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Chapter Fifty-Nine

I had to get out of the driveway before I let the tears escape my eyes. I drove down the road for a good ten minutes until I had to pull over. My eyes were watering so bad I could hardly see the road before me.




I pulled over on the side of the road and let myself break down. I hit my hands over the stirring wheel and started screaming. How could he do this to me? Everything was perfect. Absolutely perfect. Then he had to go and ruin it all. When I found out he cheated I thought he meant he just kissed someone or something. That would have still hurt like hell, but there was a bigger chance I could have gotten over that.




Sleeping with someone else however.... That hurts more than anything else he could ever do. I thought he loved me? Apparently I was wrong.




Was he just using me? Did he ever really love me? He said he did it because he was drunk and he missed me. I didn't get drunk and go sleep with some random person because I missed him. I mean yes I was pregnant, but I wouldn't have done it even if I wasn't.




I wouldn't even kiss another person when we were broken up because I was afraid of what he might think.




Then when I'm at home missing him waiting on him to call first, or debating rather or not to call him because I want to hear his voice. I literally craved to hear his voice everyday. He was out sleeping with some random whore.




My emotions were mixed all together. I was incredibly angry, yet I was depressed. Beyond everything else though I was disappointed. Disappointed that I loved so hard that I was to blind to see behind his lies. I can't believe I didn't realise something was different.




I feel so stupid. I let myself believe all the I love yous. Buying the house so we wouldn't have to be apart. Everything. Everything we have now is a lie.




I finally wiped away my tears and started my car back up. I drove to the first bar I saw and jumped out before I could change my mind.




I had never been exactly drunk before, but that is what I needed right now. I needed to drown out my sorrows. I went to parties with Zach all the time when we were together. But I never drank because I was to busy carrying him home.




I walked straight into the bar and told the bartender to give me whatever will get me drunk the fastest. He didn't ask about ID which was a little concerning, but I didn't let myself worry about anything.




After about an hour of drinking I could tell I was loosing it. My fingers were tingling. My vision was blurry. My head was throbbing. I looked at my phone and had five missed calls from Harry. Plus I had three new text messages.




I went to the messages and began to read them. The first one said, 'please baby. I am so sorry. just please come home and we can talk about this.'




The next one said, 'I love you so much only you. you are my one and only.'




Finally, 'sweetheart please answer me. I am in so much pain. I know I hurt you. please let me make it up to you. come home. I love you. xx.'