My enemy since childhood

Chapter 50

It felt like i was falling as the lift took us higher and higher into the air. His tongue in my mouth, his hands, tightly gripping my arms. I knew we wouldn't be able to fall out of the lift but at this very moment it felt like i was way too close to the edge.

Thomas kissed me lightly a few times before placing his forehead against mine. We were both cold but it didn't matter. The blood in my body burned and the cold air cooled us down a bit.

"Why did you do that?" i whispered uncertainly.

"What do you think?"

"I don't know" i mumbled and it was true, i really had no idea why he kissed me like that.

"I have heard that you can avoid fears by occupying your brain with something else, like a kiss. I think it was like that anyway, so i thought if i kiss you, you wouldn't think that you are afraid of heights."

Okay? i hadn't thought about the height, although we were very high up. So he was right that the kiss was distracting but the kiss had caused a million other thoughts to spin in my head. But had he just kissed me for that? to distract? did he go around kissing all kinds of girls as soon as someone was scared of something? hardly, i overanalyzed everything as usual.

"Um, thanks i guess" i said and looked down at my ski tips, which i shouldn't have done because it immediately made my stomach gasp so i narrowed my eyes.

"Did it work?" he asked with a laugh.

"For the moment maybe, i hope it only feels this way now because i'm above, otherwise i will stick to the children hill for the rest of the trip."

"It'll be fine, i will help you....with the fear of heights i mean" he said amused so i glanced at him and could see from his smile what he meant. Making out every time we rode the lift maybe wasn't such a stupid idea after all or it just was.

"I don't know if it's a good idea for us to continue sharing a lift after what happened on the bus" i said and cleared my throat.

"What do you mean? That we were sleeping?"

"Uh yes? You saw for yourself what looks we got, i can't stand any trouble."

"Eh, what the hell is there to care? Dylan fucks your best friend so why shouldn't his best friend get to fuck his sister?"

His words literally made me wince. Thank goodness we were high up in the air where no one could hear us. A good thing about this hell ride

"I don't really think he sees it that way, besides he and brooke are in love and together. It's a whole other thing than just fucking."

"Is that really it? Of course they are making out with each other all the time, but in the big picture, they fuck like anyone else."

"But please, i didn't want to talk about my brother fucking my best friend. I probably have a lot of disgusting images in my head and would like to avoid getting any more."

"Sure, what are we going to talk about then? That you and i are going to fuck?" he said with a laugh that made me gasp.

"Are you serious? We are not going to sleep with each other anymore."

"Why not?" he asked shortly. Could he seriously not figure it out?

"Beacuse it just creates problems. Dylan would kill you and Kylie would kill me if they found out."

"Why would kylie kill you? She has nothing to do with this?"

"No? Haven't you realized that she is so in love with you?"

I looked up questioningly as he started to laugh.

"Was it funny, or?" i grumbled.

"Yeah actually. But both you and i know that i will never sleep with her or develop any feelings for her so what does it matter if she's in love with me? I'm not interested."

"To her it matters, i'm her friend and how can you be so sure of that? She's a girl, you can't have missed that right?"

"Just because she's a girl doesn't mean i'm going to sleep with her."

"No? It doesn't seem to have stopped you before" i mumbled. How long would we have to sit in this damn lift?

"Are you jealous?" he asked seriously, turning more towards me so our skis collided.

"No, i just don't understand why you would not sleep with Kylie, she is beautiful and wants nothing more than to sleep with you!"

As soon as the words had left my lips i regretted it. I wouldn't have said that. Partly because my anger had taken over but mostly because it was the jealousy that spoke. I really couldn't stand the thought of Thomas and Kylie together.

"I'm not interested in sleeping with her but if it's that important to you then sure, like you say, she's more than willing so it's an easy fuck" he said harshly and turned away from me. Bloody hell! this had gone wrong in so many ways.

"Thomas-"

"You know, i don't understand you. We have had great sex and now all of a sudden you don't want to sleep anymore but want me to fuck one of your best friends? You're fucking dumber than i thought" he interrupted angrily and straightened the skis.

Before i could answer, or maybe explain, he got off the lift and i quickly realized that we were at the top. What should i do now so as not to embarrass myself to the max? i rushed to the edge, i had about five seconds before i would end up in the safety net.

With a small kick the skis made contact with the snow and i slid off in the wrong direction. I really should have stuck to the children's hill, i thought and was close to bursting into tears. Not because i was on the wrong side of the air, there was a slope there too, but how mine and Thomas's conversation ended.

Of course i didn't mean that i wanted him to sleep with Kylie and if he did, just because he was angry, my heart would break. I had thought after the kiss that we had somehow found our way back to each other after what had happened on the bus. I had even considered apologizing for what i had said. Even if it was true, it was shitty. And as stupid as i was, i had let jealousy get the better of my feelings and said something even more stupid.

I stood on top and wiped my cheeks. This was not how i thought the first run would go. I had even started to fantasize about me and Thomas going down together. He was good and i was a living disaster on two legs. Instead i was now all alone, Brooke and Dylan had probably already managed to go down once. I didn't want to meet Kylie and Lizzy, the same went for Jake and Will, wherever they were.

The only one i could have gone with was Thomas, who was now gone too. Always this damn karma that managed to hit me. Was it my own fault? yes, that time actually was. If only i could have kept my mouth shut, i would have gone with Thomas now, the only person i wanted to go with.

The anger bubbled up in my body again, i couldn't stand up here on the mountain and laugh. It definitely wasn't going to help me get down. I had gone up and as i said to Brooke, you always come down.

It was just a matter of hoping i have all my legs intact, then i get back to the hotel and start a hot bath. It was exactly what i needed, a hot bath and falling asleep believing that tomorrow would be a fresh start in every way.