Reasonable Jerk! ✔

29. I Regret It, I Regret It Everyday!

 ******* Cristina's POV *******

I still can't believe I lied to the boys. I don't even know how I managed to look Harry in the eyes and tell him I didn't love him anymore. That's the biggest lie I've ever told anyone in my whole life.

The pain I saw in his eyes after hearing it, shattered my heart. I love that boy so, so much, with every single fiber of my being. I would give up of my own life for him, without putting too much thought in it. I know I would, that's how attached to him I am. That's how helplessly in love with that boy, that seriously lacks knacks for jokes, I am.

Nothing I said was true, nothing! I'm more than ok with the madness of his life as long as I'm happy with him, which I was. I was perfect.

I regret it. I regret it every single day that passes without knowing if I'll ever see or talk to him ever again. I regret it, but I can't take it back now.

I would be in trouble. He would be in trouble. All the boys would be in trouble. And the worst part of all of this is that I can't even talk about it with anyone. The only one that knows is Paul and he only texts or calls me once in a while and it's all really rushy.

I hate this and I hate that I became one of those persons that's constantly crying. I'm not like this. I hardly cried, only from laughing, and now I can't go a week without shedding a few tears.

I just keep wishing that I'll wake up one day and realize this is all just a nightmare and me and Harry weren't ripped apart. I just want to wake up next to him, with my head on his chest and his arm securely wrapped around my waist.

That's all I want and I would give everything I have to have that back.

******** FLASHBACK *********

(Friday night, April 19th 2014. Two days before the break-up)

I'm so nervous, I'm on my way to some meeting with Harry's management. Why? I'm completely clueless too. Paul called me two hours ago asking me if I was free to go with him to some important place, he didn't tell me where until I was in the car though.

I'm in London again, but just for the weekend though. The boys are doing a couple gigs here this week and Harry flew me over to celebrate our eighth month anniversary.

Cheesy much? Yes. Do I care? No. Do I love it? Completely!

We stop in front of a huge building and I immediately start shaking; it's intimidating.

I was so distracted with the enormous building that I didn't even noticed Paul opening the door for me. I get out and follow him. Once inside the lift, Paul hits the fifteenth floor button. As we get closer to the floor , I grow more and more nervous.

This can't be good, I have a really bad feeling about this meeting. Why would Harry's management want to talk to me? It doesn't make any sense.

"Are you coming inside too?" I ask Paul when the lift's doors open.

"Yes."

"Good." I breath out.

Knowing he'll be there with me calms me down a little. At least I'll have Paul by my side.

I walk beside him, trying to control my breathing, I don't want them to notice my nervousness. Paul stops near a glass door and knocks on it. We enter after getting permission from whoever is inside.

It's a quite big office; a big wooden desk in the middle, two chairs in front of it and one couch on the right side. There's one men with grey hair sat behind the desk and two other man standing on both sides of him, a little behind. All of them have the same neutral expression and thick posture. This won't be good.