Kill me and I'll kill you - Minsung

Chapter 54

Thankfully, Roses house was rebuilt.

In a weird ambiance, between betray and hatred, they got back home.

Chan, Jeongin and Seungmin didn't know what to expect, but they definitely knew something complicated was about to come.

And as days passed, Jisung was definitely in a complicated phase.

Jisung was stuck in a whirlpool of emotions he had no idea existed.

And moreover, he had no idea how to manage it.

His only reponses to all of it was anger, expressed in the only way he had learn for his entire life, by violence.

"Where is he ?" Chan asked, sighing as Jisung had left the house again.

He looked around, noticing how everything had been thrown to the floor while they were away.

He hated seeing Jisung like that.

"Absolutely no idea" Seungmin said, looking at his feet.

"He might-"

As Jeongin was talking, they stopped upon hearing the door open, as they all turned to the door.

Jisung entered, clothes stained with blood.

"F-uck, Ji" Chan widened his eyes

"Are you okay ?!" Jeongin asked, panicked "All this bloo-"

"Not mine" Jisung deadpanned, dismissing completely from the conversation as he ran upstairs to his room, slamming the door loudly as he did.

"... This is getting out of hands" Seungmin bit his lip.

"Who did he kill again" Chan sighed.

"To be honest ... I'm sincerely scared he might take innocent lives" Jeongin admitted "He's been very unstable"

"Seungmin, tell us if you find anything about this..." Chan asked.

"I'll check"

Most of the times, Jisung could be found in the basement, just like before.

He spent entire nights fighting with his punchingball, even tearing his members out of their sleep at the sound that echoed through the entire house.

And at some point, Chan couldn't help but checking on him.

And he was flabbergasted. The punchingball was completely destroyed, and Jisung's fist were bloody. 

Again, it hurt Chan so bad.

"Ji" He called softly, wanting to lull him into a conversation.

He took a step closer, and as soon as he did, Jisung took his gun, pointing it at Chan without even looking at him.

Chan sighed, typical Jisung.

"Let's talk, ok-"

Jisung moved his gun, pointing right beside him and actually shooting.

Chan's eyes widened as the glass beside him shattered under the bullet, not even believing Jisung actually did it, actually threatening him so frontally.

And he watched, as Jisung put the gun away and continued, as nothing happened.

His cheeks shallow and his eyes so empty.

Chan was worried as hell.

It didn't help that they had actual mission to take care of.

They had to find a solution against Jisuk's associates, and they still had no idea of how to.

And their Leader was completely out of service for the moment, or completely stupid.

"Make them come, then" Jisung stated, shrugging.

"Who ? Jisuk's friends ?" Chan frowned

"Yeah"

"No way" Jeongin stated 

"Jisung, be rational, this-" Seungmin wanted to nag

"I don't care" He deadpanned, scoffing "I'll kill them with my bare hands if I need to"

"Not if they kill you before you do" Chan responded

"They won't" Jisung narrowed his eyes at him

"They almost did" Jeongin responded.

Jisung glared at him, not liking the comment.

"Jisung, don't go on a suicide mission, it'd be stupid" Chan interrupted, wanting to lower down the tension.

"I should have been dead by now, anyway" He muttered to himself

"Jisung, no, please-" Chan softened

"Let's think this better, okay ?" Jeongin tried to smile "You'll even get to lead all the missions you want, but we'll brainstorm before, kay ?"

"Your life is more important than that, Ji" Seungmin added.

"I DON'T FUCKING CARE" He yelled, the room filling with silence "I'll do whatever I fucking want. Let me be, for fuck's sake" He added, voice weakening so slightly, as he left the room right away.

"I hate having him like that" Chan said, head falling in his arms in despair.

"He's hurting" Jeongin said softly "Give him some time"

"Of course" Chan winced "It's... hard to watch"

That same night, Jeongin saw from his window how Jisung was sitting in the garden, looking at nothing.

In fact, Jisung has been there for hours, mind completely blank.

Counting on the unique fact that Jisung always had a soft spot for Jeongin, the latter decided to join him. Maybe he won't shoot him if he tried.

Sitting beside him, he felt reassured when Jisung didn't react badly. He didn't left, nor he put his gun against his forehead. And Jeongin breathed out.

"Emotions are complicated, aren't they ?" Jeongin said softly.

"I preferred when I was thinking I was psychopath without any" Jisung mumbled.

Jeongin softened.

"I don't agree" He smiled at him "I like the Jisung with emotions. He's fun and cute... When he doesn't threaten us"

"It's like a tornado inside my head" He continued mumbling.

"Yeah" Jeongin saddened, patting his shoulder softly "It's complicated"

He watched how Jisung's brows furrowed, as he was slowly letting the sadness out instead of anger.

"My insides are churning all the time" He admitted, bringing his legs closer to his chest.

"Mmh" Jeongin responded "It's sadness"

"I've never felt that before" Jisung pouted.

"I know... It fades away with time" He reassured

"I want to burn things" Jisung said, turning to Jeongin. 

"Just not the house" Jeongin tried to joke, but noticing the look Jisung gave him at that, he felt awkward "... Too soon ?"

Suddenly, Jisung started chuckling so slightly.