I'm Not Him

Chapter 44

Katsuki folded his legs as he let the wind blow through his silky blonde hair.

"Is there anything you are craving for?" Katsuki asked

"Yeah, I'm craving for strawberries." Kirishima answered with a blush of embarrassment

"Wait here, I have some in the fridge." Katsuki said as he got up and opened the balcony door and all the attention went to him.

He took the strawberries out and a bottle of fresh cranberry juice he had bought, he got out two glass and took them outside, placing the strawberries into Kirishima's lap before taking a seat.

Katsuki poured out the cranberry juice for both him and Kirishima.

"So, why did you think I would be mad at you?" Katsuki asked as he took a sip of the juice looking at Kirishima.

"I know that everything that happened to you was my fault, but it was never my intentions to do so. When we were in college the relationship I had with Shoto at first was just study buddies, I mean we did take the same major and he wanted the help and it was the same for me. I knew you were his boyfriend at the time so I didn't indulged in any activities with him until one day while we were studying and out of the blue he just kissed me. I was shock and I immediately backed away. I told him off telling that I would tell you what he did  and then he confessed into me about your relationship with each other. He told me it was love at first sight and you made him feel things that he didn't felt before so he got the courage to ask you out and you complied to him, but he said—he didn't know what it was that made him fall out of love with you and that when he told me that he will do the right thing and break up with you and he will date me because he l...liked me.

And somehow he didn't, he didn't break up with you and he just carried this thing on making us both the fool and I didn't do anything or say anything because deep down, apart of me fell in love with him too and that day when everything came crashing down, when we saw your accident on the news, I blamed myself for it and Shoto, he was worse he was so hard on himself and we took a break from each other. I had never been in a relationship before, but at that time the break we took, the break I negotiated with him was all because of my guilt. A part of me wished that I had chose a different major, wished that I didn't meet Shoto or indulge in any sexual activities I did with him, it made me wish that the moment he kissed, I should have walked away...no, not walk...run away from him and tell you what he and I did.

At the end of the Katsuki, we did hurt you and you've said yourself, when we got back together and we knew that our love was stronger than ever, he asked me to marry him and of course I said yes and we were scumbags to invite you to our wedding. I just wanted you to hate me, especially when I heard what you were going through because of us." Kirishima said as the tears rolled down his cheek

This was why, he didn't hold no long conversation with Katsuki because even though he was filled with guilt, he was also scared. Kirishima helped and tried to be friends with everyone. He even got along with Kaminari, but he was scared that he might slip up on the fact that he can talk to Katsuki without Katsuki bring up the past and even if it was a sentence he get to brings out in a whole conversation with Kaminari, Katsuki and himself, then for him it was okay.

"I never meant to make it go far and I never meant to hurt you." Kirishima said

Katsuki nod his head and placed down the cup onto the table.

"Kiri, I get it, but I will be honest with how I feel. I did blame the both of you, you were trying to warm up to me and I was practically pushing you away and what we all need to do is leave the past in the past, I've been doing fine. Shoto was right, he did fell out of love and I am too stubborn to admit that I was too, but I didn't do anything out of the way to hurt him because I've seen it in movies, in novels even when I listen to my parents love story, that you should fight for what you want and I did. Shoto and I, our relationship had too many obstacles and I was trying to fix them on my own, so when he cheated on me. I felt that everything I worked hard for just crumbled and I was facing the harsh treatment of loving someone. The thing that Shoto and I had, have been over long ago, we just kept fighting for something that wasn't there.

I saw how he looked at you and deep down I was happy for the both of you because even if he hurt me, we once loved each other and he probably feel the same way too. I want you to be rest assured that I will put my head on the block for shoto and I can't say this truthfully and without venom. Shoto loves you, he loves the little family you created for him, I even heard he cried when you gave birth to both your daughter. I can tell you this over and over until you are tired to hear me say that Shoto loves you and when a door closes for someone a new one is open. I fell in love again, but with the person I loved first, Izuku makes me happy, he's matured and I will admit that he is the only one that can calm me down. I love the fact that we understand each other and how we play an important role in each other's lives. He was the first person I love and it was the same for him, so maybe I wasn't entirely in love with Shoto and maybe deep down in my heart I have always waited for Izuku to come back to me and he did when I was at my lowest point in life.

I fought for him and I will continue to fight for our relationship, so Kirishima with that being said let's leave the past in the past and continue to live our lives as friend, best friends even." Katsuki stated with a genuine smiled

Kirishima started to cry and Katsuki engulf him in a hug, it was safe for Kirishima to know that the person who he thought hated him was the same person, who wanted to become friend with him.

Katsuki's shirt was get slobbered with tears, but he didn't mind to him forgiveness was the best key. Kirishima had calm down as he laid back into the chair.

"Don't cry too much it is not good for you or for the baby, please be mindful of that." Katsuki said making Kirishima nod

"Let's go back inside before it gets too cold for you." Katsuki added