Diaries :Journey from hatred to love

Zaroon 04 January

Mujhe apni cabin mein dekh kar kuch hairan si hogayi woh shayad. Zahir hai main pehli baar uske cabin mein gaya tha warna main hamesha use tang karne ke iraade se bahar khara hokar bhi use apne cabin mein bulwata tha. Kashaf mein pata nahi kya kabiliat dikhti hai mujhko. Yeh soch ke hi confidence ata hai ki 'chalo Kashaf kar rahi hai. Ache se hi karegi.'
Yeh hui office ki baatein magar main aaj deal final hone ke karan itna khush tha ki shaam ki Asmara aur Osama ke saath bahar chala gaya. Aaj bade dino baad Asmara se mulakat hui warna Osama se toh mulakat hoti rehti hai.Ammi ke bad rishte ke naam pe shayad yeh dono hi hai.Bachapan ke dost hai aur bachapan ki dosti sabse pakki hoti hai yakeenan kyun ki us samaya hum bina kuch nafa nuksan samjhe dost banate hai.Asmara Kaafi badal gayi hai. Haan shaadi jo hogayi hai uski aur bilkul typical shaadi shuda logon jaise baatein kar rahi thi
"Zaroon tumhe ab shaadi kar leni chahiye. Aunty bhi toh yehi chahti thi."
"Haan ammi chahti toh thi magar Asmara mujhe nahi lagta mujhe shaadi karni bhi chahiye."
"Arre kyun nahi karni chahiye. Bohot behtareen chiz hai yeh shaadi."
"Haan tum toh kahogi hi. Khud toh tumne pee lia hai yeh zaher ab mujhe bhi pilana chahti ho."
"Zaher?Mujhe aur Osama ko dekho kitne khush hai hum. Tumhari zindagi mein bhi khushi aa jayegi. Tumhara akelapan door hojayega. Thak nahi jate tum aisi zindagi se? "
Usi samay Osama na kaha
"Haan bhai Zaroon sach mein tumhe kar hi leni chahiye shaadi bohot bachelor life guzar li tumne."
"Bohot ajeeb baat hai shaadi ke hawale se tumhari soch aisi toh nahi thi. Bhale hi tum hamesha commitment se bhagte rahe ho."
Maine bas sar hilaya aur muskurakar kaha
"Koi aur baatein karein?"
Ab main unhe kya bataun kyu nahi karna chahta main shaadi. Ammi ki saari baatein yaad agayi mujhe. Akhir main bhi usi baap ka beta hoon. Main ek nakamyab shaadi nahi chahta jisme main apni patni ko dukh ke siwa aur kuch na de sakun. Usse acha toh main shaadi hi nahi karun kabhi. Kam se kam ehsas-e-jurm mein toh nahi rahunga zindagi bhar main. Main yakeenan commitment se dur bhagta tha kyun ki mujhe shaadi nahi karni thi. Par iska yeh matlab nahi tha ki mujhe is rishte se parhez tha. Mujhe bas apna waqt chahiye tha. Magar ab main yeh chiz mein phasna hi nahi chahta. Jab mujhe is chiz se khushi hi nahi milegi toh yeh kar ke kya faida. Khair yeh na koi samjhega na main kisi ko samjhana chahta hoon.