My enemy since childhood

Chapter 37

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath as i fell back onto the bed. This had gone almost as i had hoped. I was completely satisfied sexually, so i couldn't complain about that, the only problem was that i felt more frustrated and confused than ever.

I had deliberately played short against Thomas. Which might have been stupid but it was all just to protect myself. I had no feelings if love for him, just a feeling. But if he found out about that feeling he could crush me, something i told myself a million times, there was no point in falling for someone like Thomas. Not that i had tipped over that edge but honestly, it wasn't far off and it scared me. I didn't want to fall for him.

Maybe it was just because of the sexual chemistry between us, because i have to admit, sleeping with him was magical. No wonder he had a reputation for fuck around. I mean, who wouldn't want to sleep with him? he was absolutely fantastic. But i would never admit that to anyone.

I moved and felt how his cum had started to harden on my stomach. My god, i must look like a whore lying naked on the bed, squirted and pumped out, i thought, laughing out of self-pity. What the hell was i doing?

But it was good that he had at least thought a little about safety which I hadn't done and didn't inject inside me, although that wasn't what worried me, i was on the pill, but we hadn't used a condom, not any of the times, so maybe i should go to the hospital and get tested. Who knows how many he has slept with without protection? i didn't want to directly ask him but the last thing i wanted was to get an STD, so disgusting!

But that was something i had to deal with another time, i thought and sat up on the edge of the bed while running my fingers through my hair. Just as well to take a shower right now, it didn't feel very fresh to try to dry myself off and then put on a shirt, i didn't want to be immediately exposed because i stank of having just been fucked.

I wiped off the worst of it with my shirt that was on the floor and threw it straight into the laundry basket before putting on my dressing gown. Slowly i opened the door and carefully stuck my head out. Dark and not a sound in the whole upstairs. With quick steps i hurried into the bathroom and exhaled.

When the water started running i couldn't help thinking back to me and Thomas in the shower at school, it had been almost a week now. Would anything ever be the same after what happened between us? PE definitely wouldn't be and maybe not my room either. It bothered me a little that he had searched so deeply inside me. There was never going to be anything between us and i didn't want that either. It was just sex between two people who had crazy good chemistry, nothing else...

I closed my eyes as the heat from the water washed over me. Exactly what i needed, not only to get clean but to gather my thoughts. I guessed everyone was still down there, or maybe Thomas had left. Just as well, i thought and quickly washed myself off.

When i was done and had dried my hair, i hurried back to my room, looked for new clothes and mentally braced myself for what might happen when i went back downstairs. Did anyone suspect anything? has anyone heard us? i know we tried to be as quiet as possible but you didn't think much in such a situation so maybe we had been louder than we thought. It would be far more embarrassing if someone heard us, i would literally die, than if they just guessed because if they just suspected something i could always deny it.

I took a deep breath and took a quick look in the mirror before leaving my room, even though i didn't really want to leave my room, i couldn't stay there for the rest of the night. Not that i think brooke would care, she was busy with Alex, but if Thomas was still there and i didn't come down, then maybe he would start to think that it had meant something to me. Which it had, but he didn't need to know that.

I took silent steps down the stairs and felt my stomach flutter. What if it had meant something to him too? yeah, right. Come on Y/n, stop dreaming, i thought and snorted.

I heard the movie was still on so i went out to the kitchen to get something to drink. But what if he felt something more for me? if so, what would that mean?

With a light shake of the head i tried to get rid of the annoying thoughts. Thomas didn't have feelings for me, i was just one of the many girls he fucked. One of the girls i absolutely did not want to be. One of the girls who starts to change his mind and maybe it was things like that made me want to hate him. He made one start to doubt. I knew what he was like and yet i was now standing in the kitchen wondering if he might have feelings for me, so pathetic!

Irritated, i took the glass of water and walked away towards the living room. Now it was over and we could go on just as before, i could hate him and he could hate me, the way it had always been.

My resolve to hate Thomas shattered when i entered the living room and saw him sitting in the same place as before. Bloody hell! why does he have to be so fucking handsome? why hadn't i seen it before? sure he was good looking but now he was just as damn good looking as Kylie and all the other girls at school described him.

"There you are! But what have you done? Have you showered?" Brooke asked in surprise, interrupting my rambling thoughts.

"Uh yeah" i mumbled and walked over and sat between the guys again, making sure to sit right in the middle with my eyes straight ahead.

"Why?" she continued with a laugh.

"Beacuse i was freezing" i said quickly and cleared my throat.

"You should have told me, i could have warmed you" Jake said teasingly, leaning in close to me so i automatically fell into Thomas.

"Shut up" Thomas said harshly and i could feel how he tensed his body. It would only make sense that there was a fight in the middle of everything as well.

"What the hell is your problem Jake? None of you idiots should touch her!" Dylan snarled so i raised my eyebrows slightly in amusement and felt my cheeks heat up. He would just know.

"Chill, i'm just messing with her" Jake muttered not entirely believably but leaned against the other side of the couch again.

I glanced at Thomas, who was now sitting with his eyes fixed on the film. However, i couldn't help but see the small smile that tugged at the corner of his mouth. He had probably thought exactly the same thing as me about Jake's words, i thought as my cheeks heated up and without me really having time to react, Thomas put the blanket back over my stretched legs.

"What are you doing?" i whispered, meeting his gaze.

"So you don't freeze" he said lightly but with a twinkle in his eye. Mhmm..

I rolled my eyes but couldn't stop the butterflies fluttering in my stomach. Oh my god, what was going on between us anyway?

"You smell good, what is it....vanilla?" he continued in a whisper with a courtly tone, i knew exactly what he was thinking and he knew exactly what scent it was.

"Lemon" i whispered briefly but had to bite my tongue to keep from giggling.

To make me even more confused or rather surprised, i froze when i felt Thomas grab my hand under the blanket before entwining our fingers together.

I cleared my throat and kept my eyes fixed on the film, which i now had no idea what it was about. He hugged my hand lightly and i felt a warmth spread throughout my body.

Both my heart and my mind were racing but i didn't want to make a big deal out of it, but if i had wondered what i was doing, the big question would probably be, what the hell was he doing?