Lookism: What Am I Even Doing?

Chapter 109

(Jake's POV)

A thin envelope arrived from the court on Thursday. The guard was careful not to touch my hand as he slid it through the thin slot. There was no 'congratulations' or 'have a good life' waiting for me. These government slaves knew the backwards life I'm destined to live. For them, this letter was a vacation. Some are probably already making bets.

Will I last three months? A year? Maybe as little as a week. And when I return, there'll be no more trials. Juvenile Hall will wait for me patiently until I age out and get transferred to a real jail. One with men twice my age who look ragged and worn. How would a handsome young thing like me fare with hardened criminals?

I chuckled to myself.

Aside from all those hypotheticals, that attorney fulfilled his promise. That Japanese woman...I only trust her because of my situation. It's normal for a Korean to be wary of a Japanese but it seems like I found myself a good ally. Now, she only has one more condition to fulfill.

Sinu Han, you bastard. I'm going to find you.

The door to my room slid open, "These were left for you by a visitor."

In the hands of the firm man was an incomplete suit. A white button down, dress shoes, and black slacks. He tossed them on the floor in front of me. I ignored the obvious disrespect and took them. Now is not the time to let my ego get the best of me. The boys have waited long enough for me. All of them were released three days before since their crimes weren't as severe as mine.

"Do you mind giving me some privacy?"

He didn't move. Of course he wouldn't give me the courtesy. Well, it's nothing to me. Here there were no curtains in our showers. We shit with a door that's barely classified as a door. How many times have my boys been strip searched for cigarettes or lighters?

I stood and slowly began removing my clothes. My prison uniform fell onto the floor. It felt good to finally have good material on my skin again.

"Boys like you never change. No matter how many chances they're given. One of these days, you're going to regret the path you've chosen. In here, your goons protected you but out there? How loyal can a kid be?"

Sometimes kids are more loyal than the adults who abandoned us or complicated our lives. People like him don't understand the loyalty that runs in blood like ours. We're compassionate with those of the same upbringing and we respect each other's struggles. To them we're only thugs but to each other, we're family.

We're there on birthdays.

Christmas.

New Years.

And funerals.

But I won't explain that to an ungrateful man. He wears a wedding ring yet he never speaks of his wife. Could it be out of protection of her name or is it another failed marriage? I hear things when they think I'm not listening. By the way he talks about the female visitors I say his wife chose the wrong man.

So what does he know of loyalty? He can't even think of other women without sexualizing them. That's practically the same as cheating.

Or, does he feel so sorry for his pitiful life that he gives this speech to anyone he deems inferior? In that case, it's a problem of infertility. How little must he be that he's this insecure to corner a kid on release? So pathetic.

Our walk was long and silent. For a moment I believed he would let me leave in peace. After the paperwork was signed, after my pledge was given, all I had were the gated doors in front of me. A long ring rang throughout the room until there was a soft click at the lock. He took the door with a heavy hand then gazed up at me.