me in my eyes and wiped away my remaining tears with his thumb. "Okay," I sniffled while nodding my head. Jack pulled my head back to his chest. We sat on the kitchen floor for a while, Jack gently rocking me. I'm not sure how long we sat there, but during that time, sitting in Jack's arms, I felt my heart become a little less broken.