Lookism: What Am I Even Doing?

Chapter 96

(Jin Jang's Plan: Episode 8 - Final)

Who's fault is it when children become villains?

We often overlook that fact. Like detectives, we only focus on the crimes they've committed. With confession or enough evidence it doesn't matter to us anymore why they became that way. Because like any office there's too much paperwork to be done at the end of the day. This incident then blends into the thousand other things that need to be taken care of aside from our own issues.

Unless we are highly compassionate individuals, we don't find the need to care after the gossip has died down.

Unless we have been affected directly, we don't find the need to care once it's over.

Children hardly are born criminals and we can't see that. So sit down and ask who's at blame when they do. It only takes a few seconds to ask that question. And with all the information settled in front of you, it takes about an hour more to find the answer.

Evil comes as the byproduct of indifferent people.

So who are the indifferent people that turned an innocent kid into a monster?

Shouldn't those people be blamed too?

So why must we hate the child who was only doing what they were forced to do?

(Ila's POV)

There was a time when, I too, was a good person.

It was a long time ago when I was born in naivety; born into false protection. When you're a child, there are so many things that you can become. It's not always the matter of career when you have to decide for yourself, "what should I become?" That question has been narrowed down to the futures we will create with money.

At some point of time when we didn't worry so much about making a living where that question meant asking yourself, "who will I become?"

"What" and "who" may not seem so different but it is. "What" suggests profession. It suggests learning, training, to become a certain identifiable thing. "Who" takes a more compassionate aspect. Who will I become? "Who" is who we can identify as a being without the need of being identifiable.

And, by personal belief, I think that asking yourself "who will I become?" takes much longer to answer. When you decide what to make of your life, you can simply go to school. People can teach you practice but so little people can teach you how to be yourself. Even if they could, the chances are they'll teach you how to be like them instead of you.

Back then when I was a child, I never sought to be self-ish. In reality, I was quite selfless and carefree as most children are. As years go by that's stripped of them by lack of teaching or mistreatment. Yet by pure stubbornness I remained a good hearted child.

No matter what happened I had this innate desire to be a good person. I never knew "what" I wanted to become but I always knew "who." Society didn't like that. A lot of people didn't. A "who" didn't have a secured economic bracket. A "who" wasn't something that could be planned or achieved. A "who" was simply a dream that led to nothing in a cruel world.

So how did I end up like this?

In my first life my parents convinced me that this was who I truly was. That "who" I wished to become was a selfish goal that could never be obtained. To some people evil people are evil since the day they are born. With what parents give what they promise to be their best, it's impossible to create a craving creature. This is an excuse they give to others to validate their indifferent attitudes towards our problems.