lilies.

31

Kabanata 31

Nasa rooftop kami kinabukasan ni Gab. I still live in Parkland even though my school's in BGC.

We're in our usual spot. Nakasandal ang ulo ko sa balikat niya habang gumagalaw ang swing.

"How are you and that guy close? I heard they are all from Ateneo."

"Sa Pop-Up lang din. Why? What did Rai tell you last night? Bakit ka umuwi?"

"About you telling him about my lovelife," Nag-angat ako ng ulo. Hinampas ko ang hita niya. I glared at him.

He chuckled, "Was that even a lovelife though? I'm close to thinking that it was one-sided."

"It was not," I shouted but then I realized that the later years... "Well, it's one-sided now."

"You could use his help."

"He asked me to date him because he said I don't know how to flirt! Ikaw ang nag-suggest sa kanya non no?" sigaw ko, "Ang sama mo, chinichismis mo ako."

He is not taking me seriously, "No, I just told him I am frustrated with you whenever you voiced out your what ifs."

Hindi ako nagsalita agad. Lagi naman niya iyong sinasabi sa akin.

"Why do you think I could use his help?"

"You don't know how to date, Lily. You're used to running away from guys who like you since elementary."

"And? How can he help me then?"

"Date him. He doesn't do girlfriends. He's a sport."

"Binubugaw mo ba ako?"

"I can't help you personally with your problem. I am suggesting someone who can. I think he's interested in you as well. He's so into your failed puppy love so I showed him your ugly picture. He said he's okay to teach you."

Kinurot ko siya. "What the f? May tutorial na pala ang 'dating' ngayon?"

"Seriously, try to hang out with him. Loosen up."

Nag-away pa kami tungkol doon at nang napagod ako ay binalik ko na ang ulo ko sa balikat niya. Ilang minuto kaming tahimik at nakatutok lang sa cellphone.

"Hmm," I can't stop thinking about what I felt that night, "Gab, I think I am kind of attracted to him, does it mean I like him? I felt something with him that I don't feel with you."

"That's because we are already past that awkward phase. Since Grade 1 pa tayo magkasama. Sabi mo crush mo ako nung Grade 1, bakit nawala?"

Hindi naman niya ako hinihintay sumagot. Prolly, this is one of his lectures again about socialization. I rolled my eyes.

"Because you are used to me. When you're past that awkward phase...you realize you didn't like me. Just an attraction. Mere attraction."

I didn't even try to interrupt. I just let him speak his mind. He is always like this. I am used to this. I like listening too.

"Nakakakaba talaga sa simula. Kahit ako kapag nanliligaw pero after that stage, doon mo marerealize if you really like the person. When the sparks start to fade and you feel comfortable. When both of you are starting to not put your best foot forward, try and see from then on if you really love the person."

He paused then continued speaking. Pinindot niya ang cellphone niya para tingnan ang oras. Tiningnan ko rin iyon. It's past midnight.

"I want you to get past that stage. Not run away from it. Explore it with Rai so you'll know what to do when you want to get serious with a guy you really like."

"Are you not scared that I will fall in love with him?"

He chuckled. "I wish you would fall for other people, Lily. Your loyalty with Adriel is the death of me."

"I'm loyal to the people I love."

"Yeah, yeah. I know that. That's why I trust that you won't easily fall for him and he will never fall in love with you, Lily. Anyways, I trust Rai because he is a gentleman, like me."

I cringed, "Buhat ng sariling bangko, Gab."

"He is a sport. He knows boundaries and consent. If you say, you don't like it. He will stop. And he doesn't do girlfriends, if Adriel miraculously showed up on your porch, you could easily break up with him."

"You are silly."

"Try a relationship for god's sake, Lily. That Adriel already had countless relationships, my friends told me. Kaya bakit ikaw nananatili kang loyal sa kanya? Don't tell me, you still wait for him? Hoping that he will message you once you guys are 21 years old?"

Well, I think of it...sometimes! I am being too much of a hopeless romantic, okay?! I know it won't ever happen but I just hope. I even imagined what it would be like once we saw each other again once we're 21 years old. I am silly. I know.

I guess I should stop reading fiction books.