lilies.

39

Kabanata 39

It's end of November. Ngayon din ang competition ni Rai sa Manila Polo Club iyon gaganapin.

He didn't invite me to go. He said there will be so many people there. It will be crowded. He knows that I hate crowds. However, I wanted to support him. Kahit na hindi naman kami pwedeng makita ng mga tao sa public ay gusto ko pa rin siyang mapanuod.

He said we'll date afterwards. Hindi niya na gagalingan para hindi siya mapagod agad at may lakas pa siya para kitain ako.

Nasa Forbes ako ngayon kasama si Grandma. Magpapaalam akong pumunta. Inaya ako nina Wendy at Steve at gulat na gulat sila nang sabihin kong magpapaalam ako. Sa mga ganito kasing social events ay hindi naman ako pumupunta. Ayoko rin naman kaya hindi ko na sinasabi kina Grandma.

"There's an equestrian competition in Manila Polo, grandma. My friends asked me to come with them, can I come?"

"Why not?" Grandma simply answered then sipped on her coffee.

"I just thought that you would not allow me to come because we rarely go."

She chuckled. "Try to attend one, Lily, and you'll see why I don't attend. I'm not restricting you though. If you'll like it then it's good."

Hindi ko alam na magiging ganoong kadali ang magpaalam kay Grandma. I texted Mommy about it too.

Mommy:

If your grandma thinks that it's wise to go, I don't have any objections.

Mommy:

Take care.

Bago umalis ay dinaanan ko ulit si Grandma sa Garden. Niyakap ko siya.

"I'll go now."

"Just greet the people and don't answer personal questions. It'll lead to asking who's your father."

Nanlamig ang puso ko nang marinig ang salitang iyon. I never heard that for years. Daddy doesn't even check up on me. Naalala ko rin si Tita Mildred. The betrayal. There are times that I search for them, they're still family, and even when my Grandma will hate me for thinking about it, I still care for them. I still wish them well.

"Just say, it's nice to finally meet them, especially the elderly. They will pry about our lives, I'm sure. We're rarely seen so they are curious."

Nagpasundo ako kina Wendy at Steve sa Parking. I can't confidently enter without company. Galing na sila sa loob, maaga silang dumating. Nagpa-late ako ng kaunti dahil ayoko na nga ring makipag-usap sana. Hindi naman ako sobrang nagpa-late dahil mas nakakahiya iyon.

"Ian Berkshire is competing so his mom's here," Wendy shared, "Seeing you here, they will be curious kung sino ang sinusuportahan mo."

Kinabahan ako para roon. They will never know that I am here for Rai unless Kai and Ian will talk.

"I'm not here to support anyone though," I lied, remaining calm.

"Exactly. You're just here because we asked you. But they will prolly assume that you're here for Ian. Two most influential families coming together in one event must mean something."

"If not Ian, maybe they'll think, you're coming for Skyler Rai Tañada? Your families have been family friends since forever."

I paused. Should I not go? Anong sasabihin ko sa mga tao kapag tinanong kami kung ano kami ni Rai? Friends? Would they actually believe that? Prolly. We're more than friends but less than lovers, how should I explain that?

"I don't even know him," I lied again, "Do you think it's wise to go?"

Hinatak na nila ako agad nang hindi na ako gumalaw sa kinatatayuan.