Lookism: What Am I Even Doing?

Chapter 101

(Doc's POV)

"You son of a bitch! I trusted you!"

Han pushed me down onto the floor. I didn't fight back as he climbed on top of me. From the corner of my eye I could see Cherry holding little Daniel back. The kid wanted to protect me. How sweet. But this is the punishment I deserve. It's not enough to apologize so I won't even try.

Thwack!

"She trusted you!"

Thwack!

"Why? Why?! Why..." He lowered his fist, leaving me to feel the pain alone alongside my jaw. No one moved as the man on top of me began to cry. His sobs moved something in us all. A dangerous reality that only he could understand. We were friends or outsiders but he was family. None of us could imagine the pain of losing a niece and maybe daughter.

"I tried--I tried so hard to keep her away from all of that. When she died...I found comfort in knowing that at least she did on her own terms. Now, you come in here...and you tell me all of these things." My body dropped to the ground as he let me go, "Why are you people so desperate to take my family away from me?"

Cherry tried to comfort him. He gently pushed her away and shook his head. Little Daniel was feeling conflicted. Not even he knew what I had done. He knew I had worked with Jong-su but to find out I was the main reason his friend was stuck in that place? He must hate me too. Anyone would.

"You knew things would come to this."

Han glared at me through blurry eyes, "Don't! Don't make excuses for yourself! We were fine! She was fine! She--she was trying."

I sat up, "Trying isn't enough sometimes. You know where she came from. This was bound to happen sooner or later."

"No! This wouldn't have happened if you'd left her alone! You could've warned her! You could've helped her! Instead you had me give her those drugs that never worked, did they? I--as a guardian felt safe enough to open up to you about our problems. I felt safe enough to give her over to you and you...you took advantage of that!

And all for what?

Just so you could save yourself?!"

"So what if I did it to save myself! I'm a person too! I'd been stuck working for evil people my whole life! God forbid that I wanted to escape all of that! I saw an opportunity and I took it.

Yes, I was selfish! Yes, I took advantage! I'm not here asking for your forgiveness! If I had, I'd be groveling at your feet! But this is not all on me! You knew very well about her situation. Not just her illness but her past! You'd be stupid to believe that something like that could just GO AWAY!

You, your brother, your sister-in-law. All of you understood what it meant taking that girl in. Instead of letting her die or be killed by that evil man once he found her...you gave her life. Believe it or not, she had the time to live normally when she was created for fear. She laughed, fought, made friends, and enemies.

But she lived when she was meant to die.

You think I don't feel bad for taking that away from her? So stop being so damn emotional and listen to me now! I made a mistake! I took the easy way out of things! I sacrificed someone who wasn't ready yet!

Yes! I know that!

So sit down with me and let's find a way to bring her back. That way..." Han clenched his jaw, "she can live the time she has left."

Little Daniel stared at us, "You make it sound like she's going to-"

Han stood up, "Boy, do you want to save your friend?"