lilies.

74

Kabanata 74

Gab is really embarrassing me. Why would he have to ask Rai to marry me?! This is absurd. I never agreed to his idea in the first place.

Hindi rin naman kasi ako tumanggi.

Nakakahiya.

I see it now. All the events, Grandma scheduled for me to attend...Rai is there too. It was so obvious when she made me attend the opening of Haco's biggest supermarket branch. Rai is his business partner so he's going to be here now.

I was there on the side when the ribbon was cut. A lot of people talked to me about their personal lives, I nodded when it's due and laughed when I needed to. I am excellent at faking my enthusiasm.

My secretary accompanied me. Grandma really made sure to tell me indirectly that she will know if I skip any schedules she made for me.

The next event on that same day was a private exclusive dinner organized by Chef Rachel Oliver. I just heard from Grandma that she's a well renowned chef and her forte's French cuisine.

Rai is there, together with her sister, Fei and her husband, Denver. Fei and I exchanged greetings.

"I worked for her," She told me.

"Really? Wow, you must be a good chef then," I smiled from ear to ear. This time, I am genuine.

"You should visit us sometimes, I'll cook some of my specialties," She offered.

I decided to stay casual with Rai. I try to be less emotional. I badly wanted to talk to him and catch up but I don't want to give Grandma the satisfaction. She's doing all this to set me up with Rai. I don't want to be manipulated. I hate that. I really hate that.

There are a few more events that we run into each other. I greeted him, shared about the weather, asked about his relatives, and that's it. I only stayed at the party for more or less 30 minutes. I can't stay for long.

I went to the club or a bar to drink right after. And sealed my day with being drunk.

That's been my routine for the whole month. Next month, I think my Grandma's having a hard time knowing Rai's schedule, that's why I'm free for the whole week now.

Adriel asked me to meet him. We decided to meet in Manila Pen. I haven't had lunch here for so long. We used to have our weekly dinners here with my mom and Grandma.

"This is deja vu. Like when you told me that you were going to transfer to Ateneo de Naga, you really left for Portugal for two fucking years," Adriel started to talk as we wait for our food to be served, "But this time, you didn't even inform me. You just go."

I only looked at him with apologetic eyes.

"You ghosted me. Why?"

"You know why, you heard what happened, do you think I was in the right mind two years ago?"

He fell silent, started to feel sorry that he brought it up.

I didn't speak. Ganoon din siya. I looked on my side to occupy myself.

"Is it...enough reason to leave me? I was devastated when you left me here. You didn't even try to reach out or even return my calls. You were gone."

I sighed. Yeah, true. I didn't even try. Hindi ako sumagot. Hinahanap niya ang mata ko ngunit hindi ko siya magawang tingnan.

"I waited..." Nang hindi niya mahanap ang mata ko, inabot at hinawakan na lang niya ang kamay ko sa lamesa. My heart hurt. "This time, ako naman ang naghintay para sa'yo. Kahit hindi sigurado."