Fifty Shades Of Jeon || Jikook ✅ (18+) Book 1

73

JIMIN POV

"Is it okay if I take my lunch now?" I ask tentatively.

He gazes up at me and his scowl deepens.

"If you must." he snaps.

"Forty-five minutes, make up the time you lost this morning."

"Can I ask you something?"

"What?"

"You seem, kind of out of sorts today."

"Have I done something to offend you?"

He blinks at me momentarily. "I don't think I'm in the mood to list your misdemeanors right now."

"I'm busy." He continues to stare at his computer screen, effectively dismissing me.

Whoa... What have I done?

I turn and leave his office and for a moment I think I'm going to cry.

Why has he taken such a sudden and intense dislike to me?

A very unwelcome idea pops into my head but I ignore it.

I don't need his shit right now, I have enough of my own.

I head out of the building to the nearby Starbucks, order a latte and sit down in the window.

Taking my iPod from my purse, I plug my headphones in.

I choose a song haphazardly and press repeat so it will play over and over again.

I need music to think by.

My mind drifts.

Jungkook the sadist.

Jungkook the submissive.

Jungkook the untouch-able.

Jungkook's oedipal impulses.

Jungkook bathing Leila.

I groan and close my eyes while that last image haunts me.

Can I really marry this man?

He's so much to take in.

He's complex and difficult but deep down I know I don't want to leave him despite all his issues. I could never leave him.

I love him.

It would be like cutting off my right arm.

Right now, I have never felt so alive, so vital.

I've encountered all manner of perplex-ing, profound feelings and new experiences since I met him.

It's never a dull moment with Fifty.

Looking back on my life before him, it's as if everything was in black and white like Joon's pictures.

Now my whole world is in rich, bright, saturated color.

I am soaring in a beam of dazzling light, his dazzling light.

I am still Icarus, flying too close to his sun. I snort to myself.

Flying with Jungkook- who can resist a man who can fly?

Can I give him up?

Do I want to give him up?

It's as if he's flipped a switch and lit me up from within, It's been an education knowing him.

I have discovered more about myself in the last few weeks than ever before.

I've learned about my body, my hard limits, my soft limits, my tolerance, my patience, my compassion and my capacity for love.