Yours Truly

85: I should have told that you are another me

The world looked too small from up there. The breeze tickling him. His nose was cherry red from crying. He sniffled, it only took him one drop. One drop and everything would be easier for him. He had seen too many deaths. Now he's scared of seeing one more. What if the next would be Taehyung? Or Yoongi? Or Sierra or Jennie? What if... Lisa? He can't see it. He rather die than see someone else die. He rather die than be a coffin bearer for his loved ones. His feet were starting to hurt, standing on the roof top. He was just one step away.
His phone rang. 3 times and on. He fished it out, annoyed of the ringing. To his surprise, it was his Lalisa. No not his. Not anymore.
He cut the call. Closing his eyes, prepping his mind for a the fall once again.
He was prepping himself mentally. Just one drop and... And his phone was ringing again. He whimpered a bit. The urge of talking to his Taehyung Hyung for the last time, flowing through his veins. He answered, sniffling,
"Yeobo..."
"Jeon Jungkook, where the fuck are you? Please tell me you are safe. Lalisa calls in full panic mode, Hobi Hyung says you haven't texted him back. Where are you?"
"Umm... At my place?"
"No. WE are at your place. Whereever you are, are you safe?"
Jungkook bit his bottom lips, and all Taehyung heard from the other line was sobs. Jungkook sniffled,
"No Hyung. I am not safe. I am not."
"Tell me the place and just stay put for five minutes. Hyung would be there for you. Just stay."

Taehyung pushed away the heavy metal door with huge difficulties. I mean, wouldn't it be hard to push a door with two boxes full of fried chicken? Jungkook saw his majestic Hyung enter. How handsome he looked. As if a video game character.he rushed towards him, taking one box out of his hands,
"Hyung, weren't you supposed to drive me back home?"
"Not when you were having suicidal thoughts. We are hanging out, then we are heading to Busan. I've told your parents already. Now, let's settle in a bit."
They made way towards the less dusty part of the rooftop. Sitting down, backs against the wall. Taking out a smoking hot, appropriately seasoned fried chicken out, they made a cheers. Chowing down the chicken, Taehyung started,
"I have started going to therapy. Sierra took me to her therapist. And, I adviced Sierra to take a break. So no jobs and she needs time off before she can again start with classes. I have decided to manage our expenses. Model for our company and maybe take a job. But again, that means she will be all by herself. And I don't wnat to leave her all by herself. Look at everyone that has left us. They are alone, something triggers them. Bam! Done. Even you. We left you alone and you are here on the roof. I just... I just am terribly scared Kookie."
Jungkook could see how fragile his Hyung was becoming. He still was trying to manage everything. Take everyone's worries away. He scooted closer, voice rather low, so that only Taehyung could hear him,
"Hyung, I came here to commit suicide. Weird, I know. I was being a complete idiot, a fool, a coward. I know all of it. But death just felt easier than being another coffin bearer. I am bound to die anyways, why not sooner. I didn't, only because Lalisa called me and bought some time... Then you called and now we are here."
"Lisa told me to call you."
Taehyung was as serious as he could be. Jungkook's ears popped. His hearing became hypersensitive all of a sudden. He could hear the wind blowing, as loud as a trumpet. He felt the hair at the back of his neck prick up. His brows crunched up as he spat,
"What?"
Taehyung calmly took a bite out of his chicken leg. The coating satisfyingly made the certain crunch sound. ASMR. He rubbed his lips with the back of his hands, dusting away the residues,
"Lisa called me and told me to check on you because she had this uneasy feeling that maybe you weren't safe."
A thump in his heart. Why? Why was this happening? Why did he also ask Jennie to check on Lisa, as he felt as if she wasn't safe? Why was it that he wakes up with a clustered pain inside in the middle of the night, to find out Lisa's been suffering all along? Why did he change with the curse, but not Yoon-o? Why could he never run away from Lisa, as if a string keeping him leashed on to her? Why? Why was Lisa his everything?
Taehyung saw the maknae get all serious. Quiet, even ignoring the chicken leg. He gently nudged him with his elbow,
"Eat up, Jungkook-ah. We have a long drive next."

A faint ray of sunlight entered the close cell with all the difficulty in the world. The world around him had grown blurrier and fuzzier. All he knew was Kim Jisoo. As if he was halucinating. As if in the middle of a prayer. Jisoo was his religion, his hymn. Jisoo was his novels and poems and the songs he wrote. Jisoo was the air he breathed in and the water he drank. Jisoo was the dream he saw and the energy he woke up with. Jisoo was his love.
He chuckled, toying with the bedsheet. The other prisoners thought he had lost his mind. He only lost his heart. He stared at the empty ceiling. It has been days since he ate or bathed. It has been days since he was a human. His lips parted and came out a very faint voice as his vocal cords felt rather stiff from not talking at all. He only whispered, as if anything more than a whisper would ruin everything,
"Kim Jisoo, Saranghae."