lilies.

85

Kabanata 85

I was busy when we're in our third year of our relationship. I studied masters in construction and at the same time it's my first time to fully manage all of our three major industries without grandma's guidance. She already gave me full control.

I have nothing to worry about the hospital as it is well managed by my mother but she is also briefing me on the business side of it.

I was overwhelmed. I cried alone in my lonely office, almost every night. It was so hard.

I feel suffocated knowing that it would not end. I will be forever doing this. This kind of life. I don't want to disappoint Grandma and those people who work under the companies I manage. If the company goes down, they will go down with me. That's my fear every day, and the reason why I'm pushing myself to my limits.

I couldn't get my shit together. Extreme emotions, changes, pressure, loneliness– it plagued my soul.

I admit, I am not the best girlfriend at that time but I am trying. I don't let him see my broken pieces. I always collect myself and try so hard not to burden him.

I can't always meet him like I used to. Most of my days are out of the country. I made sure I made time for him and stayed updated with his life though. I make time to check his friends' social media and also his, and I make sure to communicate with him every day even through calls and texting.

I heard that they are currently hating this new hire in their hotel. Bukambibig niya rin iyon sa tuwing nag-uusap kami. Kinuwento niya rin ang ilan sa mga kaibigan niya ay lumipat na ng trabaho.

On our fourth anniversary, a day before that I'm in Germany buying something for the airlines. I need to fly back right after we celebrate our anniversary. I make time. No matter how hard it would be for me.

He doesn't seem bothered by our distance. I'm not sure if it's a good thing. Casually he will text that he missed me but I often see him partying when I check his friends' social media.

At least he's pre-occupied, right? It's my fault for being too busy. I don't have the right to question his sincerity.

At least, at the end of the day, it's still me. He's loyal to me.

I had a meeting in Cebu when he texted me that he's caught the flu. Nasa Hongkong pa ang pamilya niya at mag-isa lang siya sa bahay, sa pasko pa sila uuwi. I instantly worried knowing that no one would take care of him.

I cancelled my meetings for the afternoon and flew back to Manila. He was sick for 2 days so I decided to stay. Grandma has been calling me but I didn't answer. I have been neglecting Adriel because of work and I need to make up to him.

When he recovered, I immediately flew to Singapore to work.

I miss him. He's the most important thing in my life right now.

I have to make it work somehow. I wish to free up my schedule, if not now, maybe sooner.

Even before flying to Singapore, I already felt the symptoms of the flu, too. However, I need to finish my work or else I would not have time to meet Adriel's family this Noche Buena.

On the exact day of Noche Buena, I flew back to the Philippines. I collapsed at the airport. I woke up on the hospital bed with an IV injected on my arms. My secretary stood up when he saw me awake.

I saw bodyguards at the door entrance, talking to their in-ear.

A few minutes later, my mom entered the room.