Kill me and I'll kill you - Minsung

Chapter 42

"Jisung ? What are you doing at the office ?" Chan asked, frowning.

"Can't I see how my gang is working ? I'm the leader, Duh" Jisung sassily responded.

Chan only stared, not believing him.

"Okay... Maybe I do have something to ask you" He admitted

"Come here" Chan said, pulling a chair for him.

Jisung waddled, sitting behind him and staring at the table, trying to find his words.

"What's the matter ?"

"I've been feeling weird lately" Jisung stated

"How weird ?" Chan asked

"Um... Weirdly weird ? Like an uncommon thing" He said, vaguely.

"Physically ?" Chan raised an eyebrow

"No... I don't think so" He shrugged.

Chan stared for a moment, having an idea what all of this was about.

"What is this related to ?" He asked.

"Um... well..."

"Minho ?"

Jisung looked at him with a frown, wondering how he did that.

"You can read minds ?" He asked

"No" Chan chuckled "You're just easy to read"

"Oh"

"Tell me, what's the matter with Minho, then" He smiled at him.

"Well, I don't know. It's weird" Jisung shrugged.

"You two still have sex, right ?" Chan asked.

"Yeah" He smiled cutely "A lot ! And everywhere, it's fun, like this time we-"

"Okay okay, I get it" Chan interrupted, disgusted "And you like it, don't you ? You're not bored of it, right ?"

"I like it, yeah" Jisung nodded along.

"Then what do you want ? What's happening in your mind ?" Chan asked, trying to bury deeper in Jisung's mind.

"Well... Isn't weird that I ... like ... always want to spend time around him ? Like it's a bit more than I do with you all... It's just weird. I know human crave for physical touches and sexual relationships, but it's a bit more than that ? Sometimes I'd like to only bury my head in his chest and just wait for the time to passes. Am I sick ?" He asked, genuinely confused.

"No, you aren't" Chan chuckled.

"And like... I always feel like I need to be around him... And I kinda think he does the same to me ? And that he doesn't do the same with others ? It isn't logical, I don't understand" He explained, pouting.

"Bub" Chan softened "Have you heard of romantic feelings ?"

Jisung thought for a moment.

"No ?" 

"I gave to you a few books about romance stories. And sometimes, you fall asleep in front of a few movies, romantic ones" Chan explained.

"OH" He clicked "Yeah, I think I see it"

"That's what it portrays. The love, the need for affection, the want to be closer to a significant others" Chan explained.

"Mmh"

"Have you thought about the possibility of having romantic feelings for Minho ? More than cravings for physical needs, you want him to be with you, mind and body" Chan said, watching how Jisung seemed to soften at the idea.

"I- Maybe" He shrugged "But ... what does that implies ?"

"A confession, first thing first" Chan smiled at him "You can talk to him about it. Express the fact that you think you have some kind of romantic feelings towards him"

"And after that ?" Jisung asked

"He'll answer what he thinks about it" Chan nodded "If he feels the same or not"

"What if he doesn't ?" He asked.

"You don't insist, and you learn to forget about it. It's hard, but necessary" He smiled sadly.

Jisung only shrugged.

"So I can say goodbye to his dick ?" 

"Yes, Jisung" Chan chuckled.

"Damn" He pouted "And what if he feels the same ?"

"That's where it becomes complicated" He chuckled "You two can most likely start dating. Being in a relationship"

"Which implies ...?"

"Social rules, Ji" Chan smiled, feeling like a father "Dating, is sharing love. You two decide along each other how you want to define your relationship. Per example, most couples want to stay together all the time, don't want to see their patner involved with other people in sexual intercourse... It's different from one to another but it's mostly common in excusivity"

"I don't get what you mean with 'Love' ?" Jisung asked, tilting his head to the side "I love you all, what's different ?"

"Exactly what you said in the beginning" He smiled softly "Minho has a special place in your heart. You want to be sexual with him, you want to have him around you... all that"

"I see" He nodded "So I love Minho ?"

"Start with 'liking' first thing first" Chan corrected.

"Okay"

"If I can be honest Ji... I'll repeat it to you, but I still feel... a bit weirded out by Minho. But I do know you like him a lot, and I'm pretty sure he does too. If you really feel like doing this all, then you should open up to him about this. If that makes you happy, then you should" Chan said softly, smiling at the boy.

"You think he likes me ?" Jisung asked, confused "He always rejects me"

"He plays around a lot" Chan corrected "He's one to push you out, then joins you in the middle of the night"

"What if it's only carnal pleasure ?" Jisung asked

"It might be, I won't lie to you" He admitted "But he also looked a bit shakened up when the house exploded. As if he only started breathing when you actually got out of it. He seems to cherish you, honestly"

"Really ?" Jisung smiled widely.

"I think so, but no one knows better than him. So ask him, okay ?"

"OKAY !"