Yours Truly

59: Thinking bad things I shouldn't be thinking

"Nervous Si?"
Sierra glanced at the man beside her. He was trying his best to give life a second chance. She knows. They know.
"Yeah Oppa. But I glad you came with me. Makes me less nervous."
His tiny hands glided along the steering wheel. His eyes fidgeting around to find a perfect parking spot. His heart beating faster. He didn't want to come. No matter how hard he smiled, deep down inside he believed his old beliefs. And today wa simportant for Sierra. It was her first day as Jin Hyung's secretary. It was the start of ending all her part time jobs that were dangerously close to snapping her spine into two. He scoffed. Masking it with a chuckle, instantly. To avoid any suspicion. He wa strying his best.
"You'll do amazing, Si. Don't worry. Just be your best self. And Jin Hyung will take care of the rest."
He finally parked. His hands steady on the steering wheel. His eyes slowly falling on his nervous younger sister. Dressed in her most formal white blouse and a black pencil skirt with the most pointy black pencil heels. Her hair parted and straightened into a ponytail. Her blue dye was finally off. Maybe the magic sometimes actually does good things for them. Sunscreen, eyeliner and lip tint. Fluttering eyes, unsteady breathing, sweat trails. Sierra was nervous AF. Jimin patted her head,
"Whatever you do, don't lose your own colour. Tell them what you are uncomfortable with. Make them listen to your voice. If you don't like being called as Jeong Ae-ra or Ae-ra. Tell them. If you don't want to talk about your past, but people are being nosey, shoo them without any guilt. Tell them to stop at the slightest instance that makes you feel uncomfortable. Make sure never to step down just because someone said so. Fight back. Eat proper meals on time and make sure to take rests in between. Okay?"

"She's going to be A-okay, Jisoo-nnie."
Jennie's fingers flipping through her designs. Her cat eyes scanning each pencil stroke. And Jisoo's nervousness was seriously bothering her.
Lisa peaked over her shoulders and focused on the designs. Completely ignoring Jisoo, who was apparently dying from all the stress. Jimin was with Sierra. Taehyung thought it would be a great idea to let Jimin drop Sierra to her job, on the first day. Just to prove ut to Jimin, that he is anything but bad luck.
Jisoo fiddled with the straw. The ice clanking against the yellow liquid. Lisa now had finally started to stalk the refrigerator once more. She had cleaned the house as well, like before. She also was smiling like she did. Before the magic took away Mr and Mrs. Manobal. Her life was back on a track again. All but her love life.
Lisa excused herself from Jisoo and Jennie. Inside she felt a strangling pain. A pain so blue that it felt bitter down her throat. Her long fingers tapped against her phone screen. The yellow light flashing on her teary pupils. Why was Jungkook doing that to her? Jungkook was supposed to stay. He promised he won't leave. Lisa did end up doing things that were very hurtful but she was in a very dark headspace nack then. She didn't mean to shut Jungkook off and then only talk to him when she needed something. She just couldn't help but do it. As if everything she did was under a vicious spell. Her long nails tapping against the keyboard. Hoping, Jungkook would reply.

Jungkook, I can't seem to find you anytime that I need you. I know you are busy, but IDK...

Jungkook rolled his eyes, locking his phone screen once more. Annoying. Lalisa Manoban. You don't get to decide when you should totally make him the center of attention and when you will strip him off the bare minimum. Two can play the game Lalisa. He focused on his game. Vigorously taking out his frustration on the gaming console. Hoseok cocked an eyebrow at him. He was the first one that Jungkook confessed about falling out of love with Lisa. But surely he can't be serious. Over something so trivial? Besides he was the same as Lisa. So what even was the issue?
"Ggukie?"
Jungkook quipped, taking out his headset. His large doe eyes on his Hoseok Hyung. Hoseok sat a bit upright from the bean bag, as he heard Jungkook's tiny voice say,
"Yeah Hyung?"
"Were you sure about Lisa?"
"About falling out of love? Yeah Hyung. Sadly, yeah. I just don't feel the magnetic pull, you know?"
"Whose fault was it?"
Jungkook put on his headset once again. His doe eyes on the game. He didn't want to meet his Hobi Hyung's eyes. He couldn't. He softly muttered,
"Neither's. She was in her own head space, I was in mine. And slowly, I figured we were in different places. Utterly different. So much so that we started bickering about the slightest things. Her words bruised me, my cold shoudler stubbed her. Perhaps we weren't meant to be. Perhaps the time wasn't right. Perhaps..."
Jungkook tried to gulp the broken shards of his tiny little heart away. Jung Hoseok saw his dongsaeng's adam's apple move before Jungkook's cherry pink lips parted apart once more,
"Perhaps we never actually were in love. Infatuation or a crush perhaps."
"Why aren't you telling Lisa and making things clear?"
"Hyung, I don't have it in me to break her heart. I can't look into her eyes and twist the dagger in. She already has been through a lot. She doesn't need one more. I'm on my worst behaviour now, waiting for her to get disgusted with me. I'm waiting for her to step forward and break up with me."
The windchime jingled a bit. Softly. The curtains danced with glee. Hoseok couldn't slump back down even if he wanted to. He furrowed his eyebrows,
"What if she's waiting for the same thing, too?"