Yours Truly

64: I'll make it feel like heaven but I swear I'm not a saint

Lisa played with her fingers. The clock ticked at 3:53. Glimpses of the whole night played inside her mind. They were so closely entwined. But it didn't feel real, did it?
She was just craving for his touch. He was just feeling the need to touch her. They both didn't feel the warmth of love. They both knew all they were, was out and out plain desire.
They both decided to stop. Both lying,
"I don't want to rush things just yet."
Well, not completely lying. They both didn't want to rush things into a loveless affair. They would be better as friends.
These thoughts scared Lalisa. The whole world knows they are dating. If they break up, people may not like that. The reactions could just go sour. It's scary. She can't take hate. Besides, why would he feel the audacity to fall out of love? Lisa was doing her best to care for him. Checking on him every moment. Checking whether he talked with another girl or not. She had her own fair share of insecurities. Fearing rumours. Fearing rumours about them.if Jungkook was spotted with another girl.
Jungkook strolled around the convenience store. They both know what's going on. But neither will admit it. Today, when Lisa sought after him and the hugged him at the bridge. He felt as if he was in love again. Cut to, when they were finally calm and collected, sitting on Lalisa's bed. His eyes fell on Lisa's figure. It felt rather vulgar. But his desire took the best of him. He could see Lisa's eyes growing darker as well. He doesn't know what they talked about or what they agreed on. As if everything was a blur. All he knows was something kept on whispering vulgar thoughts inside his mind. But something in him struck, feeling her plump lips against his. His hands were already on her bare skin, as her's tugged onto his hair. The supple skin at the back of her thigh, brushing against his leather pants with the smallest movement. He knew he had to stop. He can't just do it basically for his desires. They stopped that instance.
To ward off the awkwardness, they both decided to stroll by the convenience store.
Oddly enough, this time none of them had that odd pain at the left corner of their chest. The heaviness in their hearts. Neither of them felt guilty or broken. They just felt anxious to hide their emotions.

Namjoon felt her soft lips gently pecking his back. Her warm hands wrapped around him. She placed her head on his back, murmuring,
"Yeobo, it's late."
Namjoon took Jisoo's fist into his hand. Kissing her knuckles, he brought her closer to him. Facing her. So that their eyes meet. He gently brushed away the strands of hair on her face and tucked it behind her ears. He whispered, almost,
"Soo, do you think Jungkook would forgive me? He was more than my own dongsaeng to me. We have been together since ages. I was his idol, as if. I've seen him grow in front of my own eyes. And today, I hit him. I hit him with my own hands. Would he ever forgive me for it? Jisoo, you don't know, how much I want to call him up and say that I'm sorry. But I'm scared. I'm scared that he won't be the same to me. Like before. Have I lost my dongsaeng forever, Jisoo-ya? Have I?"
His tears shone like diamonds. And it hurt her. It stabbed her as if. Her hands cupping his cold face as her thumbs brushed the tears away,
"Namjoon-ah, Jungkook will forever stay your dongsaeng. Nothing will come in between you guys. No one will come in between you guys. It's late, Jagiya. Tomorrow, you can reconcile with Jungkook, properly. Let's go."
Even though, Jisoo dragged Namjoon to bed. It was she, who didn't sleep. Instead she waited for Namjoon to fall asleep. Checking, if he was snoring or not, she tiptoed out of the bed. Her shakey hands trying to dial for a familiar number. Hoping she would pick up. Right now, she needed someone. Someone who was connected with Jungkook and in neutral terms with her, if not good terms.

Lisa cocked an eyebrow up. Biting the inner part of her cheeks. She stopped in her tracks. Her long fingers hesitating, as if. After what Jisoo did today? She basically can't pick up the call. So what it's her Unnie. She may end up hurting her. She isn't in a good mood either, you know?
"Who?"
Jungkook saw how Lisa's pale face had hints of rage and disgust on it. He walked towards her, trying to read her. But as soon as he got close enough, Lisa shook it off,
"No one. Just some advertisement scam or something, I guess."
Lisa shrugged. Jungkook went along too. They both lied about one thing or the other. This felt normal as if.
Lisa knew she was a bad liar. But why couldn't Jungkook catch her lie? She chewed on her chocolate milk straw. This was what her mind was these days. She wanted people to leave her alone, yet got even more hurt when they did.
Jungkook side eyed Lisa, as they walked down the pavement. Lisa was an obvious liar. But if she felt the need to lie, he shouldn't point it out.
She popped her phone inside her pockets. She felt guilty picking up the phone. She felt tired of all these bullshit. She, herself, feels detached from Sierra or Jennie or Jisoo. She also believes that if Rosie and Sierra hadn't pointed it out, they wouldn't have played the game and everything would've stayed the same way. Rosé would still be there. Her parwnts aould still be there. She would still be happy and loved. She also feels weird, knowing that if Sierra had been a bit more careful, Jimin would still be alive. Hearty. He was getting there again, with their help. Slowly slowly.
But that doesn't mean that she can just out and out hurt Sierra. No one has the right to do so. Sierra never wanted to do anything. Sierra is as helpless a sthey are in this situation. Sierra is as hurt as they are. And Jisoo should acknowledge that. Just because she stayed mum when Jisoo basically slaughtered Sierra, doesn't mean she will now. She always was bad with the temper, at wrong times of course. And since she didn't stand up for her best friend when Jisoo was basically villainizing her, it's better to always hold her silence around Jisoo. Cause if she had a voice, she would have spoke. She didn't, means she doesn't have a voice. Simple, isn't it?