Taste | Changbin

Chapter Eighty-Four

"Do you want to talk about it now?" Felix ran his fingers through Lennon's hair. He had been braiding and unbraiding the same strand for over ten minutes. 

"I want the two of you to get out of my room and leave me alone," she mumbled into her pillow. "You don't have to be here, you should be sleeping. You have another concert tomorrow, you know." 

"And? We've stayed up much later. We're not going to go anywhere until you tell us what's wrong." Han crossed his arms over his chest and plopped himself down on Lennon's bed. 

They had been locked in Lennon's hotel room for an hour. The two of them were trying to coax information out of her. So far, they had gotten nowhere. They figured that fans said things to her in person, but they had no idea how bad it was. 

"You two are such a pain in my ass." 

Felix chuckled. 

"And we'll continue being a pain in your ass until you tell us what happened. You have to stop lying to yourself, Lennie. We know how much you love Changbin, you're not fooling us. We'll stay here all night if we have to. We're not leaving until you talk." 

"There's nothing to talk about." 

"Clearly, something happened while we were performing." Felix divided her hair into three even strands again. Nimble fingers began weaving the strands back and forth. "We just want to talk to you about it." 

"Once again, there is nothing to talk about! How many times do I have to say it until you guys get it through your thick skulls?" 

Lennon knew she was being a bitch, but she didn't care. All she wanted to do was curl up into a ball and cry herself to sleep. It was impossible to do while Felix and Han were in her bed wiping away her tears and comforting her. She didn't want to be comforted, she just wanted to be left alone. She wanted to let herself lie in the misery of it all. 

"You're an awful liar," Han pointed out. 

"I'm quitting this job when we get back to South Korea." 

"What?" Han sat up immediately . 

Felix's fingers froze mid-tangle in her hair. "You can't be serious, you love this job, and we love you." 

"Your fans hate me." 

"We'll talk to them! We'll tell them to stop hating you. We'll tell them that you're great and we'll explain how awesome you are. When they hear how much we love you, the-" 

"Han, stop it." She closed her eyes the moment she felt the tears welling up again. As if closing them was going to be enough to make the tears stop falling. "You know that I can't ask you to do that. Your management would have a fit. It'd only make things worse." 

"Just because the fans dislike you, you can't leave us. What about us? We love having you as our makeup artist. You can't be serious! You're going to make us go through the process of finding another one? What if they try to cover up my freckles?" Felix frowned. 

After Felix complained one day that he didn't like it when his freckles were covered, she made it her mission to allow them to be on display. She purposefully used minimal concealer to cover the bags beneath his eyes. A layer of foundation was applied lightly. She always left them on display and he adored her for it. 

"Felix, please..." she opened up her eyes. "You'll be okay, it'd be better for everyone." 

"You're being selfish!" Han snapped. 

Lennon opened her eyes to see Han forcing himself off the bed. Out of all the time she knew him, she had never heard him sound so pissed off. His eyebrows furrowed and his chipmunk cheeks had turned an angry shade of red.    

"Han..." Felix warned him. 

"No! If nobody else is going to tell her, I will! You're being so fucking stupid, Lennon. You're letting other people dictate your life for you! This is your life and you need to do what's best for you. You still love Changbin and he loves you, so the way you're acting right now, it's ridiculous!" 

"Have you even thought about how this affects the rest of us? Changbin has been at the top of his game lately. He's been in a better mood constantly and the two of you have been so happy together. You're going to make him miserable!" 

"I-" 

He cut her off, "do you know how much you eased my anxiety at the airport? Did you know that Seungmin thinks you're the best makeup artist we've ever had? Felix has even talked about wanting to sit down with you and learn new makeup looks that he can use when you're not with us." 

He pointed an accusing finger at her, "and for you to just sit here and cry, fuck you! We brought you into our dorm, we took you to the arcade, we care about you so much, and you're throwing that all away! I get that the hate is hard, we all get it, but screw you! How fucking dare you turn your back on us when we all trusted you!" 

His chest heaved up and down while anger coursed through his veins. He pursed his lips together and shook his head. "I'm going now." 

Lennon watched him leave with tears in her eyes. The moment the door slammed shut, she squeezed her eyes shut again. Felix was left sitting beside her on the bed. 

"You should go after him," she spoke with a shaking voice. 

"But yo-" 

"I'll be fine, Felix." 

He crawled off the bed and slipped a pair of dark blue rubber sandals on his feet. "I'm sorry he went off on you like that." 

"Don't be, he's allowed to be angry." 

"Could you just...could you think about what he said? Please? Have a good night, Lennon." The hotel room door slammed shut for a second time. 

The softness and pleading of his voice broke her all over again.