Taste | Changbin

Chapter One-Hundred and One

Going to the grocery store with Han was a mistake. He was everywhere all at once. He gave the list to Lennon because he believed that she'd be better at keeping track of things. She'd turn to the shelves to get something and he'd disappear by the time she'd turn back around. 

He kept picking up items off the shelf and asking her opinion on them. Halfway through shopping, he reminded her that she could get what she wanted too. Apparently, the guys took turns paying for groceries and this week it was Chan's turn. 

"You could get some of these!" Han gestured to the freezer full of small pints of ice cream. 

"I don't need ice cream. We have a list, remember?" 

"Screw the list! Fine, don't get the ice cream. I'll get the ice cream and if Chan asks why we got it, I'll use you as an excuse." 

"Han!" 

"What?" He looked at her with two pints stashed into his arms. His fingers were wrapped around a third. "It's not like I'm forgetting about them. I'm going to get the guys some too. Relax, would you? If Changbin were here, he'd agree with me." 

"You can't keep using me as an excuse. You used that as an excuse for chocolate already and again for doughnuts. What if Chan gets mad?" 

He scoffed, "he's not going to get mad! We're talking about your mental well-being here. He said and I quote 'buy whatever would make Lennon happy' because he knew you wouldn't be getting things for yourself." 

"I have my own money to buy things." 

"Not this week, you don't." 

"What are you talking about? I have my wall-" Her hand went to the backside of her jeans. "Fuck, my wallet!" 

Han placed the third pint of ice cream into his arm and placed his hand in his pocket. He pulled out the sage green leather wallet and shoved it back into his pocket again. "You're not paying for anything because Chan said so." 

"Give that back!" 

"No!" 

"Han!" 

He grabbed a few more pints of ice cream and dropped them into the cart. "Let us take care of you. Changbin truly meant that when he said it. We're going to do what we can to make you happy." 

"What would make me happy is if you gave me back my wallet." 

"Sorry, can't do that. You know what you can do? You can go to the candy section and you can get some candy." 

Lennon let out a sigh and dropped her head, "I give up. I'm sticking to the list and you can just do whatever." 

"Okay, okay, fine! I'll stop getting the things we don't need. What's next?" 

"Oranges." 

She trailed behind him with the cart as he led the way to the produce section. It took a while, but the two of them finally got the rest of the groceries and made their way to the checkout. When they got back into the car, Lennon was relieved. She started the car and headed towards her apartment. 

After a few minutes of silence, Lennon was the first to speak. 

"Are you okay?" 

"Huh?" Han asked. 

"Are you okay? You've been really quiet and that was the opposite of how you were in the grocery store." 

"Can I ask you something? It might hurt your feelings, but it's coming from a place of love. Changbin was going to do it, but I'm impatient and I think it's really important." 

"Oh?" Lennon raised an eyebrow. The car came to a stop at a stoplight. "What is it?" 

"Would you consider trying therapy?" 

"Like sitting down and talking to a professional about my problems?" 

"Yes." 

"Well..." Lennon paused for a moment taking the idea into consideration. It's not like she was opposed to the idea. She had heard of it working for some people, but she wasn't sure she wanted to spill her life story to a stranger. "I don't know," she finally got out. 

"I guess I don't really know how. Everything was different in America and since I've been here in South Korea, I still don't know how to do certain things. I've never really considered it, I suppose. I don't know who to contact or whe-" 

"I've already done it for you." 

"Huh?" 

"I go to therapy a few times a month. I emailed my therapist and she said she'd be open to booking an appointment with you as soon as tomorrow. All you have to do is agree. I can go with you if you want or Changbin can or maybe Felix can. You could go by yourself if you wanted to." 

"How do you already have this planned out?" Her fingers tightened around the steering wheel. A ball of anxiety started to form in her stomach.

"Um...I kind of suggested the idea to the guys last night after you started screaming in your sleep. We're all really concerned about you, including Changbin." He turned to face Lennon. "I don't think I've seen him so helpless before." 

"It's not his fault I had a nightmare." 

"I know, but if you went to therapy, I think it'd make us all feel better. Most importantly, maybe it'd make you feel better. Like I said, I go and it makes me feel better. You don't have to open up immediately. You can just talk about whatever your heart desires." 

"Is the therapist nice?" 

"Of course she's nice! I wouldn't go if she was mean. She's super nice and she lets me play with fidget toys when I speak to her. She's said she's let clients color photos before and they've played cards before. It's just a way to make people feel more comfortable and help them feel at ease."  

"And you're positive that it's helpful?" 

"I don't think we'd be friends if it wasn't helpful. I've learned how to keep my anxiety under control for the most part. Plus, she gives really good coping mechanisms. I'm not supposed to tell anyone this, but she gives out stickers." 

Lennon's mouth fell open, "what?" 

"At the end of the session, you can get a sticker. Not everyone does it, but she does. Actually, there's a whole box she has full of goodies, but I pick out a sticker after every session. So what do you say, Lennie?" 

"Would it really make everyone feel better if I went?" 

"Yep." 

"And if I don't like it, do I have to keep going?" 

"Absolutely not, it's not for everyone. We're not going to force you to go. The worst case scenario, you hate it, but the best case scenario is that you enjoy it." 

"I hate how convincing you are." 

"Is that a yes?" A grin lit up Han's face. 

Lennon let out a sigh, "it's a yes."