lilies.

92

Kabanata 92

It was a peck. Rai didn't move his lips. I slowly distance my lips after that. It's like Rai isn't believing any of my antics.

"You were not the type of person who says what they don't mean..." He answered slowly. He's thinking this through like deciphering what I am currently doing or he just can't believe it, "Or are you getting so good at making people believe that you like them? I saw you flirting, Lily."

I blinked my eyes trying to look innocent. I even pouted my lips hoping that it's effective.

I chuckled. I can't be serious with him.

"I don't say what I don't mean, Rai."

He looked up and firmly closed his eyes. I heard him groan. "I am still in love with you, Lily, I'm serious about this. Are you serious about this?"

Ignoring his question, "Still?" Did I hear him right?

He playfully nudged my forehead with his point finger, "Silly. Was it not obvious? Even Tita Catherine knew that I am crazy for you."

He sighed. He enveloped me with another tight hug, full of warmth...full of love.

"I have liked you since I was 12 years old, Lily. You've been in love with Adriel since you were, I don't know, 11? 12?"

"Well, if we're talking about ages around 5 or 6," I whispered jokingly.

He frowned.

"See where I'm getting at? While you prayed at night to end up with Adriel, I prayed for you," He's busy reading my face and my face clearly showed confusion. How did he know me when he was 12? "See? You don't even remember where and when we first met. You were madly in love with Adriel. You can't blame my disbelief right now when you told me you're in love with me...just how? When?"

Halos itaktak ko ang laman ng utak ko para maalala kung kailan at saan kami unang nagkakilala ni Rai. Well, I vaguely remember meeting her mother when I was 12 or 13 years old? That's when I thought that Tita Alice was Mommy's boss at the hospital, so I tried to carefully impress her. Oh!

I exclaimed, "Oh!" I pointed at him. "St. Collette's? Right? We first met there. You were with your mom! You wanted to be called Skyler but your mom kept calling you Rai. See? I remembered!" I answered as if I won a contest. "So, you gave in to your mom, huh?"

"You don't exactly remember that moment," He whispered, "You are the reason why I wanted to be called Rai...

He stopped and whispered slowly as if in the rhythm of a lullaby, "Rai is better po. Short and easy to remember. You told mom that. See? Baby, how can I believe you?"

I sighed and then pouted. I am not sure where to start. By telling how did I realized I've loved him is touching the darkest days of my life. It's hard.

"You heard about the tragedy? The capsizing of one of our ferries collided with an oil tanker?"

Naninikip ang dibdib ko habang sinasabi iyon.

"Yes," He answered calmly, "You don't have to tell me the details about it if it makes you uncomfortable. I already knew all about it."

I bit my lower lip and nodded. I exhaled.

"And about Sam?"

Nilagay niya ang takas na buhok sa likod ng aking tainga. He slowly nodded, looking sorry for me.

"After knowing about Sam, my grandma forced me to go overseas. I thought I'm not going to stay long so I only brought a few things with me; the ones I usually bring, and one of them is the camcorder we bought when we were on a trip. Do you remember that?"

Umiling siya. "See? You didn't even remember," I playfully teased him like he was teasing me moments ago. Tumayo ako sa pagkakaupo at nagulat siya roon, "I'll just get my phone. I have something to show you."

Bumalik ako na hawak ang cellphone sa kamay. Naupo ako sa tabi niya. At binuksan iyon. The video that I was watching to calm down my nerves was the first thing that showed up.

I hover it to scroll it towards the start of the video and press play. Inabot ko sa kanya. While the video is playing, I continued speaking, "When I was at my lowest and breaking down, I found that collection of videos we have in Greece, and..."

My eyes started to form tears. I blinked twice and swallowed hard to continue talking, "It calmed me. You saved me. You were an important person to me ever since we got so close and almost inseparable. It's just that I already labelled Adriel to be my only love, that's why I wasn't able to put labels on what I feel for you," I smiled sadly, "I still watched that video whenever my thoughts consumed me. It never failed me."

He is holding my phone loosely. His eyes were focused on the video and shortly after I saw tears falling on the screen. I never expected him to cry, that is why I am so shocked. I never saw him cry.

My immediate action is to hold his head to lean on me. I wrap both my arms to embrace him.

"It must've been hard," He whispered after I heard him sniff.

He tightened his embrace. He rested his head on my shoulder.

"It's been weighing on my heart. Maybe things ended up this way all because of me, so..."

"It's not your fault. It was just meant to end up that way. No one would've been able to stop it, no matter what they did. You know, when you're so heavy hearted, you feel guilty even if it's not your fault.

"You should let it go now."