Yours Truly

67: I see myself looking more miserable today

Her phone dinged and he saw a warmth dawn over her eyes. He knew that warmth. He once felt that for her. He saw the screen reflected on her doe eyes. He saw how her lips went up slightly. But he just poured himself a glass of water. Pretending not to see anything.
He felt a pang inside his heart. He felt his ego ride up to his nerves. How could she? Wasn't he enough? And if he wasn't, as their relationship was almost dying and their love was dead, why would she carry on with the charade? But again, he couldn't careless. He knows. And he will wait till she comes by and ends things.

Sierra closed the door with her feet. Placing the grocery bags on the countertop. And there Kim Taehyung was, smiling at her. He wrapped his arms around her kissing the top of her head,
"I've folded the laundry, dusted the furnitures, made your bed already. So, you can work on your painting fully. And btw, it already looks amazing."
Sierra smiled, putting her heels on the shoe rack. Keeping her bag on the bed, she started taking off her earrings. She asked Taehyung, looking at him through the mirror,
"Where are you off to, my love?"
"Fittings. Have a shoot tomorrow."
"B-ut you didn't... You didn't tell me about it..."
Taehyung gazed up at her. She had fear in her eyes. Her face was darkening, her limbs were weary. He smiled, slowly going upto her. Cupping her face in his palms,
"I'm sorry, my Juliette. But..."
"You won't leave me, would'ya?"
Her eyes gravitated towards him. His heart fluttered in sync with her eyelashes fluttering. He pecked her forehead,
"Not in a thousand years. I love you, my Angel."
She felt the words coming up. But this time she couldn't gulp it down. Why would she hide it from him, though? He is the only one she can say everything to. Her lips parted,
"I'm sorry that I felt insecure. But something's going on inside my head and I think you should know that, love."
"I'm all ears, my Juliette."

Jennie felt a slight discomfort in her heart. All the memories haunting her. How her Jisoo-nnie never went on a trip without her. How her Lalice took her to Thailand. How she was the first one Sierra opened up to, as she was the one fluent in French and Sierra kept on switching between her mothertongues when emotional. How she first befriended Chaeyoung, the girl with the guitar, by asking her to play for them. You know, just as an icebreaker?
She felt a bitter pang of pain inside her. Rosie wasn't here with them anymore. So wasn't Jimin. Rosé always got frostbites and had extremly cold arms and legs. She always wanted to give away her warmth to Rosé. So when, for the last time she could touch her, at her funeral, she held the ridge of the coffin tightly enough. As if transactioning her warmth to her. But what about Jimin? She vividly remembers, when she hugged him, he was warm. His heart was beating. So why? Why was he so cold the moment they broke inside? Why was his heart not beating? Why?
Why were the rest of them not together? Why wasn't she again in class with Kim Namjoon? Helping him out? Why was she not designing dresses for her Jisoo-nnie? Why was Lisa not calling her up? Why wasn't Jungkook texting her about the random midnight thoughts he had? Why wasn't Sierra reaching out to her describing a certain word that she knows how to say in french but not in Korean, therefore describing it vividly? Why wasn't Jung Hoseok borrowing stickers from her? Why wasn't Kim Seok-Jin not bragging about being the best at Halli-galli to her? Why wasn't Kim Taehyung hitting her up to ask whether he should opt for Gucci, Celine or Chanel? Why weren't things the way they used to be? Why was she alone? It was just Min Yoongi and her?
"Kim, here's your sandwich. After you are done, I can drop you home if you want to or we can just watch a movie."
Yoongi wrapped his arms around Jennie's tiny waist. He placed his chin on the crook of her neck. He cooed,
"Kim, you are stressed, aren't you?"
"Min Yoongi, you are going to leave me like everyone else."
"Not even in my nightmares. If I have to leave the whole world, I'll still have your hands in mine."
"You wouldn't be telling the truth, would you?"
"I have no reasons to lie to you. You who are a part of my soul."
His soft lips fluttered on her bun like cheeks. Soft. She was soft. She was love, in human form.

The beef sizzled on the pan. The ramen smelled heavenly. Her hair in a a low ponytail. Namjoon was kinda lost. But there was nothing that food can't fix.
She laid out the dinner on the table. Everything was squeaky clean. Everything looked so appetizing. She called from the kitchen,
"Jagi-ya! Dinner's ready!"
She just saw a tall man walk slowly towards the table. He pulled the chair and slumped down. His eyes and face and shoulder low. As if he wasn't himself anymore. Jisoo pulled her lips apart into a smile,
"Yeobo, I grilled beef and ramen. Come on, I'm starving!"
She wished to see the glint in his eyes. She wished to see him smile. But he did none. He seemed hollow and lifeless. His lips were chapped and his face was pale. As if he was dying inside. And that, my friends, was killing Kim Jisoo. She threw her chopsticks down, standing straight upright. Her palms slamming against the table, the veins at the back of her neck standing up. She yelled, with her eyes closed,
"Stop it Kim Namjoon! Stop it! Snap out of it! They don't care about you, so therefore stop feeling guilty."
Namjoon's jaws tightened. He bit the inner part of his cheeks. His dragon eyes were the pits of hell. The chair fell with a loud noise as he stood up in a second. His deep voice wasn't made for screaming. It made Jisoo shiver, as he yelled back,
"I started a fight Kim Jisoo! I started a fight with my brother. Jungkook and I are going through the very phase where if we do not fix it soon enough, we would be strangers out of the blue. And I can't lose another brother. Get that?"
The tears in her eyes glowed under the light. As if two diamonds peeking out of her gorgeous eyes. She was shaking almost, with her already hitched breathing. The tears slowly waltzed out, as the eyes couldn't hold them in anymore. More tears were riding up, towards the eyes. It was a bit crowded to hold two more tears. So, two tears and then two more and two after that. She whispered, almost, before running to the extra bedroom and locking herself in,
"You're scaring me, Namjoon-ah. You are hurting me."