Kill me and I'll kill you - Minsung

Chapter 56

Since Jisung opened his heart to Jeongin, he has been better.

He still couldn't bear with the burning emotions confusing his mind every single time he authorized himself to think, but he accepted to listen to his friends.

He stopped living at random times and come back home all bloody, he stopped spending his nights externalizing his anger on the punchingball.

"Is it over, Ji ?" Chan asked, sitting next to him on the couch.

"Yep" Jisung smiled, picking up the paper and showing it too his friend "You like it ?"

Chan watched, chuckling slightly.

"Isn't this coloring supposed to be a picture of a cute family ?" Chan asked "You almost only used red colors"

"Thought it was better if the characters became bloody" Jisung smiled.

"As expected from you" Chan chuckled

"Why is coloring useful for what I'm feeling ?" Jisung asked curiously.

"I don't really know, it was Jeongin's idea" Chan shrugged "But somehow, you can stay hours with your markers doing that and you seem to disconnect slightly. It may help canalizing everything, what do you think ?"

"Maybe" Jisung shrugged "Also ! I drew something" He said, shuffling his papers to show Chan.

"Oh" Chan stated, gulping "Is... Is that Minho ?"

"Yep !" Jisung smiled widely.

"... And here that's you ?" 

"Yep !" He continued, giggling "And there, is his heart" He pointed at the drawing.

Chan didn't know what to say, but he wanted to laugh out loud at the way he drew Minho, eyes crossed to symbolize the boy dead. Morbid.

He has been learning how to manage his emotions.

All of them worked together, finding things for Jisung to do, to say, so he could calm down a little.

He also started crying, which was a hard sight.

They don't think they've seen him crying before that, and he would start crying at the most random times. As if there was no filters between the emotion he felt and the externalizing way he found.

"Hello" Jisung and Seungmin said at the cashier, putting the groceries they wanted to buy.

"Hello" He responded.

While the cashier was passing their things, Jisung looked around, and his eyes stopped on a specific thing.

Condoms.

Out of nowhere, a flood of tears started rolling down his cheeks, a loud cry escaping his mouth.

Seungmin, alerted, turned to him abruptly, widening his eyes.

"Is he okay ?" The cashier asked, worried.

"Who's gonna fuck me, now ?" Jisung cried, letting his head fall on Seungmin's shoulder.

Seungmin felt the embarrassment, even more under the cashier's judging gaze.

"You'll find, Ji" Seungmin tried to reassure, patting his back awkwardly.

"I can't even use my dildos without thinking of him" Jisung cried more, hiccuping like a child.

"Ji... Not in public, please" Seungmin mumbled.

Jisung also ended up accepting getting back in his Leader role. Or at least, the weird one he used to be.

The brainstorming against Jisuk's allies had started, and even if he continiously offered stupid ideas, they were happier to see him actually taking for accountable their opinions.

"OH" Jisung stood up abruptly "I just had the best idea ever"

The other three sighed.

"NO but it's actually a good one" He smirked "I'll need a meeting with them for this"

"Wait, what's behind your head ?" Chan frowned

"Jisung... I really don't think it's a good idea" Chan stated, uneasy.

"It'll work, don't worry" Jisung smiled widely "And at least, y'all don't have to stress over me"

"I know it'll work ... but it's kinda bad. Look, I know how you're feeling right now but-" Chan tried to say.

"Okay, then it's settled !" Jisung giggled, turning to Seungmin "Can you contact them ? Ask them for a meeting, far away preferrably" He asked.

"... Are you sure, Ji ?" Seungmin asked "I'll be honest with you. I'll help you, but I'm not with you for this"

"Doesn't matter" Jisung smiled.

"Same for me" Jeongin added, and Chan nodded.

"It's okayyyy" Jisung smiled "So ? Ask them ?"

That same night, the three couldn't find sleep, while Jisung was already in bed.

"Shh, Jisung's sleeping" Chan nagged when Jeongin let something fall to the floor.

"As if he won't wake up only with the sound of our voices" Jeongin rolled his eyes.

"Right..." Chan sighed "I'm scared of the plan he has" He admitted.

"I'm... not scared but... it's weird. We should be happy but I can't help feeling weird" Jeongin responded.

They turned to Seungmin, wondering if the other was gonna add something. But Seungmin was smiling to himself, tapping on his laptop.

Jeongin leaned in, only to give a peek at his laptop, and he gasped.

Right away, Seungmin closed his laptop, annoyed.

"Are you being serious ?!" Jeongin nagged

"Shh" Seungmin narrowed his eyes at him.

"What ?" Chan asked.

"He's chatting with Hyunjin !" Jeongin said

"Shut up" Seungmin groaned

"Seungmin..." Chan shook his head.

"Hey ! Do I have to remind you that this entire story was between Minho and us ? None of the others knew about this !" Seungmin defended.

"We know, but Jisung made it very clear about 'Stray Kids not approaching Roses', remember ?" Chan narrowed his eyes.

"I never agreed on anything, though" Seungmin said, saddened "I... I liked having Hyunjin around"

"Don't you fucking dare telling him about the plan" Chan said, glaring.

"I won't ... But it's making me uncomfortable" Seungmin sighed.

"Fuck, this is complicated"

On the next day, Jisung was driving to the location Jisuk's allies gave him.

Alone, and wearing a bulletproof jacket this time.

Entering the room, a few people were already pointing their guns at him, and he could only smirk at that.

Sitting on a chair, he crossed his arms.

"Want to revenge Jisuk ?" He asked cockily.

They nodded, listening to Jisung curiously.

"As compensation for killing your friend, I'll give you something in exchange" He smirked more, feeling his burning heart hurt a lot less "Jisuk wasn't the only one hating on him, right ?" 

"I'm pretty sure killing Lee Minho would please y'all"