lilies.

22

Kabanata 22

Lagi kaming sabay umuwi ni Gab at hinahatid pauwi ni Tita Mildred. Dahil sa ganoong setup, hindi kami madalas makapag-usap. Hindi ko pa nakukwento sa kanya ang tungkol sa nangyari sa amin ni Adriel.

I think about it every night. Asking myself if that was the right decision. I didn't chat with him again or talk it out. I'm not the kind of person who will try to work things out. When a person said something, I would always think they mean it. Why else would they say it right?

Another reason is I have no means to talk to him. Hindi pa rin ako pinapayagang lumabas tuwing weekend para mag-computer shop.

Every passing day that I think about it, I slowly realized that I regret it. But what other way can we work out? If I'm far away? Hindi ko rin sigurado kung babalik pa ako sa Manila. Isn't it more cruel for him to wait for me without assurance.

It's dinner. Si Mom lang ang narito. Tahimik siya kaya ganoon din ako. Nang matapos ay mauuna na akong umakyat sa kwarto gaya ng nakasanayan ko na nitong nakaraang buwan.

"Go to the study room, Lily, we'll talk."

Tumango ako kunwari ay walang emosyon. Truth is, I'm nervous. Is it that serious that we even need to talk in private?

"How's school? Is there anything you would like to tell me?" Mom asked immediately when she entered our library.

Nag-iwas ako ng tingin. This is a bait. If I speak too much, I will give it away. I kept mum. I already made up my mind. I am coming with Tita Mildred...to correct this mistake.

"Lily, I asked you a question."

Mommy is still calm. Her calm demeanor makes it so hard to guess what she's thinking. Does she know? Or do I have to pretend like nothing is happening?

If she asked me this in private, I feel like she knows something. What is it?

I looked at her straight to the eye.

"I'm not running for honors, that's all."

"Okay," Her lips in a thin line, "Anything else?"

Dahil pareho lang kaming nakatayo, nararamdaman ko ang panlalambot ng binti ko sa kaba. I can lie, I certainly can, but I'm going to be so nervous inside. I kept a straight face.

"Nothing else, Mommy," I focused my eyes on my indoor slippers.

"I didn't raise a liar, Lily," She remarked. Napalunok ako.

She knows something. I'm never going to give it away.

I didn't answer, waiting for her to speak and tell me more so I can get a hint of what she knows.

"Gab told me you're meeting Mildred. Is that true, Lily?"

That traitor! Why would he do that? I never asked him to keep that a secret but why would he tell Mommy?! Is he sabotaging me for selfish reasons?

"I heard from your dad that he is transferring you to Ateneo de Naga. He already has your documents, did you give him?"

"Yes."

"What did Mildred tell you? Did she suddenly become nice to you?"

"She's a really nice person. Kahit sino naman Mommy, magagalit kung may kabit ang asawa niya."

Pumikit si Mommy at naghahanda na ako ng masasakit na salita o di kaya ay sisigawan niya ako pero hindi dumating.

"What did she bargain for coming with them?" She asked calmly.

"Wala, Mommy."

"Did she tell you about your brothers? That they are formally adopting you? Or they will treat you as their own? Like her daughter?"