lilies.

68

Kabanata 68

Rai's POV

I never confessed what I really feel for Lily. I haven't verbally said those three words.

She doesn't seem to mind. Sometimes I feel like she knows how to play this game better than I am. She doesn't look like someone who's whipped. She doesn't show any hint that she's in love with me.

Well, I rejoiced when she got jealous once. I feel like that's my tiny hope that maybe, she's in love with me. That's the only hint I have. It's not even guaranteed because she was drunk.

However, it's not the reason why I didn't confess. From the moment we met again, it is instilled in my head that she still loves Adriel.

It has been years but she's still affected everytime Adriel's name is mentioned. I can't forget what Gab said when he suggested for Lily and I to be a couple. That Lily can easily break up with me if Adriel breaks up with her girlfriend. We're not seriously dating. She formally introduced me to her mom and grandma but we could still break up. That puts all the insecurities I have for our relationship.

Saan ako lulugar doon? Kung si Adriel pa rin, nasaan ako?

Hindi ako natatakot na magkagusto siya sa ibang nanliligaw sa kanya. Nang sabihin sa akin nina Kai at Ian iyon, hindi ako kinabahan man lang. I was never threatened because I know that she will choose me over them. I know.

But over Adriel?

Hindi ako sigurado.

Like what Lily said, we attended Nicole's despedida. Mayroong inupahang private room si Nicole sa isang bar sa Manila. Hindi ko alam kung bakit niya rito napili.

Hindi ko lang gusto rito dahil masyadong magulo ang daan papunta. Maraming lubak ang daan at magulo ang mga daan na dinadaanan. Habang papunta pa nga kami at naghihintay ng stoplight ay may mga batang nagbuhos ng tubig sa windshield ng sasakyan ko. We're both shocked. They cleaned it with dirty water. I'm just so stressed because I'm with Lily. I want everything to be smooth sailing when I'm with her.

The kid knocked on my window asking for payment for the service I didn't even ask! I get the 500 peso-bill I have on the car. That's the only cash I have.

This is bad omen. I shouldn't have come. Hayop na Gab. Kailangan pa talagang magsumbong at awayin si Lily.

He'll be laughing his ass now. He really manipulated his way to guarantee my attendance. Tangina niya.

Pagkapasok na pagkapasok pa lang namin ay agad na nila kaming pinaghiwalay.

"You're always together. Samin muna si Lily."

Simula pa lang na gawin nila iyon ay gusto ko na agad umuwi.

Kung gusto ko naman silang makita, gagawa ako ng paraan para makita ko sila. Ngayon, hindi ko pa sila ganong ka-miss para kitain.

I don't really feel like partying too. I can't drink now because I brought my car. Gusto kong ako ang maghahatid kay Lily pauwi.

"You used to be fun," ani Nicole nang inalok niya ako ng alak at tumanggi ako.

"I can be fun kung hindi niyo ako pinipilit na pumunta kahit sinabi kong ayoko," patama ko kay Gab na nasa malapit lang din.

"You always say next time. I can't blame Gab for making pilit."

"I'm tired of partying."

"Shut up! We're not even that old, huy. 20 pa lang tayo."

"Whatever you say," Kibit balikat ko.