Taste | Changbin

Chapter Ninety-Nine

It was incredibly rare to see Changbin broken. The guys trusted him, he was one of the go to members for the younger ones. Always listening, nodding attentively, giving advice and support when needed. If he needed help or advice, he went to Chan and Lee Know. 

So after Lennon's screams stopped, after he held her and she fell back to sleep, after he kissed her temple, covered her with blankets, and quietly closed his bedroom door; he fell apart. Falling apart on the couch, tears springing up in his eyes, in front of two of the younger members, he lost it. 

Upon seeing this, Chan rushed over to engulf him in a hug. Changbin tried to get out the words, but they wouldn't form. Nearly choking on sobs, he tried to pull himself together. Chan squeezed him in a tighter hug. 

"I don't know how," Changbin finally got out. "I don't know how...I-I can get the fans to stop, I think, but her parents, I'm not equipped. I don't know what to do, I don't know what to say. I'm trying, but I don't know how to help her. I can't take away her memories. I can't prevent her nightmares. You can't save someone from their past and I-" His tears blurred his vision. 

"It's okay," Chan soothed him. "You don't have to know what to do. It's okay to feel helpless in these situations." 

"No it's not!" He snapped. "I want to go back to being her boyfriend. I want to hold her and love her and care for her. I don't want her to feel miserable. I can't stop her brain from thinking so horribly about herself. I can't save her from herself. The fans, it's my fault." 

"Don't say that," Hyunjin cut in. "What the fans have been saying, that's not your fault. Some of our fans are younger, but we have older fans too. I'm sure some of them have been victims of bullying themselves. They know how much words sting, they knew what they were doing." 

"I had that live stream earlier. Ever since then, the fans have been posting nice things about Lennon. Of course, there's a few that are still bitter, but the positive tweets outweigh the bad ones," Chan added. 

Changbin shook his head. "That's not enough. It's not enough and I don't know how to help her. I've never felt so helpless before. What am I supposed to do?" 

Han cleared his throat from the kitchen doorway. He had been washing his empty bowl. He had stayed away up until this point. Changbin glanced over at him. 

"I know she might not agree, but there's always therapy. I know talking to a therapist helped me with anxiety. It might take her a bit to agree with it, but you could take her to my therapist. She's really nice and she explains things in perfect detail. All you have to do is get her to agree to go." 

Changbin let out a sigh, "that's the thing, I don't know if she'll go." 

"One of us could always go with her if she feels uncomfortable. Maybe you're not the perfect fit for this. Perhaps Han could go since he's close to her and he knows the therapist," Hyunjin suggested. 

"I'd be happy to. I even have a few stress relief toys that I take along sometimes. It might not make her better overnight, but it's worth a shot." 

"But if she doesn't want to go..." Changbin trailed off. 

"Then you tried your best," Hyunjin continued. "If she doesn't want to go to a therapist, she can always go to a doctor and explain the situation. Maybe they'll have some good advice too. Who knows, maybe they'll get her medicine for her anxiety or whatever else she struggles with." 

"You're not alone in this. We're all going to be here for you. We're here for both of you," Chan corrected himself. "We'll do whatever we can to make things easier for you. You've already started by bringing her here, so we can keep an eye on her. When she's here, she's not alone. You're doing the best you can and you should be proud of yourself for that." 

Changbin nodded and wiped away his tears, "thank you." 

"We'll always be here for you. If you need anything, let us know." 

"Anything?" He questioned. 

Chan nodded. 

"Can you please get me a bowl of ramen that Hyunjin was making?" 

Chan stood up with a sigh, "you're lucky I love you and I feel bad." 

"Thank you, hyung. I love you too."