My enemy since childhood

Chapter 98

"Would you like something?" Thomas asked, turning his gaze to me.

"Uh, maybe something to drink," i said, leaning against the sink.

I couldn't let go of what just happened, why didn't he want me to meet his family? or did i magnify it in my head just like usual.

"What's on your mind?" he asked, making me wince.

I met his gaze and then the can he held out.

"Nothing" i mumbled taking the drink from his hand.

"Are you sure?" he asked, taking a step towards me so i lowered my gaze and restlessly spun the can in my hand. Might as well be honest now, my inner voice said so i took a deep breath.

"Why have you never been in a relationship" i asked, feeling myself holding my breath as his gaze meet mine again.

"I have a relationship with you."

"Yes, but i mean before me."

"You already know that, i have never been in love so why should you have a relationship with someone you don't like?"

"Come on, you muste have liked someone? You have fucked a lot of girls, you must have liked one of them?"

"Weren't you the one who said we shouldn't talk about old affairs?" he mumbled and took the drink from my hand and placed it on the bench.

"I know, it just feels weird with your sister, like you don't want me to meet her" i said with a sigh and shook my head.

"Why? Because i asked her to leave? It was just because i wanted you for myself and contiune where we left off.....you know."

"Yeah, but still, do your parents even know that you have a girlfriend?"

"Uh no, i forgot to say that" he muttered and looked away.

"Forgot? How can you forget to tell them you have a girlfriend?

"Why do you care? I know you are my girlfriend and everyone at school knows i have a girlfriend. So what do you really want? That i would yell out to the whole world that i have a girlfriend? Is the word girlfriend only thing that matters to you?" he growled and took a step back making my eyes narrow.

"That's not what i meant, you know that" i said, somewhat shaken.

"Then what do you mean? Why do you care if my parents know if we are together or not? We have only been together like a week, as you pointed out so clearly this morning."

"What i pointed out? We have only been together for a week so why are you getting so mad? I was just wondering if you had told us about us, which apparently you haven't, so just let it go! I mean, why are you making a so big of a deal of it? It was just a simple question" i said, grabbing the drink again.

I felt the anger bubbling up in my body. What a bad mood he was all of a sudden, i thought annoyed and opened the drink. With slow sips i glanced at Thomas who stood staring into nothingness.

"I got a text from Jake, they are here soon" he said shortly so i sat the drink down my throat.

"Jake? You drive your sister away but Jake and the gang get to come here?"

"It's my house, isn't it?" he said sourly, clenching his jaws.

"What the hell is wrong with you?"

"Nothing, you can stay or go, i don't care" he said, clearing his throat.

My heart literally stopped in my chest. In shock, i shook my head and put the drink back on the bench with a hard thud. If he wanted to be angry, i wasn't going to stand here and listen, he was the one with the problem, not me!

"I don't know why you are acting like a fucking idiot right now and since you don't care, i'm leaving" i said quickly turning around.

I can feel the tears burning behind my eyes when i tore the jacket on.

"Y/n" i heard him say but i just shook my head as the shoes messed up, damn it! i just wanted to get out of here.

"Y/n, i'm sorry" Thomas said grabbing my arm.

"Don't touch me" i hissed sobbing.

"As you so clearly pointed out, you don't care!" i interrupted and yanked my arm away.

"Don't go, please, i don't know why i said that" he pleaded but i just shook my head.

"Then i will make it so easy for you. You are scared, you are so fucking scared of this relationship thing. You are terrified of being hurt so you hurt others instead as a fucking defense mechanism. I don't care if you are going to tell your parents about us or not, that's up to you, but don't think i'm going to stand here and listen to your fucking bullshit!"

I was breathing so hard that my breathing was the only thing that was heard when Thomas remained completely silent. Trembling, i straightened the bag before giving Thomas one last look and turning around.

"Are.....are you breaking up?" he mumbled so i closed my eyes.

"Is that what a relationship is to you? That it can be great one moment but as soon as you get mad or arguing, you should break up?" i asked and turned slowly towards the door, i couldn't look at him, if i met his gaze i would probably break down.

"I.....i don't know" he whispered so i closed my eyes again.

"Think about it then" i said breathlessly and opened the front door.

With quick steps i hurried to the bus. I couldn't stop the tears that were coming, i was both sad and angry. It wasn't over between us but if Thomas didn't understand what a relationship was all about. Well, what could i do? but no, i wouldn't think so, he was angry and i was angry, there was nothing strange about it. You argued and then got back together.

It felt like the lump in my stomach was going to explode when i got on the bus. If it was over i would literally die. I was in love with Thomas, i fucking love Thomas. Damn it! with a shaky breath, i picked up the phone but forced myself to swallow the cry. Nothing, not a call or text. He just let me walk away.

I bit my lip, i wasn't going to cry, no more than I already did, so i quickly put my phone away and leaned against the seat.

Everything flowed on as if in a trance until i finally arrived at my own station. With a deep sigh, i pressed the stop button and stood up. I needed to breathe, crawl under the covers and just be by myself.

This is not how i thought this day would end. I angrily kicked the light snow as i walked the short distance home. Only now i didn't feel sad anymore, just angry. No one had told against Thomas before, that's probably why he always got what he wanted and could fuck around like he did without anyone caring.

When i arrived at my house, i as usual rummaged around in my big bag. It was really prio one, a smaller bag. Maybe i could get one for christmas? i thought when i finally found the keys.

It was quiet and dark in the house, mom works nights as always and Dylan, Yes, he was and played happy family with Brooke.

I threw the bag on the stool and hung up the jacket. It was still nice to have the house all to myself, not having to talk to anyone or pretend nothing had happened. I was sad, angry and frustrated, so i thought i would continue with that for a while longer and no one would care or ask a lot of difficult questions that i still had no answers to.

I found a bag of popcorn and poured a large glass of water, there was nothing better than turning on a movie and crawling under a blanket when you were depressed, i thought with a sigh. If that were even half the truth, i would be overjoyed but what choice did i have? Either watch a movie with my loneliness or lay in bed and go over everything that had happened in the last hour until i couldn't take it anymore.

No matter how much i tried to tell myself that i was just pissed off, the lump in my stomach which had now also spread to my chest hurt so much i thought i was going to burst. What if Thomas actually said it was over between us. What would i do then?

I shook my head and took the popcorn bowl and the drink out to the living room. I can't bear to knead, it wouldn't undo the fight. Thomas was in love with me and he would maybe realize that it was not over, that he still wants to be with me. I hoped so, for my heart's sake.