For All Time: Michael Jackson

Chapter 14 - Search your heart

𝙳𝚎𝚌𝚎𝚖𝚋𝚎𝚛 𝟸𝟻𝚝𝚑, 𝟷9𝟾𝟻 - 𝟷𝟷 𝙰.𝙼.
*𝙹𝚊𝚍𝚎'𝚜 𝙿𝙾𝚅*

It's finally Christmas Day.
I have already showered and took a hot shower, and I was now in the kitchen with my mother, preparing breakfast.

My father was sitting in the living room watching television, while Paul was still upstairs taking a shower.

We arrived two days ago, and yes, we did talk about Michael... well, my mother has seen me and Michael in TV so she asked me about him in front of Paul, and she got so excited knowing that we are good friends that Paul got jealous again.
Ever since, he has been giving me the cold shoulder.
Of course my mom isn't stupid, and she immediately knew that something wasn't right... yet, we decided to talk about it sometime when we're alone, and now it seemed like the perfect timing.

"So... are you going to tell me what is going on with you and your husband? Is it about Michael?" she whispered, while we kept preparing breakfast. I sighed.
"Yes, mama... ever since we got married, he became strangely jealous over me and Michael. I don't know why, but it's starting to irritate me... I can't bear this anymore." I explained, while whisking the eggs.
"Jade... look at me." she said in a soft tone, and placed her hand under my chin, forcing me to look at her.
"If he's jealous over Michael then there must be a reason, and I feel like you're not telling me the complete truth..." she started, here we go... "if you don't talk to me I can't help you." she then added and flashed me a faint smile. I sighed and nodded.
"Well..." I started, "I know how Michael feels about me, and I think Paul knows too." I confessed.
"What do you mean? Wait... Michael loves you?" she asked as her eyes grew wider, excitement clearly evident in her eyes. I tried not to smile, but I just couldn't hold it back. And I was probably blushing too.
"Yea..." I whispered and looked down,
"And what about you? Do you... feel the same for him?" she hesitated a little, and ended up whispering the last part.

I placed the bowl down and went to sit on a chair, my hands in my hair, while releasing a heavy sigh.

"That's the thing, ma... I don't know. Michael is special to me... we've been separated for a time, and I felt so... empty, without him. He makes me happy, and he's a good friend. We even kissed once, but that-" I said and she immediately interrupted me,
"What? You kissed?!" she asked shocked,
"Yes, but that was before I got married..." I explained, she looked deep into my eyes for a while and released a sigh.
"You can't stay away from him, can you?" she asked and grinned. I clenched my jaw, trying not to smile, and looked down at my hands resting on my lap instead. "Jade... I raised you better than that. Hiding your feelings is not right. You can't command your heart... I think you know what you feel, you're just too afraid to admit it." she added.
"Well, what am I supposed to do then? Hm?" I snapped,
"Sort out your feelings... think about with who you feel happier, with whom you feel safe... to which one belongs your heart... and with who do you want to spend the rest of your life with. Once you figured that out, you'll find out the answer you're longing to get. Search you heart, Jade." she said and placed a kiss onto my forehead before going back to cook breakfast.

Without even noticing, my eyes were full with tears.
I grabbed my wool jacket, quickly put it on, and walked outside the backyard. I looked up at the sky and my eyes finally released a tear ...
I let out the air I have been trying to hold in...

'Search your heart' she says... as if it's that easy.
How the hell did I end up in a situation like this?
Dear God, please help me... I don't know what to do.

After I've calmed down, we all took a seat around the dining table of my parent's dining room, said a prayer and enjoyed the delicious breakfast.
When we were done, we gave each other our Christmas presents, and enjoyed the day like a little Family that we are, even though I wasn't really in a Christmas Spirit...

'Search your heart, Jade'

*𝙼𝚒𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚎𝚕'𝚜 𝙿𝙾𝚅*

I was now laying in my bed, my hand tucked behind my head, and I was starring at the ceiling while some music played through the radio in the background of my bedroom.

Today is Christmas, but since me and my Family are Jehova's Witnesses, we don't celebrate Christmas.

I have been thinking about the songs that I've written so far for my upcoming Album, and after the Holidays we are going to keep working on it, hoping that we'll get it done by the end of next year. I mean, we have to. I did spend a lot of time on this Album already, and we still haven't done much.

After we had some launch, I walked back into my room and right when I was about to watch some television my phone went off.
I grabbed the speaker and put it to my ear.

"You're speaking with Michael Jackson." I said,
"Hey Mike... I know you don't celebrate Christmas, but... Merry Christmas." Jade's soft voice said, making me giggle.
"Thank you, Merry Christmas to you too." I replied smiling and layed on my back again,
"How are you?" she asked,
"I'm doing good, and how are you? How is your family doing? You're in Pomona right now, right?" I replied,
"I'm good, my family is doing great, and yea I'm in Pomona." she replied and released a sigh,
"Is everything alright?" I asked, while a weird feeling started to form in my stomach,
"Yea... I just felt a little lonely and I missed you, so I thought I might as well call you." she replied,
"How can you feel lonely when you're with your family?" I joked, making us both giggle.
"Well, I just missed you..." she whispered, making me blush.
"Aw, you could've told me, I would have jumped in the car and in less than thirty minutes I would've been there." I teased,
"Stop! Don't do that to me... I might take your offer seriously." she scoffed, making me laugh even more.
"What, you really want me to come? Even though your parents and your husband is there?" I said, but she didn't reply, she remained silent, I could only hear her breathing. "Jade? Are you sure everything is fine?" I asked, seriously this time.
"Yea... I just..." she started, "nothing." she said after a while.

We ended up chatting for a while, and with more time that went by the more she sounded more relaxed.
I still couldn't understand what was wrong with her, though. Something was going through her mind, but she just won't tell me what it is.