My enemy since childhood

Chapter 106

Christmas eve morning. I can't believe it's already christmas eve. I squirmed under the covers as i heard christmas music flowed through the house. Every goddamn year, my mom would get up and turn on christmas music way too early in the morning.

We didn't have any direct traditions at christmas, usually it was just me, my mum and Dylan. Some years grandma and grandpa had come to us but this year they had gone on a trip instead and quite honestly, it felt nice. This year i didn't want to have to meet more people than necessary and i, under these circumstances, had to call grandma and grandpa people.

Quietly i just lay there listening to the music that sounded around me. I used to love christmas. There was a lot i used to love before it ended with Thomas.

Although, today i wouldn't think about him. Last night i had actually been able to fall asleep without crying myself to sleep and i would continue to do that.

As if on pure automaticity, i reached out to the bedside table to pick up my phone, which of course was not there. I hadn't bought a new phone yet, it had been a week and honestly i didn't miss it that much anymore. Okay, it was lie but maybe i would get a new one during the midday sale.

As the notes of 'a white christmas' echoed between the walls, i looked out at the white blanket of snow outside the window. I quickly sat up and threw my legs over the edge of the bed. It was christmas and i had been in my bed for a week so now that was enough.

I put on my nicest sweatpants and the sweater Brooke gave me. It was just such a fuck off day today.

When i opened the bedroom door i could smell all the wonderful christmas smells so i closed my eyes and took a deep breath. Sure, there were only three of us in the family, but mom never skiped anything when it came to christmas. For the first time in a long time, i felt a tickle in my stomach as i walked down the stairs and into the kitchen.

"Merry Christmas" i said and hugged mother who was standing by the stove stirring a pot of crackers.

"Merry Christmas, it's great that you are up. Can you help me bake the lusse buns? I thought i would have time to finish everything before Donald Duck."

"Sure" i said and walked over to the overflowing bowl of dough.

I felt a warmth rise in my chest when i glanced at my mom who was humming to the music while she stirred in the pans. What a woman she was, i wanted to be just like her, i thought proudly and poured the dough out on the counter.

After about an hour Dylan came down to the kitchen wearing only sweatpants and nothing else. I raised my eyebrows in question as he grabbed one of my freshly baked lusse buns.

"We are going to eat them for Kalle" i said and crossed my arms over my chest.

"Uh, i'm hungry plus you have like a million more, how many do you think we can eat?" He said and took two more so i just shook my head.

"Are you staying home all day or are you going to Brooke's?" asked mom, putting a form of Jansson's temptation into the oven.

"I was talking to the guys and we thought we would go and play some hockey, just one game" Dylan said with his mouth full of lusseballs.

"Okay, when?" mom continued, leaning one hip against the sink with her arms crossed.

"Like at eleven so yeah, in half an hour."