Yours Truly

69: I'd hold your hands in this crazy world

Jungkook gently placed his head on top of her's. Warming her cold hands in his palms. His voice was calming her down,
"Si, it's alright. Everything's gonna be alright. You'll heal. Everyone does."
"Healing isn't that easy, Koo. Trauma is breaking a glass. Into tiny tiny shards. You can't put together the same thing and wish for it to look the same. It will have splinters and marks. Healing works the same way."
"Healing isn't putting together a broken glass. Healing is replacing the shards with a brand new glass. Si, am I the only one that knows?"
"Jimin Oppa knew and Taehyung knows."
"Not even your Unnies?"
"Not even my Unnies. I didn't want anyone to know about it. Taehyung lives with me, I didn't eant tp hide things from the one I love. Plus, he takes me to therapy every two weeks. I wanted to keeo all this a secret. But the day I saw the pointe shoes again I just wanted to challenge myself. To beat down one fear inside. Therefore Jimin Oppa ended up knowing. And then, we became comfotable, he asked me why I don't wanna continue ballet. I couldn't help but tell him all. I didn't tell you all these as you had a lot on your plate already and I didn't wanna add more stress for you. But now, after Jimin Oppa's death, I'm scared. I'm scared that perhaps I'll die soon as well. And I didn't want to take the heavy feelings in my chest, to my grave. So I started with my twin."
Jungkook mumbled,
"Thank you. Thank you for trusting me."

Taehyung spun around in his chair, making Yoongi chuckle. Taehyung was terribly passionate about music. His modelling career had just started off. He was gorgeous. But even after tiring shoots, he always was humming. He always was writing and recording.
Yoongi ruffled the younger one's hair,
"Go easy on yourself Taehyung-ie. Today was your 3rd shoot of the week. Don't wear yourself out to much."
"That's why I'm in the studio, Hyung. This is my escape. Besides, Sierra's hanging out with Jungkook. Hoseok Hyung, Jennie and Lisa went shopping. Jisoo and Namjoon Hyung want some time to themselves. I can't just let you bore yourself to death. I'm a good dongsaeng."
Yoongi giggled. His gums out. He radiated a soft energy. His porcelain skin dewy. He looked like a freshly steamed bun.
"Wanna just play some games? And let's call Jin Hyung over. Let's just be lazy for one day."

"Hobi Oppa?"
Jennie whispered through her teeth. Eyeing Lisa, who was busy texting. It looked as if her thumbs would fall out any moment from texting so much. Hoseok frowned,
"Jen, don't you think Lisa is texting too much? I mean I checked on Sierra, she said Jungkook hasn't touched his phone since hours."
They both exchanged worried glances. What were you doing Lisa? Why were you doing this Lisa? Lisa smiled, like she never did before. The blue screenlight glistening on her doll eyes. Her cheeks tinted slightly. She literally couldn't care less what she was buying. And Jennie didn't have it in her to ask her about it. In fear of losing her. Finally something was resembling the old times, she can't just ruin it now.
Hoseok, on the other hand, didn't utter a single word. Jungkook confessed about falling out of love. Maybe he told Lisa as well. Maybe they both decided whatever shall be beneficial for them. He took Jennie by her arms, smiling ear to ear,
"Maybe it's nothing. Let's go. I heard they have bags shaped like ducks."
Jennie half-heartedly nodded. Trying to still keep watching Lisa. She wished, if only her head could turn 360° then perhaps she would've never glanced away from Lalisa Manobal. She knew something was odd. She knew hearts were breaking.

Lisa felt guilty. She wanted to get rid of all the issues. But something in her kept her from doing so. Because of her lives have been wrecked. Because of her people have gotten hurt. Because of her everything is doomed.
She never wanted to hurt Jungkook. Or Sierra. Or her Unnies and Oppas. But in this process she was the one getting hurt. She needed to be happy. She deserved to be happy. He was her happiness.
He was calm. He knew how to make her laugh. He knew how to keep the conversation going. Most importantly, he wasn't changing.

"Two please."
Namjoon smiled as he ordered for two corndogs. He let no one see through his dimpled smile. How empty he felt. His guys weren't open to him no longer. His hyungs and dongsaengs. Nor were Jennie, Lisa and Sierra. And Jisoo... As if Jisoo wasn't with him. Instead it was a pale, fluttering soul. She was rigid, she was distant. She wasn't like she was before. And it was all his fault.
"Here."
The worker smiled at him, handing him the brown packet. His hands burned a bit as his nerves signed him to drop it. But thankfully he didn't. He just huffed, juggling the bag,
"Hot, hot, hot!"
Jisoo, standing in the distance, laughed. A tiny laugh. But enough to give the young man hope. He froze for one second, staring at the woman in front of him. She was his sun. He looked upto her with eyes filled with wonder. She was his deity. He was always ready to worship her.
She felt his eyes on her. And that's all that it took for her to stop. She perhaps was overreacting, but that's just how she was feeling. She still had a slight grudge over Namjoon that she didn't want to hold. She wanted to again go back to normal. She wanted to forgive him this once. She knows he never meant that. But still, she felt the same amount of pain inside. She took the corndog carefully enough to avoid all the skinships. Namjoon muttered, with his head hanging low,
"Yeobo, I did hurt you a lot. I'm sorry. But, I promise never ever to let even the slightest whimper of melacholic feelings graze you. I'll be your sheild to every bitter things. I promise. Jagiya, take your time. Know that, I'll alwayd be there for you."
Namjoon looked away, Jisoo looked at him. His eyes was gobbling up the sunset, her eyes were gobbling up him. How the soft rays of the sun shined on him, highlighting his features. How he took a tiny bite out of the corn dog. How all he said was sincere and how he meant every word. As if under a spell, Jisoo smiled. Throwing out her thoughts, again bruising her ego. Her arms wrapping around his biceps. His eyes widened as his jaws hung low. His neck turned towards her in a snap. She just smiled. She just knew she would never find another like him. Someone who would change with her.