The Perfect Hate

Chapter 44

Rhys pov:

I was tired of having this argument with Kaisen. I can't change who I slept with. I hate that I even told him because he's looking at me like I'm a disgusting human for sleeping with people I trusted to lose my virginity to.

"Taylor said he could leave in a week." Sage came in the room.

I nodded. "We'll likely leave earlier than that." Khari also joined us with two cups of coffee in hand.

He handed one to me. "How are you feeling Kaisen?"

"Good, I can leave today." He was clearly in pain but also looking between us looking all uncomfortable.

"I don't think that's a good idea. Atleast stay a day to rest. Sage and I will be here as well so there's nothing to worry about." Khari tried reassuring him.

Kaisen nodded while looking at the ceiling without adding anything. Khari sighed and turned to me. "Is there any particular reason you returned my hoodies?"

"I can't return things I borrow?" I scoffed.

"You never return anything you borrow." Khari rolled his eyes.

"You're the reason we lack black wardrobe." Sage shook his head.

I shrugged. "I'm turning over a new leaf."

"New leaf my ass." Khari scoffed. "You probably ruined them somehow and don't wanna face the consequences."

I fake gasped. "The fact that you think so low of me hurts."

"The truth hurts, angel." Sage shrugged.

Kaisen's eye was looking between us with a look I couldn't decipher. Once he caught me looking he looked away and pretended to be sleeping.

I rolled my eyes at him. I knew he wasn't fucking sleep. "I feel like we haven't talked in forever and then suddenly you return my hoodies. Are you calling off our friendship?" Khari asked, wiping fake tears.

"We talked two days ago."

"That's because Sage called and needed an opinion on a shirtless selfie. Which you stopped giving opinions on."

"My opinion is if he wants to post shirtless selfies on instagram then he can do it without our opinion." I shrugged.

"Shit he can ask for my opinion anytime, I never mind seeing him shirtless...or naked." Khari winked at Sage.

"You'd like to see me naked again wouldn't you?" Sage flirted back.

"Will you all fucking stop!" Kaisen burst out suddenly. He took in a deep breath. "I'm tryna sleep here get out or I will." The room stopped no one moved, he tried to get up but he was still in pain. He laid back down with his hands over his face. "Can all of you just leave." When he took his hands off his face his eyes were red. "Please, just get out."

I motioned towards the door. Thankfully they got the hint and left without a word. "Are you okay?" I asked, getting up to check on him.

"I just want to be left alone right now. Can you do that?" He had tears in his eyes that would spill any second now.

"No. I can't. You've just been shot and you can't do anything by yourself." I sighed. "Can you please just talk to me instead of shutting me out."

"That is the problem we can't just talk about it. It's not going to go away so I have to deal with it." He wiped at his eyes. "They are your friends and they will always be."

"I'm sorry." I ran my fingers through his hair. "I really am. If they were people I didn't care about it would be different."

"Can you give me a minute?"

I sighed. "I'll go get you something to eat." I walked out but I could hear him cry, something he didn't do when he was shot. I walked out with a heavy heart not knowing what to do. After getting him food I walked back into the room to find him sleeping soundly.

I sat in the chair and watched him. I hate that it's like this. I hate that he got shot. I hate that he's mad about how I lost my virginity. I hate that I can't change it. Even if I could, would I?

At the time they were the only ones I trusted. Khari wasn't even having gay thoughts. Sage and I were going to do it alone, but we were so scared and nervous that we asked Khari to do it with us.

We agreed on it being a one time thing, which it was. Although Sage and Khari are in a relationship with each other. It has nothing to do with me. They started dating a few weeks after Kaisen slept with Sage.

I wish he could see it from my perspective. I lost my virginity to people I trusted and we were able to maintain a healthy friendship after. I wish I could explain that to him.

I got up and left the room. I need air and time to think. I ran into Khari and Sage who appeared to be flirting with each other.

"Is he okay?" Khari asked, his voice laced with concern. I wasn't sure if it was genuine or not.

I shook my head. "I told him how I lost my virginity."

Sage's eyes widened. "He definitely didn't take that well."

"He's hurt...or mad. I think both. I don't know what to do."

Khari rubbed my back. "I think it's best if we distance ourselves a bit."

Sage nodded. "You care about him and we care about you. If he's uncomfortable with us around we'll distance ourselves."

"But-"

Khari shook his head. "Don't. I promise we'll still be here for you. We just...we'll set boundaries and make sure we respect them. You guys care about each other and I don't want us to be the reason y'all don't work out."

"I got over the feeling of being used by Kaisen. He doesn't seem like a bad guy and he makes you happy. I know you can't change the past, but atleast try to be there for him." He rubbed my back before they both walked away.

I watched them leave before going back in the room. I grabbed Kaisen's hand. "I'm sorry." I whispered. I know he'll never see me the same again.

Honestly, I'm scared. I'm scared that he will think it's too much and leave me. Maybe now he thinks of me as used and won't even want me in that way. I haven't slept with many people, but it's more than he's slept with.

He's going to break up with me...and that scares me.