Taste | Changbin

Chapter Fifty-Four

A loud crack of thunder caused Lennon to jump. Water sloshed outside of the white tub and hit the tile floor. She cursed beneath her breath before sinking deeper beneath the water. She sucked in a lungful of air, closed her eyes, and fully submerged herself. 

Shame and guilt washed over her. How could she be so reckless? Changbin had to rescue her like she was a child. How humiliating. If JYP knew about this, he'd fire her for sure. If the media found out about this, they'd roast her alive. 

"I got your clothes!" 

Changbin's voice was wonky beneath the water. Lennon opened her eyes to see his murky silhouette through the water. She pulled herself out of the water and rubbed her arms over her face. Water ran down her skin and fell back into the tub. "Thanks, I appreciate it." 

"It wasn't a problem. I should go back to my room and get you an Advil and talk to Chan. Did you hear that thunder? Apparently, there's an incoming hurricane. We didn't know until yesterday afternoon, but there's talk that they're going to have to cancel the concerts for the safety of the fans." 

"That'd suck." 

"Yeah..." 

Lennon glanced up at him. He still didn't dare look at her. He had been staring at the bright white ceramic floor. "Am I seriously that ugly that you can't look at me when I'm half naked?" 

Changbin's eyes met her immediately. "Who told you that you were ugly?" 

"Um society? I get it, society likes pretty people. Whatever. I know I'm ugly, but you're making me feel like I'm some type of deformed creature. I know, I know. My thighs are too thick and my stomach protrudes out and my arms are so big and I-" 

"Is that really how you see yourself?" 

"Yes." 

"Did you forget we've kissed a few times over the past few days?" 

"Some people are full of lust and they'll take whatever they can get. They don't care about how people look, they're just horny." 

Changbin dropped to his knees. He was sitting in the water that she had sloshed over the side of the tub, but he didn't care. "You're not ugly, you're far from it. I wish you could see yourself from my viewpoint. Who cares if your thighs are bigger than other people? You could probably suffocate someone between them and your stomach? That protects all your organs." 

"That doesn't make me feel better." 

"I'm not good with my words. I'm trying to tell you that you're beautiful just the way you are. You're stunning and I wouldn't change any part of you even if I could." 

Lennon's shoulders slumped, "do you mean that?" 

"Of course, I mean it! You're really beautiful." 

"But you couldn't look at me." 

He rubbed his face into his hands. "God, this is so fucking embarrassing. I couldn't look at you because I think you're really attractive and my dick has a mind of its own." 

"Oh... I thought you were realizing that I was ugly." 

"No, no, no! Of course not! I just had a boner and I didn't want to make you uncomfortable, I'm sorry." 

"Why are you apologizing? I should be the one apologizing. I didn't even think about that. I was just thinking about taking a warm bath because I feel so shitty." 

"Don't apologize. I'm glad the bath is helping. You seem like you feel a little better." 

"I do." 

"Do you...um do you want me to wash your hair for you?" 

Lennon couldn't pull her eyes away from his. He seemed so genuine and she felt like a putty in his hands. "You really don't have to." 

"Please let me, I want to." 

"If you insist," she forced herself to turn away from him. "I forgot to pack shampoo and conditioner, so I've just been using the complimentary ones from the hotel. They're over there on the sink." 

Changbin forced himself over to the sink. Sure enough, two travel sized light blue bottles faced him. He grabbed them and one of the small dixie cups to rinse the soap off of her. He hurried back over to her and kneeled down again. He grabbed the shampoo, squirted it on one of his hands, and rubbed them together. 

Gently, he stuck his hands into Lennon's hair. He slowly worked his fingers through her scalp. "Am I doing it right?" Suds were starting to form. He grabbed the back half of hair and slathered the soap into it. 

"Mm-hm." 

"I don't think I've ever told you, but I really like your hair. The black and platinum looks really good on you. Is black your natural hair color?" 

"No, I'm naturally a strawberry blonde. I dyed and bleached my hair after I moved out of my dad's house. I just wanted a change and I really liked this look." 

He grabbed the small green cup and started pouring water over her head. "When was the last time someone washed your hair for you?" 

"It's been years ago. My mom used to wash it all the time when I was a young kid. As I got older, she stopped doing it because I wanted my privacy. I wished I would have let her wash it one more time." 

"Maybe when you see her again, she can wash it." 

"She's dead." 

"What?" 

Caught off guard, Changbin's hand moved. The cup of water ended up pouring over the top of her head. Still covered in soap, water mixed with it and trickled down her forehead. Before she could register what was happening, soapy water trickled into her opened eyes. She hissed in pain and instantly squeezed her eyes shut. 

"Shit, did soap get into your eyes? I'm so sorry!" He hurried to the side and grabbed one of the hotel towels. "Take this and dry your eyes."

Blindly, Lennon reached out a hand. He pushed the light blue towel into her hand. She grabbed it and wiped her eyes with the corner of it. After a few seconds, she mumbled a thanks and pushed the towel away. 

"If you don't mind me asking, what happened to her?" 

"It was a car accident. Some asshole ran a red light and smashed into the side of her car. She panicked and spun the wheel. The side of her car rammed into a telephone pole when I was fourteen." 

"Holy fuck, I'm so sorry that happened."

She shrugged, "it's part of life, unfortunately. Bad things happen to good people." 

A knock on the hotel door caused the two of them to stop talking. Changbin got up, "it's probably Chan coming to check on me. I told him I was going to quickly check on you and come back to the room. Are you going to be okay here for a bit?" 

"Of course. I'll finish up and come out when I'm done. Thanks for starting to wash my hair." 

"Yeah, no problem. I'll be waiting for you in the main part of your room." He stood up and walked out of the bathroom. He quietly shut the bathroom door and started towards the hotel room. Another knock came from it. 

He swung the door open to reveal Chan. "There you are, I thought you got lost or something." 

"No, Lennon woke up and didn't feel good." 

Lennon heard the two of them talking through the bathroom door. She couldn't make anything out besides their muffled voices. She curled her knees up to her chest and rethought the conversation with Changbin. It didn't take long before silent tears slid down her cheeks. 

Lennon's weakness was her vulnerability. Being vulnerable with people meant they knew her secrets. They knew her flaws. They knew the things that could hurt her. 

And Changbin had just learned two; her mom was dead and she hated herself.