Lookism: What Am I Even Doing?

Chapter 105

"Mr. Tsubasa, you have a visitor. Shall I send him in?"

Seeing how this 'visitor' isn't even being introduced, it must be that child. I nodded towards the guard. It seems that my day has come. Will you do nothing to stop it, old friend?

We've known each other long enough for me to address you as such.

I looked towards the ceiling. He really has abandoned me. You'd think that after everything I've done, he'd at least come to bid me farewell.

It's not surprising though. When have I ever been anything more than a pawn in his game? Though I wouldn't mind the reassurance of playing my part well. I'm owed that much.

The cell door opened. I didn't bother looking up from the table. I'd been lucky all my life. Even when I was thrown into jail. Normally a Japanese man in a Korean prison wouldn't bode well.

"You don't seem surprised to see me. Did someone tell you I was coming?"

That would be unnecessary. You were the only one to visit such a despicable man.

"When I was younger, I knew a girl only a few years younger than you. She was a senior at a Japanese High School. The first time we met I almost had her killed. I found out she was like me, you see. Except she lacked purpose. You could call it pity or maybe I was in a good mood. What mattered is that I let that crying terrified child go. Would you like to know what became of her?"

There was a soft click. I laced my hands together. Good thing I didn't offer him tea. The cups would've gotten dirty without reason.

"What does it matter? I'm here to ask you a different question."

"That girl...overcame her fear in order to protect the people around her. And I so blindly let her close when she became older. Mistaking her for someone who took interest in my art. In the end, she's the one who put me behind these bars. You...you've met her too. I have no proof but I know it."

"You lied to me. I did everything you told me and more yet he hasn't spoken to me. Why hasn't he spoken to me?" For a second, this monster's voice turned into a vulnerable child, "You promised."

I promise. He promised. People say useless things all the time. It's a fool who believes those words so easily. Had he believed he was special? I took him in because we shared the same origin and he was intelligent.

Once, I wish to ask why he so desperately wanted to talk to the universe. To FATE.

"Maybe fate has abandoned us or perhaps you still haven't succeeded."

I was met with silence.

"You come to me today, not to ask why fate hasn't spoken to you. Instead, you come here for reassurance. That story I told you is the last piece of wisdom I'll give to you. Do not think you've claimed someone else's fate...until you've completely broken down their will."

A person' s will is powerful, Jong-su. Just because we are geniuses amongst animals doesn't mean we can cage every beautiful creature we come across.

"You're wrong. I'm going to complete my fate and once I do, he'll have no other choice but to listen. It's sad to see you like this. There was once a time when you were so confident. Now, you're nothing more than an old man who lost his own will."

...

Geniuses amongst animals...

Perhaps, that's where I failed. By calling myself a genius when I'm nothing more than a man.

I must've mistook myself for a God when I was young. Had I been more cautious, had I given others more credit, then fate would've stuck by my side until the end.