lilies.

01

Kabanata 1

When I was in Kinder, my cousin on my mother's side used to visit our house to play with. Jennie and I have a 5 year gap. When I was in Kinder, she's already in her final grade in elementary school.

Spending time with her, I came to know what a crush is. If that person makes you "kilig" by just seeing that one person, you have a crush on him. Or when you are happy to see him or when he makes you smile because Jennie is like that with her crushes. That's what I felt with Adriel, my classmate.

He was first seated in our group and I can't help myself looking at him. I like playing with him, it's fun. He is a cute, small boy, I am even taller than him. He is really cute. I like doing groupworks with him. I like how he waved goodbye after class when his parents picked him up and Yaya Sita got my bag while I waved goodbye. It makes me smile.

That was how I got my first crush.

I didn't retain my crush on him. I totally forgot about him when I started Grade 1. I saw him in section 2 in Sto. Nino Elementary School, and I'm in section 1. My feelings for him kind of fades, I have a new crush now. I can't help but smile. My seatmate, Gab, is my new crush. He is really funny, I like him, especially when his front teeth are "nabungi." He is really cute.

I liked him but only until Grade 2.

There's no particular reason why I don't like him anymore, but I have a new crush, our top 1, Echo. He is currently my seatmate. I don't know why I like him. Maybe because he is intelligent while I am average? I like talking to him.

My feelings are short lived though. In grade 4, it seems like I don't have a crush now, but someone has a crush on me, his name's Jerome. After knowing that, I kind of distance myself from him. I feel uncomfortable when my classmates are teasing me. It makes me sad.

One time, he offers me Nerds, the candy, during our flag retreat. I was the first person he asked, I was touched but I refused. I have to because everyone's watching us and I feel like they will tease us again. But I really like Nerds 🙁

I first noticed that we're slowly getting to know intimacy during a mass in Grade 4 where we used to hold hands during "Ama Namin" since Grade 1 but it stops. Gab and I were the only ones who held hands without feeling awkward.

And then we're in Grade 6, surely, the time flies. It is our last year in elementary school. And maybe marked as the best year of my childhood.

In which, I finally came to learn about love.